dirtchewer Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 I'm not sure where I should post this so if this is the wrong section just let me know. I feel extremely needy/obsessive(?) and I don't know how to deal with it. I guess I've struggled with it for a while now but I just recently identified it. When I get attached to someone that person is all I can think about and I get upset very easy when I can't talk or be with that person even for a short period of time. I end up texting the person a ton or asking my friends about them just to have them message me later with a perfectly legitimate reason for their absence. No matter how hard I try to put it aside, it always overpowers me. I try to occupy myself with something else like one of my hobbies or hanging out with my buddies, but I'm never able to focus on it or be satisfied doing it. Its miserable. I don't think its an issue of insecurity or stalking, because its all totally sincere. I just enjoy being with someone more than anything else and when I can't its like I just shut down. I kinda feel like a dependent puppy and I know its not healthy. So I'm just wondering if any of you feel similar or have had the same issue and can help me. Any input is appreciated. Thanks guys. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 You are codependent. It is 100% based on insecurity and low self esteem. Research it on the internet, read books on it. It will not go away on its own...and being in a relationship makes it worse. It you don't fix it....you will never know a healthy relationship. If it is as bad as you say...you might need therapy to get to the root of it. Link to comment
dirtchewer Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 Woa o.o I didn't think it was that serious. I hope I didn't exaggerate inadvertently. It could be a subconscious thing then because I've never struggled with self esteem. And you mentioned doing research on it, is codependency the keyword to use? Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Yup...there are some very good books. Link to comment
dirtchewer Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 Ok. The way you're talking about it makes it seem like something very bad, is it really that serious? I thought that I was just getting too attached in relationships, I had no idea this had a name. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Well...yes. It has a name and it is an unhealthy behavior. You allow relationships to become your whole life/focus...which in the very beginning potential partners find flattering. Except with you it progresses...until it is suffocating to them. Search it on this site....clinginess, codependency...and the posters are just like you. And they are here...heartbroken that the object of their desire and affection has dumped them. Link to comment
dirtchewer Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 I just did some research and that sounds exactly like me thanks for the help Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Identifying the problem is the first step in solving it! Good luck. Link to comment
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