Quick question: Is this healthy?

[Anonymous22]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 and half months. She is very secure in a way of not letting anyone know we are dating yet. Only people who know of us are her mom, and her sister because she talks about me with them. I haven't really met none of her family yet because she tells me her brothers, and her father are overly protective. As in social medias as well, she doesn't want me putting her out there because she is afraid that word will go around and her friends will let her brother know about us, and as a result will lead to her father knowing of us.

 

So my question is, is this healthy? This is really my first serious relationship. I haven't really been a relationship since middle school and I am now a junior in a community college.

[Gimpyrks]

I dated a guy for about two months before I really let people officially know, but this was due to work and I wanted to make sure if was a "serious" relationship.

 

I wouldn't be so concerned about wondering if you and her relationship is healthy, I would be wondering if her father and brother's relationship with her is healthy. There is a difference between being protective and over bearing. My Uncle is protective but he trusts me not to put up with things but my past boyfriends know that he will back me up no matter what. Do you know by what she means by protective? What kind of behaviour would they show?

[Anonymous22]

I dated a guy for about two months before I really let people officially know, but this was due to work and I wanted to make sure if was a "serious" relationship.

 

I wouldn't be so concerned about wondering if you and her relationship is healthy, I would be wondering if her father and brother's relationship with her is healthy. There is a difference between being protective and over bearing. My Uncle is protective but he trusts me not to put up with things but my past boyfriends know that he will back me up no matter what. Do you know by what she means by protective? What kind of behaviour would they show?

 

I see, I guess her reason is somewhat similar from where you said you wanted to know if the relationship was actually serious, because on her last relationship she got cheated on and he was 6 years or 5 years older than her when she was 16 and he was 21? if I recall..

 

So I'm guessing that's where it comes to play on where the boys of the family are protective of her. Well from what she has told me, she said her father doesn't want to meet a guy she is dating, only a guy who is whiling to marry her I guess he is a jealous father. Her brothers, well she tells me everytime she goes out on clothing that doesn't cover as much get protective of her, but this is due to a hot day.

[pl3asehelp]

I was on the fence until you mentioned she had a 21 year old bf at 16 - I'd take a pass on this one.