Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I am so lonely during the weekends. Even on this board, I don't see a lot of traffic. I must be in a pretty bad state in order to post here on a Saturday.

 

I don't have any plans. All of my friends are online dating and busy with their new dates. I am working, at the same time checking out ENA.

 

I exercised this morning, went to the steam room, went to breakfast. What else is there to do lol.

 

I have so much time to myself. I remember every weekend with him was busy, we always did things together. We were never separated, and if we were, I would miss him so bad.

 

I can't believe the time alone, it's so lonely!

 

I hope this feeling of being lonely goes away. I mean I used to be alone on the weekends, and I was just fine. In fact, there were some weekends where I didn't even want to go out and do anything when I first met him. I was more into my life than was more into him.

 

What happened to me lol. Hopefully these thoughts will go away.

 

How is everyone dealing with the weekends? Did you guys force yourself to go out and do something? What happens if all of your friends are busy? As for me, regular routine, exercise, steam room, and now working...But...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was at my lowest point and i felt lonely, insecure, and bad about myself, I began volunteering. I just went on volunteer match, signed up for a bunch of activities, signed up for different 5k and mud runs and found hobbies. Giving back to my community and seeing how other people live and broadening my horizon outside of my work life really helped me feel comfortable and fill my schedule. I think that's usually the hardest part about getting out of a relationship, that person was a huge part of your schedule, they might of been the first person you called to tell something stupid or mundane that happened during the day. Joining these activities and doing it by myself helped me become more comfortable with who I was and it also helped me with the need to have someone there. Of course, there are times that you might feel lonely and bored...but you won't die. Also, I wouldn't recommend this until you feel comfortable with yourself and feel like your ready or even want this, but I just downloaded the app Tinder and it's a lot fun...its really superficial but you can meet some really cool (and uncool) people on it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ugh I know how you feel...all my friends are in relationships so weekends suck for me too!!

I guess I do the same as you during the day..work and exercise.

Last night (Saturday night) I:

Had a long bubble bath

Did a face mask

Watched some episodes of TV shows I like

Read some of my book and then decided at 10 I was going to go to sleep.

I guess just do things for you..or things you enjoy and I try not to think about what other people are doing.

I don't know if that's helpful! Sorry but I can definitely sympathise xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last night was the loneliest night I've felt in about 4 years. I'm fresh out of a relationship so I UNDERSTAND how you feel. I was the EXACT same way with my ex. You always would have something going on. But that person is gone.... so now what? I've always been a "on my own" person. But when you're in a relationship, you combine with another person. They become a part of your schedule.

 

You know what I did last night? I got in my car a drove. I drove with no destination. Driving at night has always been soothing to me. It allows me to release stress and clear my mind.

 

If you need someone to talk to, please just message me. We can talk as much as you want. I know that lonely feeling too well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm working this weekend but late nights are tough for me. I make a point of getting out every evening to do something - I am at work 3 evenings a week but on the other nights I get out to the gym, shop, meet with friends, eat out, do anything but I FORCE myself to get out of the house for at least an hour every night of the week. I live in a warmer climate so I can go outside almost everyday too which helps but I know that isn't possible for many during winter. I also am trying new nail art/polish ideas (just tried some for baseball this week) and have poured some new interest into that (I've had 6 different nail polish/designs on this week alone......) but I am moving forward!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not at my lowest point at all , but seems the last 6 months, I have been sitting here all by myself every weekend. Back when I had a GF(ended last fall) one of my kids were always here. Now my oldest has moved out and my 15yr is gone from Friday-Sun sleeping at friends and stuff. So now I sit and do nothing every weekend night. I used to be an online dating master but I cant get anything off there anymore

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think some alone time is good for healing. Read some books. Watch some Netflix. How about spending time with family? Do you have some friends that are out of town that you could go visit for the weekend? A change of scenery is always good post breakup. Bake cookies for your coworkers? Go shopping? Walk around a grocery store?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think some alone time is good for healing. Read some books. Watch some Netflix. How about spending time with family? Do you have some friends that are out of town that you could go visit for the weekend? A change of scenery is always good post breakup. Bake cookies for your coworkers? Go shopping? Walk around a grocery store?

