Atrractive but unemployed

[Ms Darcy]

At this point in my life I wouldn't date someone unemployed. It's one thing if we were already together and he lost his job...I would stick by him until he got a new one. But if someone is already unemployed, I think they should first find a job and then look for a girlfriend.

 

I agree. I was unemployed for a year anddating was the last thing on my mind. I was focused on finding a job (interviews, sending out resumes, etc) and staying healthy to avoid feeling depressed/disspirited (eating healthy food, exercising, positive affirmations, yoga).

[Capricorn3]

I'm with pl3asehelp on this one.

 

OP: are you coming back to respond to the members?

[seany82]

After reading the posts here, I realized I probably should have added another caveat to the list...

 

Say you met a guy, he's tall, attractive, physically fit, neat and clean, decent personality, sweet, charming, intelligent, decent size penis, good lover (i.e. attentive, giving, open, etc.). But he has one major flaw. He's unemployed.

 

All this and he has his own source of (legal) income. Though it's not a lot, he doesn't need to mooch off you. Does that change things, or is it the same?

[mhowe]

Then reread the posts that speak to lack of ambition.

[Capricorn3]

All this and he has his own source of (legal) income. Though it's not a lot, he doesn't need to mooch off you. Does that change things, or is it the same?

Still doesn't tell us WHY he is unemployed.

[abitbroken]

I would not go out with someone unemployed who was on a dating site actively looking for dates, but I would consider someone who I met by chance and we hit it off if the conditions were right (he was taking time off, going for training, or had a position that didn't start for a month or was laid off but the factory or wherever was going to bring everyone back in a month or two)

[seany82]

Then reread the posts that speak to lack of ambition.

 

I did, but it was a variety of different opinions. Some of the posts rightly recognized that unemployment didn't automatically exclude ambition.

[mhowe]

The original post didn't mention "looking for work" either.

[itsallgrand]

I would not go out with someone unemployed who was on a dating site actively looking for dates, but I would consider someone who I met by chance and we hit it off if the conditions were right (he was taking time off, going for training, or had a position that didn't start for a month or was laid off but the factory or wherever was going to bring everyone back in a month or two)

 

Ditto.

 

Though a lot of what pleasehelp wrote resonated with me. It's less about are you working right this second; and more about overall values.

[Ms Darcy]

I did, but it was a variety of different opinions. Some of the posts rightly recognized that unemployment didn't automatically exclude ambition.

 

It sounds like you are dodging direct questions asking why you are unemployed and what you are doing about it. (You or someone else).

[mhowe]

It often happens that what OP's leave out of the initial post is more illuminating than what they include.

[louisecar]

I dont think someone should stay single if they are unemployed. Someone who works a 40 hour week still has time for dating so why shouldnt someone seeking employment have time? Realistically youre not going to be actively looking for work for more than 40 hours a week. Fair enough if you dont have money to date but some people might have saved plenty from their last job...

 

Being unemployed is a difficult time for most people and I dont see why they should add to an already miserable situation by stopping themself from potentially meeting someone to have fun with. Life is way too short.

[superfan]

You can date without spending money. Not all dates involve tons of cash out of pocket. Walks, hikes, picnics, etc. There is no reason a person shouldn't try to find someone if they are actively seeking work.

[ParisPaulette]

So why is he unemployed? It's really hard to answer your question without knowing the circumstances.

[blueidealist24]

I get where you are coming from pleasehelp. However, let's say that a person is trying and they are spending 40 hours a week looking for work. They still need time to oh out, decompress, have fun. I recently lost my job, and spending ti

e with supportive people has made things better for me, emotionally and mentally while I job search. I mean it's not the time to go to the opera and steak dinners. But pizza or burgers on a date? Great.

 

Yeah, you can't just job search and spend all your time alone continuously, because then you get so depressed you interview poorly and don't get any jobs anyhow. I know this from personal experience. You don't even have to spend money to spend time with a significant other, although you would have to find a significant other who was ok with money not being spent on them very often. You could just hang out and watch tv or a movie at home, go for a walk, etc.

[blueidealist24]

After reading the posts here, I realized I probably should have added another caveat to the list...

 

 

 

All this and he has his own source of (legal) income. Though it's not a lot, he doesn't need to mooch off you. Does that change things, or is it the same?

 

For me, that definitely makes it better. Then I don't have to worry that he might come to me for handouts (my job doesn't pay much as it is!).

[jannaly]

I would maybe try talking to him about his future job plans and gauge the reaction. Having dated more than one unemployed man i can say from experience that it does NOT get better most of the time. As some of the other posters said, if he isn't actively looking for a job i would be concerned.

[Rosti87]

Without much info from the OP about his specific situation it leaves one to deduce based upon what is not shared. My understanding is that the OP is receiving a small stipend of passive income. Is this public assistance such as disability or some form of social services (SSI?). The avoidance by the OP gives off a sense that the unemployment potentially is long term or maybe indefinite.

[goodheartlady]

I personally do not get involved with people - employed or not - in am unstable financial situation.

[goodheartlady]

Is the OP talking about himself? Why do you refer to yourself in a hypothetical third person voice??

 

If the OP is an unemployed man in question, I suggest that you be straight forward and just own your situation.

[mhowe]

If it isn't the OP I would question how he knows the size of some other guys Johnson!

[missmarple]

If it isn't the OP I would question how he knows the size of some other guys Johnson!

 

How do we know the OP isn't a girl? Or gay?

[ALovingKitten]

This is a question to the women here on this board.

 

Say you met a guy, he's tall, attractive, physically fit, neat and clean, decent personality, sweet, charming, intelligent, decent size penis, good lover (i.e. attentive, giving, open, etc.). But he has one major flaw. He's unemployed.

 

Would you date him?

 

Yes. Dating someone doesn't mean a life partner, if you keep it casual. If he has ambition to find a job, or is looking that is okay but if he sits and smokes pot and plays xbox all day then the dating would be short lived. He could volunteer during his unemployment and that would be a plus.

[mhowe]

How do we know the OP isn't a girl? Or gay?

 

If it is a girl or gay man...then they are already moving down the dating road if the Johnson in question and the lovers technique has already been established!

 

So...it would appear that the REASON for the unemployment remains the crux of the mystery...Miss Marple!

[Zuri]

I've done this long term TWICE when I was in my mid to late 20s. Again very briefly in my late 30s. It just doesn't work because if he stays unemployed you foot any bills to do ANYTHING and then a sense of entitlement develops. In my case, I think that sense of entitlement was already there. The fact he (they) were unemployed drastically affected me financially in the long run. So from experience, I'd say NO.