Atrractive but unemployed

[savignon]

I wouldn't date someone who was unemployed. Different situation if we were dating and they lost their job.

OP is definitely hiding something or would have explained the circumstances to get better answers.

[kim1]

What if the person is unemployed and wealthy or coming into a big trust fund or inheritance?

 

I personally do not get involved with people - employed or not - in am unstable financial situation.

[mhowe]

He already said small(legal) income.

Which sounds like unemployment benefits.

[Lorem Ipsum]

You don't even have to spend money to spend time with a significant other, although you would have to find a significant other who was ok with money not being spent on them very often. You could just hang out and watch tv or a movie at home, go for a walk, etc.

And there's the crux of the matter, there is no "yes" or "no" answer to this, because it depends entirely on the woman involved. An older woman who is more established/has a job probably wouldn't date someone who was unemployed... but a younger woman who is more bohemian/from a non-wealthy background might. It depends on the expectations of the person the unemployed man is thinking of asking out on a date. It depends on how hard he's actively seeking work. So the answer is: it depends.

[Hazyillusions]

What if the person is unemployed and wealthy or coming into a big trust fund or inheritance?

 

I like ambition and drive. Somebody who mooches off their parents money or uses their inheritance and doesn't bother to find a normal job is too much of a turn off.

One does not need to be earning 80+k a year, they just need to show they're trying.

I need to respect and admire my partner. If they are unemployed and have been awhile....Uh no. If they're jobless cos they were born with a silver spoon, it would be =/...A no go.

You would want somebody who contributes to society in some way, somebody who has some sort of purpose. Looks and personality can't outweigh that side completely unfortunately.

[Tearsbegone]

Would you date me?

 

I'm currently dealing with major health issues and cannot work. Due to this I have to live at home with my parents. Once I recover I hope to find work and move out asap. I have always taken care of myself and been out of the house since 18. Thoughts?

[Capricorn3]

OP: We are all still waiting for you to answer the unanswered questions.

[Natasha24]

Would you date me?

 

I'm currently dealing with major health issues and cannot work. Due to this I have to live at home with my parents. Once I recover I hope to find work and move out asap. I have always taken care of myself and been out of the house since 18. Thoughts?

 

It depends on what the health condition is.

I know people like to stay as anonymous as possible when asking these kinds of questions, but that's the truth. I wouldn't date someone in your situation unless I knew (or at least had an idea of) the health condition. Some people use a broken toe as enough of an excuse not to work. I'm not saying that's what you're doing - I'm just saying that's what I'm trying to avoid, and why I would need to know more details before dating him.

[pl3asehelp]

I dont think someone should stay single if they are unemployed. Someone who works a 40 hour week still has time for dating so why shouldnt someone seeking employment have time? Realistically youre not going to be actively looking for work for more than 40 hours a week. Fair enough if you dont have money to date but some people might have saved plenty from their last job...

 

Being unemployed is a difficult time for most people and I dont see why they should add to an already miserable situation by stopping themself from potentially meeting someone to have fun with. Life is way too short.

 

Lots of people also work 80 hours a week because their situation demands it. I'd consider unemployment one of these situations. If someone did not see it the same way, well, that's too big of a gap in values for me.

[annie24]

I recently became unemployed. I'm spending a lot of time finding a new job though not 80 hrs a week. I went to a birthday party recently where i met someone with ties to the industry where I work. I have her my resume which She forwarded to HR. Networking is very important and can happen when you least expect it. Especially nowadays when hiring managers get 100+ applications, having a connection is important.

 

in addition, going out with friends for coffee or drinks has been really important to my self esteem and mental health. Spending time with my boyfriend has helped me too. He actually just became unemployed himself so I guess we are in this together. Sigh. I may have a new job lined up soon, fingers crossed!

[IAmFCA]

I think I actually dated this guy. As if there were only one.

 

This guy could be - COULD but ISNT - the perfect bf. He is accomplished, smart, smoking hot, works out daily, has enough cash to travel monthly, owns some assets, has a resume that can be confirmed in third party sources.

 

No job.

 

Conclusion? Chaos. Unless the person is demonstrating a pattern of straight-up good character and reliability in every other aspect of his life, I would say there is something lurking beneath the veneer. Instability of some sort.

[Tearsbegone]

It depends on what the health condition is.

I know people like to stay as anonymous as possible when asking these kinds of questions, but that's the truth. I wouldn't date someone in your situation unless I knew (or at least had an idea of) the health condition. Some people use a broken toe as enough of an excuse not to work. I'm not saying that's what you're doing - I'm just saying that's what I'm trying to avoid, and why I would need to know more details before dating him.

