Jump to content

I Just Want To Tell Her How I Feel


Rob1000

Recommended Posts

This is just to get something off my chest!

 

I'm a personal trainer doing fitness classes and have a great group of clients, male and female. I'm the complete professional around my clients and have never mixed business with pleasure.

 

There is one girl however, Laura, who has been a client for a number of years. She's the most perfect girl I've ever met - inside and out! She's amazing! We get on so well and have a great laugh together at my classes. She has a long term boyfriend who doesn't seem like much, but that's not the issue. I would never interfere.

 

All I want to do is tell her how I feel. Nothing more, nothing less. I'll probably never tell her unless they were to break up, but you know when you've got something on your chest and you just have to spit it out? Its like that. I would never involve myself with someone who is taken or try and steal another man's girl, but I just want her to know that I think she's amazing!! Aaaah... frustration!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you think she may like you back?

If not then why risk telling her something that may make things very awkward. I know how you feel, I have been there, and I have went on telling about my feelings to someone who was not that much into me, and it let to a disaster, I am not friends with him anymore due to his stupidity.

 

She has a boyfriend, I think you should give her non-verbal signs for now, dont be to forward.

 

please answer mine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's the thing, she's someone else's so its not an issue of whether she likes me back or not, although I think she might.. a little! And she's that cool, that telling her wouldn't make things awkward. All I want to do is tell her how I feel. Its just burning me up!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Let's step back a minute and suppose that you were a doctor, lawyer or a psychiatrist. Would you think that it would be ok for someone to take advantage of that position and attempt to start something with a client? How is your position any different? I'd say stay professional, honorable and keep your integrity.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

if you know you're in love with her then maybe you should let her know. as long as you are not crossing boundaries by chasing after her still if she tells you that she doesn't see you in that way. and if she was content with her current boyfriend, having you tell her that you like her wont affect her current relationship.

 

a friend of mine who was engaged and planning her wedding was told by someone that he was in loved with her for a long time and it turned out that she was in love with him too. not the best way to go about things, but at the end of the day it's all about your happiness and hers as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you say something, there is no way for it not to sound like a come on. A come on that says "you up for a little fooling around behind your boyfriends back?".

 

So rather than make her feel flattered, if she is actually that amazing, she'll probably just distance herself from you. Which may not be the worst thing in the world here. Doesn't sound like you can really keep things professional anymore with her anyways.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you don't eventually tell her you'll look back when your 80 kicking yourself for what possibly might have been. Big risk, big reward. The worst that can happen is she's not interested but at least you'll have the peace of mind that you made a move and won't have to wonder.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Let's face it, you'd be happier if she was with you. Let's not beat around the bush here. If she isn't happy she should leave this guy--her decision and not reason you should make any advances whatsoever with her, until the relationship is over. Anything more forward would be disrespecting her--is there anything she's done to maybe show something for you though having said that?. I think in the meantime just respect her and keep communication but keep things platonic, try and get her Facebook or something. But don't be too forward, you've got to respect this guy who as you say, "isn't much"

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If my trainer...and I have one...told me he thought I was amazing and he wanted to date me after me having been his client for years...I would find it completely inappropriate. Especially if he knew I was in a relationship.

 

I agree, like I said keep things platonic, but if you have the motive of further connection, you need to pick your battles. Ask yourself is it worth it, what if it backfires! You could lose a very nice person in your life.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks All. Very valid points by all which is why I'm on here talking about it and not confessing my love to her in person. My fitness crew are all very close, and we're all more like friends now. If I was to say anything it'd be very lighthearted and not over-bearing in any way. We get on really well and I know if she was single, I'd have a shot with her. Again, I probably won't ever say anything unless she were to break up with this guy, but I can't see that happening. So, I'll just have to find another girl!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jiminy xmas. I don't know why people think that just because someone is in a relationship or dating someone they are off limits. They are not married to the person. Did you ever think that since she doesn't know how you feel she won't break up with him. Maybe she is waiting for you to make a move so she can break up with him. Usually people like to have someone else lined up before they break it off, especially those who can't be alone.

 

I don't think it's disrespectful to hit on someone in a relationship for the simple fact all you have to do is say no to the advance if you're really committed. If I was in a relationship I wouldn't find it disrespectful if someone made a play because you should explore options before you settle down. If I was in love with my current relationship then nothing could sway me anyways. What if the person hitting on you is your soulmate? The only time you are strictly off-limits is when you're married! THEN it's disrespectful to be hit on because you're married.

 

If you're so attached to your relationship and find it so disrespectful if someone hits on you than go freaking get married! Dating and exploring is what you do before you get married. If everyone did that maybe the divorce rate would be a lot lower than 50%.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If someone is in a relationship and finds out how someone else feels about them, and breaks it off to be with the new person....what is this, junior high?

 

People are in relationships for a reason. And having a gnat flying around saying "I really like you" is pestering.

Usually people like to have someone else lined up before they break it off, especially those who can't be alone.

by far the WORST people on the planet to be dating.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^Yeah, exactly.

 

If they'd leave someone and need someone to declare interest while in a relationship to do it, need someone to be lined up, then who'd want em anyway?!

 

So there's no point pursuing it. Even if it isn't against your ethics (which it would be, for me, pursuing a person in a relationship) - it just doesn't work. The only thing you could bait with that is the sludge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It would only be pestering and you would only get annoyed if you weren't sure about your current relationship, otherwise it shouldn't bother you. The only time it would be a bother if they KEEP hitting on you and you have already turned them down. A relationship is not a marriage.

 

I would make your feelings known Rob. Just once. If you don't you may have regrets later on. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better getting that out, then you won't have to wonder anymore. You never know what will happen, if she says no then at least you'll know, if she says yes then you can thank me for years to come

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For anything concrete or solid to come between us, she needs to break up with him through a natural course. She's been with him a long time, so ending a relationship with him just to go out with me is no basis for a solid lasting relationship between us, and any decision she makes would be based on emotions rather than any sound reasoning. It would be more like a re-bound I feel.

 

Anyway, I mostly came on to vent. I needed to get it out, since no one else knows how I feel and that in itself is hard.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Beyond horrible. Respect someone's boundaries. Even if they don't make them, in principal be a good person and don't overstep. It shows you have respect for yourself, her and said man.

 

Why would marriage suddenly make your theory taboo? Many are married and remain unhappy/happy. What does a public representation of courtship have to do with this?

 

Lol, tell me you're joking. You'd be okay with someone hitting on your partner knowing that you're in a relationship? Forget not knowing, lol. C'mon.

 

Exploring options is what you do when you're single, if you're unhappy and are in a relationship, you don't keep the other one thinking your happy whilst you 'explore options'.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...