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Getting back with girl I dated for a short time


stayClimbing

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Hey all,

 

I was seeing this one girl (I made a topic about it here) for a little bit, she broke up with me. I was really sad and crappy feeling, eventually through the help of many supportive people here I began to move on (and learn from the experience, an important point to make).

 

Suddenly she contacted me. We went out on Valentines Day and had an absolute blast. We went out last night for dinner. It was a good time, not "great" (as she said the first time) but definitely good. We made tentative plans for next weekend (March 1 weekend) as we are both busy up until then. We hardly ever text each other or communicate with each other unless it's to make plans; this is moreso her calling than mine. I am more of the "I want to just 'check in' to see how you're doing" and she's the type that's like "If I don't have anything important to say, why say it at all." if you guys know what I mean.

 

I explicitly asked her yesterday if we were definitely going to "give this another try" and she said "Yeah, we are gonna try to see if this can work out." The problem, as I correctly surmised, was "too much too soon." This time I'm giving all space and everything like that, but I'm scared that she's gonna just up and leave again. As a result I'm kind of scared to "give myself" with this lingering fear. In addition to this, I sometimes (quite often) feel uncomfortable with silence. I don't know why, but I just talk (sometimes nonsense) to fill the empty space. She's more introverted than I am and thus is ok with silence. This is kind of minor.

 

Oh, and she's taking activity classes for something she enjoys and honestly, this is a major insecurity and problem I have right now... I'm afraid that she'll just meet some dude there and suddenly I'm nothing.. again. It's ridiculous for me to feel this way; I've been keeping myself super busy with a lot of stuff to try to keep her out of my mind, but I'm not sure. I'm really coming here for advice on how to feel, how to act, when to contact her considering her nature, things like that.

 

Last thing: I'm still pretty confident I like her, but I'm really not sure if this is going to work out or go anywhere. I feel like it's ok for me to test the waters with her to see if we have a future. Is this reasonable as well?

 

Thanks for the help guys

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Well how does one deal with insecurity? It's something I'm working on and we even spoke about it last night a little bit.

 

Edit: I was absolutely exhausted last night when we hung out. As a result I was acting kind of weird, she even asked me "Are you ok" a couple of times and I told her "I'm sorry, I'm really tired."

 

Is it a good idea to text an apology or just forget about it?

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There are plenty of ways. Insecurity is a symptom of ones own self esteem. There is counseling, books, self help, confidence courses etc.

 

As for your question about last night. That is very strong proof of your lack of self esteem. You are hyper focusing on a meaningless life moment that every one has, fearing it could cause a loss of the relationship.

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