FEELING LOST - Break up after reconciliation

[Gemini528]

After dating for almost a year and having a very volatile relationship we broke up. After a month of NC, we reconciled. I wanted that chance to give the relationship 100% and really work on us and on a future together. However, the past and several issues kept haunting us. It seemed like we would take one step forward in our relationship and 10 steps back The issues were everything from

financial issues (he's unemployed)

trust issues (I never felt 100% sure that he was faithful)

his lack of experience with kids (I have 2 boys and he has no children)

 

and so today after a week of talking about it we decided to break up again after acknowledging that our relationship isn't a strong one and no matter how much we try to work on it it doesn't seem to be getting better. For the most part I know what I need to do. I need to focus on myself, focus on work, focus on my kids, but it's still very hard and now I don't know if I'm suppose to go NC or maintain a friendship. It was a mutual break up as logical/reasonable adults, but it's still hard. A break up is never easy. So as the title of my post states, I'm feeling lost.

[mhowe]

Move on..forget about the friendship. A volatile relationship is no basis for a friendship; he is unemployed and your time is better spent focused on yourself and your children.

[catfeeder]

I don't know if I'm suppose to go NC or maintain a friendship.

 

Definitely NC. The whole point of NC is to get over someone, and not to keep ripping open your wounds with every contact. You owe your kids the benefit of your own healing, so I'd quit dealing with this man and put your focus where it counts.

 

Head high.