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I feel like its high school


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Hi,

 

So I've been working at this department store for a few years. It's only until I finish college, but I may stay a bit longer since I may do a masters in engineering. So it's a good job nonetheless, but one thing I'm not fond of is the social atmosphere. I've only made one or two friends over the years there, and I always get a feeling that I "don't fit in". It's hard to explain, but I don't connect well with many people there. Part of me I don't care, I have a big social life outside of work, and go to school, and it's only temporary that I'm working there. But I find the people there very gossipy, judgemental for no reason, very high school like, like the other day I was taking the time to help a customer find a product, and I heard a co worker later on in the afternoon gossip and complain about me to another co worker how I was taking to long, that I should have been helping her instead on the computer etc etc. the customer comes first from what I've learnt. I was only working with her for 30 min, we barely know each other. Overall I just feel like I don't fit in. It's hard to explain. I don't understand why, maybe I'm quiet at times, that's all I could think of, but I'm myself and I am a friendly person. I feel drained when I get out of there at the end of a shift.

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Once you complete your education you will find a huge difference in the work atmosphere because you will be working with professional people. In the meantime you will just need to grin and bear it, I am afraid. At least you will have something to look forward to, while your present coworkers are stuck in a high school mentality. ....chi

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Of course you don't fit in--you've got potential they don't own, and they dislike you for that.

 

You may want to consider temping, interning or otherwise finding employment in a professional environment, such as a consulting firm, where your peers will respect your schooling and goals because they've earned their own.

 

Otherwise, adopt the compassion and tolerance that will enable you to rise above the sandbox. Your coworkers live in that place, they're not fond of tourists, and there's not much you can do about that except adopt a 'stupid and cheerful' perception. Stupid, meaning you don't 'get' any insult--so it never occurs to you, registers with you or touches you, and cheerful, because what's not to be cheerful about when you're just doing your job and enjoying mental freedom from the fray?

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Thank you both for your responses.

 

Yes, I agree cat feeder, having a mindset that is going above the sandbox is the way to go. But for the most part it is going well and I tell myself how I'm there for the money during school At least I'm only there a little bit out of the week.

 

But I know its irrational to be thinking this way, but I find myself at times feeling insecure, it's like this feeling of an an outsider at work has been following me around outside of work. This weekend especially, it's like I don't know what it is why I don't fit in at work. I don't care mostly, but at times this irrational feeling follows me. I over analyse, and I feel the way I felt in high school when I'm at work, withdrawn, isolated, and keep to myself, and I don't fit in. Outside of work it's wonderful however. It's a great student job though, a lot of people want to work there but boy is the social atmosphere not fun for me.

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it's like I don't know what it is why I don't fit in at work. I don't care mostly, but at times this irrational feeling follows me.

 

I think I covered this directly, and you KNOW exactly why you don't fit in. It's not a mystery, so why are you pretending that it is--just to mind-f yourself?

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I'm going to disagree with chitown, unfortunately, even once you're in a professional setting it still feels like high school. Here's the thing, you're a female, therefore buckle in because you're going to be dealing with this BS for a looooong, long time. Some girls, actually most girls, can be catty and judgmental and petty and jealous human beings which is probably what you're experiencing. Sadly, i work with 30-50 year old women who sit around in an office and just gossip and talk about one another behind their backs. Someone is always whispering about something. And if you have something to offer in life- if you're good looking, if you have ambition, if you have a future going for you- anything that these people will be jealous and bitter over, then you're a target. When i first started working in this sales position, a lot of the women were intimidated because i was young and attractive and it just didn't sit well with them. Most of these women are trying hard to hold on to their youth.

 

It's ridiculous that people will ever and should ever act this way. Here's my advice when it comes to the workplace, whether you're working in a department store or an office or whatever you're doing- just put your head down and do your job. Be friendly, but don't go out of your way to make friends. Don't gossip and get caught up in the drama. Be you, do your job the best you can, and forget the rest. Honestly, these people are probably people who have no direction in life so they're bitter that one day you'll be on to bigger and better things while they're stuck there. Don't worry about them. Be thankful that YOU aren't a petty, immature, catty female because that is something to value in life!

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