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Unsure if this is a date.


junebug123

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So, this is my second time posting in dating forums go easy on me please.

 

This is the story, met this girl on valentines day, we hooked up to say the least . . . I was wondering if anything would become of this, turns out i lost my phone and she ended up texting me about it, 2 days later after finding it we chat via text and she lets me know that i left my hat and necklace at her place. The next day is presidents day, i offered to pick up my stuff but she said she was busy (i guess too soon) and then i offered to take her out on Friday and she made a counter proposal to have me come see her play at a show (she's a singer).

 

She said that even if i didn't come that she would like to see me another time and seemed excited to meet me again. The fact that she bothered texting me, surprised me because i didn't expect this to go anywhere, and i was surprised and excited. There is only 1 problem, i am very insecure and i am fearful that maybe she is just asking me to the show because it is her turf and she can pretty much just give me my stuff and then that will be that.

 

Also. I am wearily that we won't have much time to spend together that night because of the fact that she is performing and that she will be tired and want to head home after the show. I don't know what to do at this point. Furthermore, i am wondering if this is even a date at this point? I know the logical thing would be to just talk to her, but i don't want to screw this up and it has been a while since i have been with a girl.

 

Does she like me and will this go anywhere?

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She sounds interested to me. You are overreading it. If she wasn't interested in you, she'd just drop it off at your place or something like that. She probably wouldn't have even told you that you left your stuff there if she really wasn't interested. Just go to the show and see what happens! Sounds fun. I hope it goes well!

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Yes it is a date...she wants to show off.

No she won't be tired after the show...she will be on a high from it.

Don't over think....be in the moment and enjoy!

 

She sounds interested to me. You are overreading it. If she wasn't interested in you, she'd just drop it off at your place or something like that. She probably wouldn't have even told you that you left your stuff there if she really wasn't interested. Just go to the show and see what happens! Sounds fun. I hope it goes well!

 

Thanks you guys, i guess i am just insecure. It feels good though to have some sort of assurance, maybe i am just jaded from having so many loses than even win sometimes can be perceived as a loss.

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I would not invite some guy I am not interested to a show I will be the main attraction. However I think it will be more telling how the way she treats you after the show though... If she is tired and goes to sleep, ask her if she would like you to take her home. If not, text her and ask if she got home ok. Most women like a guy who can show they care.

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However I think it will be more telling how the way she treats you after the show though... If she is tired and goes to sleep, ask her if she would like you to take her home.

 

Yeah, i was thinking of this. But i like her and i don't want to push her away by being needy, not sure if this makes sense.

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Go to the show...and see what happens!

 

Ultimately, all my fears were experienced. After she plays she admits to me that she has to socialize with many of the band mates and other friends she invited, she had to get people to sign the mailing list, etc. etc. Why she invited me to do this was behind me, i think her expectations were give me the hat and necklace and then talk for a few if that at all. Also, she forgets my stuff and explains that she had such a hard week and didn't expect me to show up at all. Furthermore she had difficulty making eye contact with me which i found was weird and she explained that she felt pressured into having sex with me again since we had already done it.

 

There wasn't much good to take away from this, she said that we should meet again but when she went through her phone she seemed busy the entire week. Also, she said that she felt like i was acting like we were a couple but she only wanted to date and had more meaningful emotional connections with people so it was okay not to be in a relationship. She also said that she wanted to "slow down".

 

Upon seeing her she gave me kisses only on the cheek but after i asked her for a kiss she started opening up a little bit. She told me that she was attracted to me, but she doesn't know me. She held my hand and we cuddled a little bit, i think she likes me but maybe she is just a little bit jaded from guys just trying to have sex with her and i think maybe she is sort of set in her a ways a little bit. I can only imagine if this is suppose to be the honey phase of the dating and there are all these road blocks if it is worth it to continue.

 

I am not sure if i should have texted her during the week and asked how her day was and tried to keep up some sort of contact with her. I think this is where i went wrong, or maybe it wouldn't have mattered. Also, i think she is shy but that could just be me being naive and i am very bad at reading women in general. We are suppose to chat today about planning a future date but the other problem is that she is a bartender and i work during the day so are schedules are like night and day. I really like this girl but she isn't exactly moving at a pace i am used to and it seems like i have to compete with other other guys (something which i also don't like).

 

Most of my relationships have been just dating right off the start, none of this we date and they date as well and if we don't find anyone better we stick to each other.

 

Thoughts opinions.

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There will be enough women who will reject you. Stop rejecting yourself before you give them a chance to decide whether if they are going to reject you. Or put another way. Your rejection rate is going to be %100 if you reject yourself. Didn't work out this time, but it's better you went through with it. Now you know, and you've grown with this experience.

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