Should I meet him again? Need your suggestion

[Eads2011]

I have seen this guy for two years. We are still very sweet in early Feb. suddenly he disappeared and there is no mags from him for a while. He likes to update in instagram. I saw an Asian style picture. So I texted him and aske him whether he was in Asia. He replied yes he was on a trip in China. I was surprised he did not tell me. I said enjoy your time to him. He did not message after that.

 

On 2/13, one day before Valentine, I just wanted to get some greeting from him on that special day. I texted him and said how long u will be there. He said he will be back that day. I warned him that there is snow storming coming. On china's valentine morning, he texted me that he did not try to come back otherwise he will hit the snow.

 

The I kept silent. He did not send me anything to me on Valentine's day. I felt something goes wrong. When I checked his Instagram, I found he added a new Chinese girl. That girl was very crazy to comment on every girl on his Instagram who they are or with several ???. It looks hat she is the girlfriend and question her man. I was shocked but also thought that girl was naive.

 

I did not hear from him for several days. I can not help sending him a message again and asked whether he is back. He replied he came back on Monday. He also told me he got flu and very sick now. I said take care then. Yesterday I sent him a message to ask whether he wanted to meet up on this weekend. He said he was very sick and can not speak. I felt upset and sent him a message to ask whether he fell in love with someone during his trip. He replied immediately he met someone in shanghai. Then I asked him what he thought about us and we stayed with friends? He said he can not speak now and he wanted to talk in person.

 

I know the answer is. But I am surprised that he said he did not like long distance relationship and can not live like that. That girl must be magic to change him. And he is a very slow person. I don't know why he wanted to be with her not me. He did not say that. Obviously if I did not ask him about the girl, he will not talk about her with me.

 

I felt shocked and not very good now. Do u think I need to meet him and talk about it? I know we will break up and I don't want to face it and just let it go.

[mhowe]

You have broken up. He isn't your bf any more....and apparently hasn't been for more than a year.

Was this an on line relationship?

[greta96]

All I can see here is that you are the one who initiated all contacts. I think it's obvious he met someone else and he wants to end it with you, so if you don't want to have the conversation and put yourself through that, I suggest you just don't contact him anymore. He doesn't seem to be interested in contacting you, so if you don't message him, he'll probably just go away (and you may hear back from him if things with that girl don't go as well as he hoped, in which case I hope you know to tell him where to go).

[Eads2011]

No, it is not an online relationship. We met two years on a trip. It goes well since then. We started with long distance and then I moved to his city for work.

 

QUOTE=mhowe;5967937]You have broken up. He isn't your bf any more....and apparently hasn't been for more than a year.

Was this an on line relationship?

[mhowe]

He disappears a month ago and doesn't tell you he is gone?

How often did you see each other?

[Eads2011]

Several times a week.

[Eads2011]

I still could not believe what happened in a short time. He is a freelancer. Sometimes his work is slow and he travels a lot the year before. He was more stable last year. My financial situation is much better than his. He wanted to move in with me but I think it is still early to do that.

[mhowe]

I am sorry but I don't see this as a relationship.

He disappears for a month and you don't hear from him.

He never initiates contact.

He ignores you on Valentines day.

He.posts pictures of another woman he met on a trip.

 

Where is the relationship? You haven't seen him in a month and if you didn't text him...you would have not been in contact at all.

[sharky988]

When did he say he wanted to move in with you -- before or after getting together with this new girl?

 

It sounds like he's with someone else. He's not being honest with you about it, which is a dealbreaker right there. He was covering his tracks over Valentine's Day and is likely stalling meeting you for now while he sees how things work out with her.

 

Bottom line: he's treating you like his Plan B. He's a liar and a cheater. I wouldn't be trying to work things out with him at this point -- I'd end it and walk away.

[Eads2011]

He wanted to move in last dec. He even wanted to buy property together with me.

 

I am now lost and could not believe that he claims the loyalty is in his DNA but he changes so quickly. I don't think he will be with that new girl for long. The new girl is not smart and her behavior is stupid to post on public website. And also they are long distance and he hated that unless either of them moves which I don't think it will happen soon.

 

But even if he wants to continue with me, what is the point to continue? He does not care too much about me.

[mbee]

There are a lot of WANTS in your posting and not a lot of action. Sure, he told you he wanted to move in with you and buy property with you but he didn't. He even took it a step further and ignored you for a month, met some other woman and didn't mention it to you until you mentioned it. Yes, you said it yourself... he does not care about you.

 

This is someone who is so immature and cowardly that he decided to ignore you rather than discuss his feelings about things with you. He decided to break up by simply not mentioning it. Best to not contact him and start the process of moving on.