feel like breaking nc because im lonely

[kathy679]

My ex split up with me over 2 months ago. He was not very nice to me while in the relationship, he cheated and lied and left me post abortion to get back with his ex. The last 2 months have been hell and I told him I couldn't be friends. So far I haven't contacted him for 23 days. I no he was really out of order to me and I deserve , but I miss him so much. Well if I'm honest I miss the company of all the friends we both hung out with. They are his friends, but I got to know them and I miss them too. I'm on my own a lot and I feel like breaking nc to see if we can be friends again. I'm not over him, I still love him, but I would never ever go there again because his not loyal. I just feel really down about being on my own all the time. Do you think I should break nc to see if we could hang out as friends or shall I just forget it...,it seems I'm down and depressed on my own a lot and have nothing to loose.

[savignon]

Its not a good idea. Your feelings are clearly not quite resolved yet and he's unlikely to bring you (his ex gf) around his friends and such at this point when he would reserve that for whatever future girlfriend he has. I would focus on making and developing your own friendships that you can rely on no matter what other circumstances or people are in your life at a given time.

I get the loneliness and am going through similar feelings right now. The thing that keeps me holding steady is that initiating contact and trying to be friends with someone who treated you poorly really sends the wrong message to the universe....like "well, I guess I'm not really worth more and I'm not going to find more so this is okay". Its not okay. Experiencing all the loneliness now will make you more ready and able to participate in a healthier relationship next time.

Stay strong!!

[kathy679]

I understand what u are saying but in so unhappy. I was happier when i had people around me. His new girlfriend, technically they r not going out, so she told me....i think shes a rebound cos he got with her as soon as i had an abortion. Nice, i no... Before i said i couldn't be friends he kept inviting me out with his friends for nights out. He always said he didn't no if he wanted to get back with me. But i no i will never get back with him. I still love him but i miss hanging out with everyone and having the fun we used to have. Life is so so lonely now, i just cant handle the lonelyness more than anything. Else.

[ParisPaulette]

No, it's not a good idea. Someone who would treat you like you describe him treating you as a girlfriend is going to make a lousy friend too. And you know you don't want to be just friends anyways, so don't. If it's company you miss what's wrong with reaching out to some of his friends that you did get close to just to hang out. You could even say something along the lines of, "Look, I don't even want to talk about (Ex) but I miss hanging out with you, can we go have coffee? My treat." Or join activities and make new friends. But stop relying on this guy in any way, shape or form for anything in your life, because yeah he's going to make a terrible friend and you'll get your heart even more broken.

 

Find another solution to your loneliness, trying to befriend someone who mistreated you is never an answer.

[Clabs]

Oh Kathy

 

From your original post there are sooooo many reasons why you should keep away from this excuse for a man. Cheating and lieing - you must be VERY lonely to miss that?

 

Come on darling - for goodness sake. Do you really think so little of yourself that you are craving more crappy trreatment?

 

Get real and look at what is really happening - don't waste any more emotions on a scumbag like this.

 

You can and you will, do so much better. Don't fall into the trap of "something is better than nothing".

[BlueRizla]

Kathy

 

feeling down about being on your own (and I know about that one) is nothing to do with your ex. It will take time but you will eventually realise this. You have to realise it for yourself. If you contact him it will be feeling lonely x 100. Don't give in.

 

And where are your friends? I didn't maintain numerous friendships when with my current ex..but you know what..when I started getting in touch again all were glad to hear from me. And I can tell you..I thought alot less about my ex from then on.

 

Much Love..know how you feel.

[kathy679]

I have got my friends too. I suppose ive always wanted to be part of a family and all his friends are a family, unitied and together. I have always had issues that im aware of because i don't have a family. I do have friends but they are singular and live far away from me