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Have you ever asked pointblank, why do you want to remain friends?


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I've had enough of cryptic actions and messages from ex's. Some well meaning, others purely selfish and evil.

Some of my ex's I sincerely want to remain friends with. Others, better remain in the past.

 

But have you ever asked an ex who repeatedly seeks you out..why do you want to remain friends?

Then the endless speculation will end. Much as I do not want to pay attention to it, I have to admit it strikes me at night when I am winding down.

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Yep, and all I ever got back was a lot of hot air and excuses or general statements like, "But you're my best friend" or "I'm finding it hard to let you go..." All while I'd be thinking, "Yeah, but you did let me go, so what's up with now wanting to keep me around?" And when I voiced that out loud I just got more BS.

 

I found that generally if someone dumped me and/or had a large part in the breakup then wanted to keep me around it was to ease their own loneliness and feelings until they got used to being single again. OR that they could have me there as an emotional backup for those times when they got shot down by someone else or by life in general and needed someone around that could remind them they aren't total losers if somebody still wants them--i.e. I was there as an ego booster. Trouble is these same ex/friends were very quick to never be available to me when I needed anything and they were quicker still to disappear when they thought someone or something better had just shown up.

 

So in the end it doesn't really matter what they say, it's their actions that count. And being friends with someone you still have feelings for is just a form of torture and it keeps you from moving on and healing.

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Ironically, my ex wanted to be friends in the period between the holiday season and before his new gf was coming to meet him. So I guess he was just looking to fill his loneliness and alleviate his guilt. Funnily enough, I tried for a day, but it was just us talking about him, never once asked about me.

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