 

Perfect idea! I am.going to bake or make something for my coworkers next week! Love the idea!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm in a relationship and I have nights like this. Alone all day I went to yoga, did an aerobics class, showered, baked muffins, had dinner, watched too much TV, enjoyed a couple hours on pinterest...i'm going to go to bed soon i think. i should have gone out at least to a coffee shop or something...i also regret baking because that just lead to bored eating. We all have days like this...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I made brownies and brought them into work a few weeks ago. It made me go to that store, walk around, do grocery shopping and then spend a few hrs whipping it up and cleaning up. Coworkers really appreciated it and loved it! I Aldo recommend catching up with old friends or visiting people out of town. How about joining meetup groups with similar interests hiking, etc. Or even happy hour networking events.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I forced myself to go out last night and I feel like it was an emotional disaster for me. At the time, it was ok. I met an old friend and he bought me a drink and we are supposed to go out for dinner sometime, but I don't feel any type of dating interest at all. This weekend has been awful for me in that way. I've convinced myself that I'll always feel this terrible and that I'll always miss my ex so much that even something positive like last night has today turned into a fair amount of turmoil. I know it's only been 6 weeks and it's still rather fresh, but I was hoping I would be further progressed than this. I've never hurt like this before. I know there is no antidote except for time. I'm just exhausted with it all so much. Why can't I snap out of this? Probably because I'm sure he's out spending time with someone who in my heart thinks should still be me and it's not and never will be anymore. Today I feel like "please just let me function enough to make it through the day". I'm on auto pilot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How ironic, I was just thinking about this today.

 

The past 2 weekends have been a little harder to be alone than previous ones. I'm just about 5 months out from my break up.

 

While doing everything people have recommended to help cope with being alone and moving on: exercising, spending time with friends, keeping busy, start new projects, etc, etc - is all fine and it helps temporarily, sometimes I just don't feel like doing anything on the weekend or whenever.

 

But the side effect of that is, I feel lonely and then I start to think about my ex.

 

I can only speak for myself, but I cannot keep myself busy 24/7. It can be tiring just to keep distracting my thoughts and to "work on myself".

 

Overall, I feel better and I have moved on quite a bit, but I have not completely let go and moved on. I'm almost there, but like the OP, the weekends can still be tough and I think this is the most difficult part of healing that I am dealing with at the moment. I also know progress with healing is not linear and consists of peaks and valleys. I seem to be in a valley again.

 

Also, I just want to mention, spending time with friends on the weekends is a lot easier said than done. I'm in my late 30s and all my friends are in LTRs or married. Or the rest of them who are single are busy, unavailable, or live too far to hang out. I've tried many times to schedule something to with any of them on the weekends but it's difficult because they usually have plans. It works out every once in a while.

 

At any rate, I still have some trouble with the weekends but I am hoping that when the weather gets warmer, I will go out by myself more.

 

But man, do I really miss spending time with someone I love on the weekend. Even if it's just chilling at home and watching movies. One of my favorite things I did with my ex was just laying in bed with her just talking about anything. I felt so relaxed and close to her. Oh well, those times are gone but I can't help miss those times. There's nothing that I can do alone what will make me feel something similar to that, and that's one of the hardest things to cope with or to get used to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am having this same problem. It's only been a month since my BU and I've been spending most of those weekends at my parent's house but sometimes that makes me feel just as lonely if not lonelier. Even there, I would go to a coffee shop and spend all day there reading books. I helped a friend that was moving pack last weekend but the hardest thing is filling up 24 hours in a day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am having this same problem. It's only been a month since my BU and I've been spending most of those weekends at my parent's house but sometimes that makes me feel just as lonely if not lonelier. Even there, I would go to a coffee shop and spend all day there reading books. I helped a friend that was moving pack last weekend but the hardest thing is filling up 24 hours in a day.

 

Same thing, spend a lot of time at parents' house. Sometimes feel lonely sometimes feel occupied, overall, the experience with your special someone is much better.

 

Has anyone here tried online dating? That's what my ex did, two weeks after the breakup. Holy cow, he moved on really fast. I'm sure he found someone right away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know exactly how all of you guys feel. The loneliness is definitely more apparent on weekends...even more so for me because my roommate usually goes home on weekends.

 

My usual weekend day is wake up, have breakfast and watch some tv, head to the gym, shower, run errands (laundry, cleaners, food shopping, etc.), watch some more tv/Netflix...and then hopefully see someone that night. If not, I'll head over to my family's place and hang out with them. It is hard to fill all of your time and to keep "working on yourself."

 

I too miss simply spending hours in our local coffee shop with my ex with our laptops doing homework for our graduate programs...at the time I hated all the work...but just spending time with each other was nice. It's something I didn't realize until after the fact. I guess you really don't know what you've got til it's gone...lol...

 

Anyway, my point was, you guys aren't alone

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP you are not alone. Weekends are hard, especially when I wake up and go oh right he's still not going to take back the breakup. Breaking the habit's tough.

I think some alone time is good for healing. Read some books. Watch some Netflix. How about spending time with family? Do you have some friends that are out of town that you could go visit for the weekend? A change of scenery is always good post breakup. Bake cookies for your coworkers? Go shopping? Walk around a grocery store?

True. When I feel lonely I usually go out with friends. But I also try to confront my loneliness by myself. It's hard because all the emotions come out but it's also liberating when I get through the day and I have fun alone. Nothibg huge for activities. I am fine with reading books, watching a series, taking a long bath and smelling the bath soap, or eating really good food.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...