Should i text my ex girlfriend after no contact, as i still love her!

[kudos119]

I need some advice on what I should do, I have given an explanation of what has happened since we broke up, so advice from both sides male and female would be most appreciated

 

My ex girlfriend broke up with me in mid January. She said we drifted apart, but also said she wants to be single and find herself, however I have been speaking to her mum who says we broke up because she needs to become a independent person and to stop relying on me. I am 22 and she is 19 and at Uni. I done a lot for her during our 2 year relationship, but all these reasons for the break up just confuse me and I can never get a clear answer. Anyways, I went no contact for a month. I never begged for her back, apart from when we initial broke up. I don't know If distancing myself has done me ay favours. I contacted her about a week ago to apologies for something's I said as I was annoyed - I felt betrayed as I had put some much into this relationship. She text me saying I know that breaking off this relationship was the right thing to do. I just agreed with her and said yeah it has made me realise what I want out of life. I than text her the other day because she had some clothes at mine and I asked what she wanted me to do with them, I suggested I give them to her friends, so she can collect it off them. but she said can you hold onto them for me until I get back in April from uni, after this she asked me, how are you, are you okay? I replied back saying I'm good thanks, you? her reply was to say I am really good thanks, which did annoy me a little, I don't know If she done it purposely or she just feels on top of the world. As I have said I have been speaking to her mum, who stated that I hope you two can be friends, I said I wish I could but I don't think she is going to be the same person I knew and she stated that she broke it of because it was unfair on me, it wasn't a healthy balanced relationship.

 

My predicament is that I don't know whether to text my ex just to say I miss her? To show that I care, As I said I never begged or said I love you after the first day of our break up, I don't know if this was the right thing to do or not, as I do want her back but I didn't want to seem pathetic. How should I proceed from here?

 

and girls, why would you want to come out of a relationship in which there was no problem, we hardly argued, we bickered but that was it, and before we broke up she was asking to stay over. So what drives you to just one day think to break off this relationship? also what is your opinion what is going on in her head?

 

Thank you for your time, I will be happy to clarify any questions you have

[DaveDreamer]

It doesnt matter how good you are to a person. How well you treat them. It doesnt matter if you pay for every meal.. or listen to everything she has to say. if she has lost sexual attraction for you then there is nothing you can do except be cool, calm and focused on being an independent ambitious man. You WILL see eachother again, and you want to her to be like "wow" right.

[Longview01]

Don't text her and stop talking to her mum about her as well.

 

Its gonna hurt for awhile but its time to move on.

 

Is this your first proper relationship?

[kudos119]

Don't text her and stop talking to her mum about her as well.

 

Its gonna hurt for awhile but its time to move on.

 

Is this your first proper relationship?

 

It's my first proper relationship that meant something, so yeah. What do I do though if they text me?

[mhowe]

She wont. And if she does, delete it and get on with your day.

[Glowguy]

The explanation doesn't really matter and it's not likely to be true anyway. You are both really young and it is understandable that she would want to focus on other things than a relationship at that stage of her life - it's very common and it may not have much to do with you specifically. Yes this one is going to hurt bad since it's your first relationship.

 

My advice would be to let things be and start focusing on your life 100%. You will recover and the fastest way to do that is to avoid contacting her. Any time you send a message you will be expecting a response. If you don't get a response then things will feel unresolved and you will continue to question it. If you do get a response then it probably won't be what you want to hear and it will set you back to square one. Start a new hobby, play some video games, hit the gym - do whatever you have to do to take your mind off of her. Start dating other girls when you feel you are ready.