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My friend's mom wants to kill her cat...


CAPS4SAMMEH

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So my friend, let's call her A. is going through a really tough time right now. A's mom wants to put A's cat down and I'm not really sure what to do. I have no way of going over there, so I don't really have any way of comforting her. Basically A hasn't been playing with her little brother enough, staying up late all night then sleeping in all day, only to wake up and do her college homework right when he gets home from school. So in order for A's mom to get back at her for doing this, she's going to take A's cat to the vet and get her put down (her parents have been talking about this for years now, using it as leverage to make sure A does whatever they please). But today A's mom actually called and made the appointment or whatever, and they'll be going at 7. A's dad is on her mom's side as well and it seems like it's actually going to happen.

 

I might send a lengthy text to A's mom to try and convince her otherwise (in as an adult manner as I can) but I'm afraid it'll end up with A's mom yelling at A, which she really doesn't need right now. A has had her cat just about all her life, they're really close and I can't imagine what she's going through right now. Any ideas on how I might be able to help prevent it? If at all? And tips on comforting A? She always bottles up her feelings inside which isn't good for her.

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I find this all rather unbelievable but if these people are prepared to threaten and kill a cat to control their child, they're nuts. Why would you think you writing them would convince them.

 

Theoretically, the cat dying might be a good thing because her parents will no longer have a hold over her, and maybe it'll make her angry or give her resolve.

 

Tbh, I would consider reporting them to the authorities (x2) for animal cruelty and child abuse.

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Any vet worth their salt will not allow someone to euthanize a healthy and happy cat.

The cat is the mother's cat technically if the mother pays everything for the cat and is the one who regularly takes her to the vet.

 

I think your friend should find a new place to live with the cat.

I wonder if mom made the appointment as leverage to get this young woman off her rear. Maybe if she actually shows she cares worth a darn about something they won't do it.

 

I think the young woman should call a real home based foster rescue and explain the situation and find out if the rescue can take the cat or refer her to a temporary foster situation to get the cat safe.

I think the young woman should call or actually go to the vets office before the day of the appointment and ask for help and tell them that her mother is coming in to euthanize a healthy cat and ask them how they can stop it.

 

Also, if she has had the cat all her life, are you sure the cat is not very old and suffering from health issues?? I mean, if she is 18-22, I have known a cat who died when they were 22, but most i have known have been 15-18. So you have to get the facts.

 

Tbh, I would consider reporting them to the authorities (x2) for animal cruelty and child abuse.

 

If the friend in question is an adult, it is not child abuse. The adult young woman has every right to leave the household and take the cat with her. She is not a minor.

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I would honestly have to ask - as others have said - how old is the cat, and could your friend be interpreting something on an emotional level that's more practical/medical? If she's in college that could be one old cat, potentially with health issues that are making it a quality of life decision.

 

Maybe your friend's selfishness is also showing as lack of care of her pet, who now needs additional medical support and without extra care, is suffering?

 

Most vets won't euthanize a perfectly healthy animal, even with payment. So this just doesn't make sense.

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ny ideas on how I might be able to help prevent it? If at all? And tips on comforting A? She always bottles up her feelings inside which isn't good for her.

 

Yes, you can offer to adopt the cat. If you have the money to care for the cat. Comfort? Tell your friend to get off her rear and move out or do whatever she can to not sleep the day away and get some motivation in life. That is what she needs.

 

If the cat is indeed 20 years old and suffering from health issues, then she has to stop the victim role and face reality. The cat just might have been suffering for a long time.

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Okay well the cat isn't suffering from any health issues (that they're aware of), she's an old cat (probably around 12-14) and I shouldn't have said "Had the cat all her life" it's more like since she was 8 or so. I can't adopt the cat because I'm heavily allergic to them. But they don't take A's cat to the vet whatsoever because they simply don't want to.

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I find this all rather unbelievable but if these people are prepared to threaten and kill a cat to control their child, they're nuts. Why would you think you writing them would convince them.

 

Theoretically, the cat dying might be a good thing because her parents will no longer have a hold over her, and maybe it'll make her angry or give her resolve.

 

Tbh, I would consider reporting them to the authorities (x2) for animal cruelty and child abuse.

 

Well her parents aren't very good with confrontation (which is why I didn't believe they'd take the cat to put it down at all cause they don't have the balls to do it). So I figured I could text them and hope to scare them off I guess.

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Update

 

Apparently the hostility was high in the household, because of course A wouldn't want to play with her little brother after hearing news of her cat's soon-to-be death. So A's mom got even more mad since this whole thing was about getting her to play with the brother. So she gave A two options, play with the kid or get out.

 

So now A is over my place, which only made her mom even more mad, because she didn't think A would actually leave. But while A was on her way over, her father called and said they won't take the cat to get put down.

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Why won't she just play with her little brother? What is the big deal that she can't interact with the kid? Is it against her moral principles? If she is living under their roof and ignoring her brother - she needs to grow up, really. Ok, she is now living with you, but what has it solved? Was playing with her brother such a bad thing? Now she can sleep til noon at your house, stay up all night, and you will start to get angry when she doesn't do any chores now, too. Is she paying money towards food and utilities?

 

It sounds like they threatened the cat because there is no other way they could get into A's head. Is the brother a half brother that she resents or something? Or a step brother? either way, I can't get it into my old ancient head why it is such a big deal and she can't bear to interact with her brother. That is so sad

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btw, it sounds like they were trying to practice "tough love." If you said your friend had a part time job as well as school, was good about helping around the house and sometimes went to the store and bought things when it was her turn to cook, I would say the mom and dad were controlling, but if I had grown child that wouldn't ever get off their dead rear or acknowledge her sibling, I might be inclined to be at the end of my rope too.

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I think it's time you got a job and your own place to live. Take your 16 year old cat with you and enjoy the last days of its life, just the two of you with no adult expectations of you. Sound good to you?

 

Haha no, I'm allergic to cats, I'd rather not live with one. Plus it's my friend and my friend's cat that's having the problems.

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Sorry, I meant it's time your friend did those things and quits her complaining and you quit your complaining for her. My bad.

 

I agree. And send her back home. The terms of her living with her family and having all expenses paid is that she has to sometimes pay attention to her brother and act like he exists and to go to bed at a time where she can be coherent and not let the day slip by. That's a pretty small price to pay for getting a free ride, IMHO. Maybe you can support her, but what happens when the bills become due for you or if you live with your folks and she is living with you too, that they get sick of her? Learning to deal with her family is part of growing up for her.

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