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So as of today i have made it to 30 days of full NO CONTACT. Its been the hardest 30 days of my life so far that is without a doubt. Its been 3 months since the BU, and although i have completed 30 days of NC i still feel so in love with this girl, feels like those feelings will never fade. Im trying to meet other people and have fun but i dont even like other girls right now, im attracted to no girl except my ex, i hope that fades over time. I have really come to terms with the fact that she isnt in my life right now and i have my emotions much more under control. I only talk about her to my therapist and a close friend now. My best friend got back together with his ex after they were broken up for 6 months this past week, he started NC and moved on and had fun and she came back, he basically told me the same will happen with me. I dont know if its giving me false hope or what... A lot of our mutual friends think we will get back together in time, but im the only one not so convinced cause i know her so well. Im trying my best to live life without her and have made lots of positive changes and improvements that im proud of. I made a personal goal of 4 months before i even consider contact with her, who knows how i will feel by then. I know i am healing as after 1 month i feel a bit better, yet still wanting her back in my life badly.

 

 

I guess more time and NC will help. Any thought or advice from anyone?

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Yes, 30 days isn't nearly long enough to be over someone.

 

And no, given that she tried to keep you in her life as "just a friend" while letting you know all about her FWB..... there's not much to hope for there in terms of reconcilliation. No matter what kind of "romantic picture" you try and paint with this woman, she doesn't deserve you and in time hopefully you'll come to see that.

 

The IMPORTANT thing is your healing. What matters least is your ex and any future that involves someone who'd treat you that way. Here's hoping for another 30 days -- and moving on long enough to be really healed and ready for someone who truly deserves to have you in her life!

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Things do start getting... better from this point. You honestly sound like you are doing much better than I was at 30 days!

 

I'm almost 60 days no contact now. Personally at this point I find I'm thinking less about my ex, if only a little bit. And thoughts of her have less impact on me now. The love is still there, but it has faded beneath the surface somewhat. I know it would be so easy for it to resurface though, which is why I hope she stays the hell out of my life.

 

I've also started thinking more about the negatives of our relationship, which even though I could see before, they now seem more important than the good parts.

 

Don't stress about the hope. Or at least try not to. The trick isn't to try and crush that hope, its just to stop thinking about her. If we can do that, one day we'll realise we don't even want them back any more. I've been doing some mindfulness breathing that has been really helping, and taking St Johns wart which is good for balancing your nervous system.

 

Good luck, may we all get better soon!

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