My -mod edit- Up relationship with my fiancee

[ThePinkAngel]

I want to end it! I am so confused at the moment. I am just holding on because of my daughter. Having been engaged for a long time, my fiancee's hobby is snooping on my emails, phones, facebook, google search history even my facebook search history, twitter, instagram and many many more! He explodes when he sees i browsed any guy i used to know when i was in college and highschool. I feel so choked! He quit his job a few days ago and all he does is snooping. He is not earning and yet he is controlling me with my finances. He complains if he ran out of his cereals and if i can't pay the bills for the cable tv for his football games. I am working my ass off just to pay the bills. Though he does look after our daughter well, i don't think i can still go on with him anymore. There's so much more. I am falling out of love.

 

 

 

I am still confused. Heart and mind in battle. What should I do?

[JA0371]

Wow......don't marry this guy! It will get worse!

Can you stay somewhere else? Even temporarily?

[missmarple]

Exactly what you said. End it. You're falling out of love and he's being controlling and whiny. I don't see why your heart and mind are in battle..both emotionally and logically, the guy seems like bad news. If you break up with him, it doesn't mean he'll stop caring about your daughter...who, by the way, deserves to be raised in a better environment.

[SpottiOtti]

Yeah, I think you answered your own question . . . What's really holding you back here? Is it that you think you're selfish for wanting to take your daughter out of her father's home? You're not - in fact, by leaving you're teaching her how not to let men treat her, and also that sometimes we have to be strong and do things that are difficult both emotionally and financially in order to do what's best for us - you'll be teaching her how to stand up for herself and respect herself.

[ThePinkAngel]

somehow a little part of me is hoping that he will change. A part of me still thinks that how he used to be will come back. Also, my daughter adores him. I can't break her heart. I don't know how she will cope without her dad. I am scared that it will affect her when she grows up.

[offplanet]

He won't change, it would only get worse. It's not healthy. Your daughter can still have her relationship with him if you live apart.

[agent1607307371]

I am scared that it will affect her when she grows up.

 

Think about how the relationship between her parents will affect her as she grows up then. Do you want her in a situation like this? Because this is what she's learning is normal and right.

 

She can have a relationship with her Dad without you suffering for it.

[Snny]

Fiance = male engaged person

Fiancee = female engaged person.

 

He quit his job a few days ago and all he does is snooping. He is not earning and yet he is controlling me with my finances. He complains if he ran out of his cereals and if i can't pay the bills for the cable tv for his football games.

He voluntarily drops his job, and instead of looking for another job he spies on you? That is grounds for canceling all marriage plans. It won't get better, I promise. Sorry to hear.

[lavenderdove]

Ugh. Just ugh... there is nothing in it for you with this situation. He's turned into dead weight demanding that you support him while he treats you badly.

 

Time to give him the boot... He's not acting like he loves you, let alone even likes you. You're just his meal ticket and puppet to control.

 

Don't support him for too long while he doesn't work and takes care of your child. Otherwise he could argue that he is and has been the primary parent and he should get primary custody while you should pay him child support.

[ThePinkAngel]

Thanks for all your replies. Another complication is that his family is getting involved. They baby him so much. Right now I am staying on my friend's house with my daughter. Just for a couple of days then will find other solution.

[regular joe]

Keep walking and don't look back. You will never be happy in this relationship. As time goes by it will only get worse. Split up. If he is a man he will support and be there for his daughter no matter what and you can go find some happiness. trust me as someone who has been there. You hold on hoping they will change, they DON"T. The only one who will change will be you. You will bend until you break trying to make it work. I was in a similar situation, to the point where I dreaded going home after work. Finally, I decided it was their turn to compromise and when they were unable too. I finally ended it and found myself to much happier.

[ThePinkAngel]

Keep walking and don't look back. You will never be happy in this relationship. As time goes by it will only get worse. Split up. If he is a man he will support and be there for his daughter no matter what and you can go find some happiness. trust me as someone who has been there. You hold on hoping they will change, they DON"T. The only one who will change will be you. You will bend until you break trying to make it work. I was in a similar situation, to the point where I dreaded going home after work. Finally, I decided it was their turn to compromise and when they were unable too. I finally ended it and found myself to much happier.

 

 

Thank you very much. I am looking for an answer from someone who has been in my situation. You talk like as if you can feel right through me. I have to be strong.

[regular joe]

That's because like I said i have been where you are. I finally ended my "bad" situation and even though it took some time, I finally found a good relationship.

[ThePinkAngel]

That's because like I said i have been where you are. I finally ended my "bad" situation and even though it took some time, I finally found a good relationship.

 

 

Thanks again. goodluck to me and best wishes to you.