We finally spoke. What next?

[Michael 93]

me and my partner split now just over a month and a half ago.

 

A lot has happened since the split and I have tried to win her back several times. We went into NC and yesterday it was 3 weeks since we had actually spoke.

I went to see a clairvoyant and had a reading. she was pretty much mentioned alot throughout it.

She told me that if you love something so much dont give up on it as love will never fail.

 

I text my partner explaining that I had been to see this lady and that It was crazy. Explained that I hope she is ok and i was thinking about her. She replied within a minute and asked "how did it go" I explained that she was mentioned a lot and it was unbelievable how accurate it was, again she replied within a instant saying " would you like to talk"

 

We spoke on the phone for almost an hour. It was lovely to hear her voice and we discussed everything from the reading to our relationship (good & bad) and what we had both been doing with our time, her social networking, how she had been feeling and how I had been feeling. She explained she missed me and cared about me and thinks about me alot even though I didnt know it she does.She also said "I wish you had experienced our relationship with somebody else first and then we were together because non of this would of happened" She told me she knew that nobody would love her as much as i did. She also jokingly replied that "nobody would put up with me as long as she did" we laughed and had a joke and it sounded like the girl I used to know, it was a really nice conversation and nice to know we could speak about things like adults. She said she loved hearing the sound of my voice and it was nice speaking to me. I told her I wasnt going anywhere and Im not planning on moving on from her anytime soon and that I miss every day she isnt around. the conversation ended well and she added, I shall speak to you soon.

 

I love this girl and do not want to give up just yet. We have come so far after reflecting over a few weeks and when we finally spoke it was nice and felt normal. The conversation was over an hour! She even said she wouldnt be on the phone if she didnt care, which is true I guess.

 

I am trying not to read too much into this at the moment, but knowing she does actually care and think about me is lovely. we work for the same company so it will be hard to forget about each other.

 

How should I play this from here? I dont want to overthink or rush into anything. She knows I am there and still love her. What next?

[sharky988]

She loves you as a person.... she misses your friendship.... she feels bad and wishes things could be different.

 

But what she's NOT saying is: "I made a huge mistake and want to get back together."

 

What do you do next? Nothing. You move on and stop pretending that just because you WANT to get back together, that means it's going to happen. Your ex ended it and she's the one who needs to make a reconciliation happen. You just gave her a chance to do that and what she's telling you is that she hasn't changed her mind and prefers not to be together.

 

IF you can stick to NC, it will get better and in time you'll be able to recover from this breakup and find someone else -- someone better for you who DOES want to be your girlfriend.

 

But that person isn't your ex. She knows you want to get back together.... all this contact is accomplishing is making her miss you LESS and letting her use you as a safety net while she looks for her next boyfriend.

[Michael 93]

Ill give that a go. If she dosent text I may just try and start with something light.

 

I said yesterday I wasnt expecting a text back after you ignored the one on Valentines day. She said "you have no idea how badly I wanted to text you back" I just was informed that wasnt the best thing to do but I did want too".

 

We were even talking about the films TV shows we used to watch. I said turn to channel 21 quick and she got all excited and put it on.

 

I miss her man. Why does love do this lol!!?

[sharky988]

You miss her because you're still in love with her.

 

She misses you as a friend but is no longer *in love* with you. She's happy to be in contact -- even though she knows she SHOULDN'T because it'll only lead you on and give you false hopes.

 

What you're doing is setting yourself up for more pain. You're actually making it EASIER for her to get over you. It's a lose / lose.