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Feeling depressed because friend pushed me to get a date


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My friend again pushed me to see her today with the new guy she's dating if I have a date. She expected me to get a date on pof or link removed by now.

 

I feel sad because not only I don't have a date by joining an online dating website like my friend suggested, but my friend is upset at me for not doing anything about moving on and just stay single.

 

I don't have the motivation to start a profile and meet new people at the moment, ok maybe I do, but will probabaly be thinking about my ex the whole time while going on these dates.

 

Sorry, I know I posted this before, but just want to vent, get it out, so I can move forward with my day.

 

I mean maybe I have to push myself to date? Its like pushing myself to exercise to heal? Maybe my friend is right?

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I wouldnt care what my friend thinks I should or shouldnt be doing after a break up. You know you best and if your not ready to date again, its fair to the people who are going on these dates with you and its not fair to yourself. Keep strong and keep doing whats going to make you happy - you'll start dating again when your ready too

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Your friend means well, I'm sure, but it's not her life -- it's yours.

 

If you are not ready to date, DON'T. You don't have to explain it or justify it to anyone. Often, people feel "ready" to date after a breakup, but it's more a case of wanting to jump into something new to forget about the old and "move on." Usually, this isn't the best bath to take.

 

It's OK to be single. It's OK to be OK with not dating for awhile. If your friend keeps pressuring you, simply say, "I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I think it is best for me if I don't date for a bit. When I feel ready, though, and I've found someone I like, we can set up a double date." Then, if she keeps pressing it, remind her that you're not ready and that you will let her know when you are.

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I think it speaks volumes to your maturity knowing you're not prepared to date yet, a lot of people are afraid of being single but i personally think its great that you know a relationship is "dangerous" for you right now because you wouldn't be all there.

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Thanks all, my my friends think that this is the only way to get over the ex is to find someone new.

 

I sometimes debate back and forth whether they are right or not. They are both 32 and 34, and just recently finalized a divorce and the other one was engaged but broken couple months ago. Both took the route of meeting someone new right away, and are now happy, in their honeymoon stage.

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Your friend either means well or is a complete biatch & is using your poor, single girl status to make herself feel superior.

However, I think a lot of the time what you don't want to do is what you SHOULD be doing & it's a lot easier for a friend to push you because they're not experiencing what you are.

The easy thing to do is not date, but maybe she sees things you don't.

You brought up exercise so I gotta wonder if you're er... Not letting yourself go & your friend is trying to motivate you.

That being said, do what you want.

I don't think it'd be abad idea to humour her & date.

You don't have to be invested in dating, but if she's genuinely concerned for you she wants to help you.

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Thanks all, my my friends think that this is the only way to get over the ex is to find someone new.

 

Its not the only way but it sure helps.

 

What do you have to lose?

 

link removed isn't cheap and you said you already joined, so if you have a paid membership you might as well throw a few pictures and a description up there and start fielding a few messages.

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Its not the only way but it sure helps.

 

What do you have to lose?

 

link removed isn't cheap and you said you already joined, so if you have a paid membership you might as well throw a few pictures and a description up there and start fielding a few messages.

 

oh no I have not joined any dating site. I don't think I am motivated to date yet, I will just compare every guy I see to the ex. I am not sure if this is a good thing to do.

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oh no I have not joined any dating site. I don't think I am motivated to date yet, I will just compare every guy I see to the ex. I am not sure if this is a good thing to do.

 

don't bother, why waste your own time. I am going through the same thing... I am okay to MEET people, but I don't want to "date." I don't want to be comparing and also having to deal with other people's expectations.

 

You're doing great by listening to yourself, and continue to do so. I know the feeling you have...it's not a feeling of sadness but you just don't feel like opening yourself up 100% to be getting to know everything about a person and that feeling also means you may miss out on great qualities of a person since you're not ready to accept them yet.

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But your friend is not the one who's healing and everyone gets over a breakup in their own time and way. Tell your friend you'll date again when you're ready to date again. In fact, I think you taking some time off of that is the healthier response than someone who hurls themselves into dating after a breakup just because they can't be alone or don't want to take the time to step back, reassess things and really move on. Go at your own pace, don't let others pressure you, you aren't your friend, you're you. Do what feels right to you.

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Your friends are just trying to "fix the problem". Try to remember that their intentions are good, even if their execution stinks. They've probably been watching you suffer through the end of this relationship for the past 6+ months and so are probably eager to get you moving on -- and want to keep you from getting back together with your ex for a third time.

 

Not to justify their pushing you to date immediately. But if you understand that their motives are coming from a GOOD PLACE, it might make it easier to feel less pressured by them.

 

You will start dating eventually, and when you do your friends will be there to support you. Why not focus on that for now? Your friends aren't perfect, they're biased and have an agenda for you. But it comes from a place of love. If you want selfless, unbiased support in the meantime, you've got your therapist there to help you through.

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