 

Really? Depends on the health condition? Sounds harsh. I've battled anxiety for 8 years now. Have been legally disabled because of it. Chronic fatigue and migraines made it so I couldn't work from home. Now I am having horrible endocrine issues, endometriosis (the pain is horrific), something is wrong with my bladder and gastro tract. I worked my ass off with the anxiety- never stopped working. I can guarantee that it is a hard job than a regular "job". If I knew someone like that I would want them in my life because it shows true strength. It's not too hard to go to a job every day but it is to deal with your mind and try everything to heal. As for the physical it's hard with no money or insurance but I have been recently diagnosed and am trying everything I can do get well.

 

To me this does not make me an undesirable candidate. In fact it makes me more desirable. I work hard but just cause it's not at a regular job doesn't mean I'm not equal. As for the OP I don't know about their situation.

[superfan]

I know how you feel with the migraines. Invisible illnesses are the worst because to the rest of the world it looks as if there is nothing wrong with you. It is SO hard to try to explain to people that you have a legitimate illness when you might seem fine one day and unable to function the next at the drop of a hat.

 

I wouldn't write someone off because of an illness OR unemployment again provided they were seriously looking for work or a way to make money to support themselves.

[Tearsbegone]

I know how you feel with the migraines. Invisible illnesses are the worst because to the rest of the world it looks as if there is nothing wrong with you. It is SO hard to try to explain to people that you have a legitimate illness when you might seem fine one day and unable to function the next at the drop of a hat.

 

I wouldn't write someone off because of an illness OR unemployment again provided they were seriously looking for work or a way to make money to support themselves.

 

Some of us simply can't work. We need time and treatment to let our bodies heal. I wouldn't worry so much about whether the person was looking to work, but whether they were working towards getting healthy. That's all that would matter to me- especially with these invisible illnesses. No one really understands until they go through it and some of the best people I know suffer. I would never write someone off because life threw something at them and it was not their fault. I found many of the responses on here somewhat harsh. But again, I have no clue about the OP's situation. As long as someone is trying to be well- that is all I care about. We don't get to pick or choose what happens to us health wise.

[SilverFactory]

meh nevermind

[Tearsbegone]

I would never treat a man like that. I think it's not fair to generalize. I don't look to a man for money- that has nothing to do with love in my book. I don't need to be taken care of and I like to be more educated.

[SilverFactory]

I would never treat a man like that. I think it's not fair to generalize. I don't look to a man for money- that has nothing to do with love in my book. I don't need to be taken care of and I like to be more educated.

 

So would you be willing to date a man that does not have a job and also take care of him?

[Tearsbegone]

So would you be willing to date a man that does not have a job and also take care of him?

 

I've done it!

[SilverFactory]

I've done it!

 

That is really nice to hear. But to be honest I think you are in the rare category.

[Tearsbegone]

That is really nice to hear. But to be honest I think you are in the rare category.

 

Keep in mind he was either going back to school or looking for a job. If someone didnt have a health or family related type reason and were not looking for a job that could be a problem for me. I don't judge someone's worth on their job or how much money they make. We all go through hard times and sometimes we get burnt out and need a break. I am understanding to that because I have been there. Again if it's something that is not within ones control then why would that make a difference? What matters is someone who is willing to work hard and try. I'd take that any day over superficial stuff

[Natasha24]

If you read my whole post, you would see that it said because some people use something as simple as a broken toe as a reason for not having to work. Yes, in that case, their unemployment would matter to me. Ie: If you work in an office, and you're sitting all day, then you break your toe and use that as an excuse not to work for 2 months (assuming there's nothing more to it than that) - I would not date you. I think that's pretty reasonable.

 

Who said anything about mental issues? I actually have depression and anxiety for which I had to take a short time off work, so please don't try to put words in my mouth. Read the entire post next time before freaking out.

[IAmFCA]

Plenty of women will support their man while he pursues an education, a new business, recovery. It happens frequently. If starting from scratch, the man sells her on his dream, his charm, and if he is in it for the long haul, his character. Once she buys off on the future, he's got her. Men sell women on their dreams all the time. Its a woman's job to evaluate the man based on who is now, and if who is now is a man in motion, then she will likely stick around to see what develops.

 

Over time, it becomes clear if he is for real or just playing around.

[IAmFCA]

Adding the inverse: The employed man will sometimes sell himself as a source of the good life. A woman who chooses him for the good life is just as likely to get burned as the woman who ignores the jobless man. The OP's question painted a picture of an attractive athletic - or at least good shape - man. Whoever chooses that man is interested in more than just a meal ticket.

 

One trait does not a person make. Having a job could be about a moment in time, rather than a lack of process.

[enzarto]

I'm not jobless but I was very bad with my money and bad at keeping jobs. It was a reason why some amazing people walked away. I was also very lazy. I found that people drew to me not because I had a job, but because I enjoyed it and kept it. Even employed highly educated people keep their jobs but hate their lives.

 

 

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