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I think my mom scammed my money. I don't know who to trust.


wai

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I wrote about this here a while ago. I gave my mother my entire saving to loan it to her friend, she promised me a good interest rate. I had this gut feeling she was lying to me. She didn't loan it to her friend, in fact I thought she spend it. So I came here and wrote about it and everyone thinks she's lying too. I was scared to ask her. Knowing her, she has this big ego. She's the bread winner and no one in the family dare questioning her.

 

But past two weeks, my heart was heavy, I knew something fishy was going on and she was avoiding me. btw, she lives abroad. I live in NYC with no relatives, no family and friends. So i confronted her, told he I knew she spend the money ect... I asked for it back. She said she invested it in a business and she can't take it out right now. She will give it back to me when she can save up that money again. I asked her when? She said she doesn't know.

 

She said she will keep giving me interest but less than before. She can't afford the same rate. I am so upset. I've never felt this depressed in my life. I saved up the money for me and my little sister's future. I can't go to court too because she lives abroad. There was no contract when i gave it to her. My job is at stake too. I can't focus at work. Last night after I had a fight with her, I kept crying and couldn't stop. This morning my head is pounding due to lack of sleep and crying too much I think. I couldn't got to work.

 

 

I feel so lost. how can I trust someone again if i cannot trust my own mother? If my mother hates me this much, how can a stranger love me? I even have thoughts of suicide these days. I feel like I have no reason to live anymore now.

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I'm really sorry... this is a lesson learned... you obviously can't count on her and she scammed you, but it is what it is and you need to deal with it. By that I mean, it is time to focus on YOU and getting your financial house in order. You saved the money once, and you can do it again! But not if you let this impact your job. So your first priority is doing a good job so you can be an earner and a saver and not depend on your mother because obviously she's a liar and a scammer.

 

If my mother did this to me, i'd cut contact with her entirely. You can't trust her, and what she did was selfish and horrible to do to her own son. The thing is your mother is just one person. She is not the whole world. Not all parents are great parents, and you've just learned the truth about her. She just doesn't have normal maternal feelings towards her children, and hence you can't trust her as an individual. But the world is full of people you CAN trust, so you just have to be careful and wise in future about giving up any money to anyone else if it puts you at risk financially. Take care of yourself first!

 

And don't think about suicide. You don't need to give up your life, you need to recognize your mother for who she is, and just not let yourself be victimized again. And consider seeing a counselor if you are extremely depressed nd need someone to talk to. Your mother stole your money, but don't let her steal your life! She's not worth it!

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You need to get real. Any time you invest money, there is a chance of loss. Your mother is actually paying you interest, so frankly you haven't lost yet. Your demand amounts to an early call and to be honest with you, no investment works that way. You don't just get to suddenly have a tantrum and demand instant repayment in full of your investment. It doesn't matter if it's your mother or strangers. Strangers especially would not only laugh at your stupidity, but likely slam you with a lawsuit if you really pushed. There are rules when investing. Time for you to start acting like an adult with your mother instead of a suspicious child and start asking her the right questions about what's what. However, at the end of the day, investment, ANY investment, ALWAYS carries risk of loss. Something that you need to accept responsibility for and quit with the drama.

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I wish I was just being dramatic and this whole thing isn't true. May be I'm not good at explaining what really happened. During our argument, I told her, I want it back by the end of this year. she said "consider it lost I can't give you back your money.". Then I cried and she said she will give me interest but she doesn't know when she can give me back the money I gave her.

 

I hope you have a little bit of kindness in your heart and put yourself in my shoes. I saved up that money, without buying things I want, eating out. So yes, I care. I gave her my entire saving because I trusted her and knowing she's my mother, she would never do such thing.

 

After I gave her the money, I found out, a year ago, she lied to me that she was admitted to hospital. to get me transfer her money. She threatened my sister to tell me a lie about she's being admitted to hospital, otherwise, she'd cut her off.

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It has nothing to do with kindness. We all work for our money and whatever savings we have. We all take risks. All I am saying to you is face and accept the consequences of whatever risks you are willing to take. Just because it's your mother, even if she had the best of intentions, she has no power to guarantee that there will be no loss. She is not superwoman and even then, I doubt she could make that kind of a guarantee. If you don't want to risk loss of any kind, then you just don't invest. Period. It doesn't matter who is asking. That is completely irrelevant. I do understand that loss stings. Trust me, I get it. That's why I have a firm rule, that I only invest what I can afford to lose and again, I don't care who is asking for investment because nobody can guarantee that there will be no loss.

 

Above aside, it really sounds like your mother is in some sort of trouble and not willing to share what that might be or maybe too proud or in denial. Has she run into some bad debts, some sort of blackmail by something, or has gambling problems, or addiction problems, or is paying off some fines? She is acting like someone who is very desperate doing anything it takes. You might want to put aside your pain of financial loss and look into what is really going on with your mom. In your own words, you've described her as this super strong person who is head of household and beyond reproach. It's possible she has made some serious financial mistakes that she is desperate to cover and owning up to them is difficult because of how everyone views her, including you. Money is something you can make again and save up again. I think you need to find out what's actually going on with your family.

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first of all, it was not an investment. I agreed to loan it to her friend because I was told I can ask the money back when I need it. It is the same thing as you putting your money to your saving account, and you get interest. Even then, I know the bank could go bankrupt and lose that money but let's be real, how often does it happen? You need to read my post again to understand what's really going on.

 

I didn't take the risk because I couldn't afford it yet. So according to you, I am willing to face the risk I asked for. The problem here is, she lied to me that she loaned the money to her friend, instead she put the money in her business. Again, I would appreciate it if you read my thread again before giving advice.

 

Yes, she has debts according to her. I asked her why? She can't give me the answer. She said she never had to give explanation to anyone. She refuse to take any advice I give to help her organize her finance. There is nothing I can really do cuz she won't let me help her. I'm sorry i can't help her repay her debt if I don't know the reason why she owe the money in the first place.

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