Am I holding on to false hope of getting back together?

[chloelesliexo]

Long story short we broke up Sunday, over a year, 1 week and a half since we returned from a lovely holiday

 

He has lost his mojo and said he feels lost in life, he hates his job and had a meltdown a few weeks ago. The doctor offered him counselling but he didn’t take it and I think he is depressed.

 

 

He said last night he loves me but he doesn’t feel the same anymore

 

When I said is there a chance for us he didn’t say yes or no, just ignored me and said he will always care for me and he is taking himself away to do what he has gotta do. But he knows he doesn’t feel the same.

 

We haven’t had a face to face conversation, I left his house Sunday happy as ever and he text me later in the evening.

 

I have a feeling he needs space to see what is important to him in life and see that what we had was actually good.

 

Am I being an idiot?

 

In these cases how long do you usually give people to come to miss you and come back? (im not saying he will)

[mhowe]

Months and months. If not years.

 

Which means you don't wait. He had a nervous breakdown, and saw a doctor.

And refused counseling.

Which means the journey ahead will be long and arduous.

 

He won't see that what you had was good --- and not because it wasnt.

It is because he is not seeing or feeling anything positive.

So --- he won't miss you, he won't miss being in a relationship. I'm sorry.

 

You need to leave hope out on the doorstep.

[chloelesliexo]

I appreciate your honesty, thankyou.

 

I think it was a nervous breakdown yes, its so sad because we had so many happy times

 

The holiday we just had was some of our best times together

[mhowe]

Then enjoy the memeories.

 

And because holidays are not reality ....he could be happy.

But returning to reality is a return to stress....and his lack of coping skills.

 

Sorry for your pain.

[chloelesliexo]

One day I will enjoy the memories but they are too painful at the moment

 

Its such a sad ending for a relationship that we both cherished, its a shame that external factors like his work and his illness have caused it to come to an end

[mhowe]

Sadly --- work and mental illness (his) will always be a part of his life.

And that he chose not to address the mental illness or make a career move --- and instead excused you....makes NO sense. But it is reality.

[chloelesliexo]

he isnt a very strong person and runs away from any issues

he has pushed me away because is the easy option and really sad because i am the one person who would never have given up on him.

 

i need to accept that this is it now and that i wont be hearing from him again

[Itsalllove]

Hey. First of all I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you are going through. It's never a good feeling to feel knowing you were fighting for someone or something and it felt like they gave up. I am going thru a similar situation. Just know his issues are NOT your issues. You are a good person and a great lover to stand by him and he doesn't deserve it. Trust me one day he will wake up and feel like empty feeling and know he lost something GREAT.

 

Good luck to you.

[mhowe]

It isn't that he does or doesn't deserve her standing by him or being a great partner.

 

He lacks the emotional depth and strength to address stress in his life.

However, a mental/emotional breakdown will take YEARS to recover from --- or more as he is in denial that he needs help.

 

He may never "wake up"....and he is already feeling empty.

[Itsalllove]

What I am saying is, sometimes people do not realize what they have until it is gone unfortunately. It's just a fact of life. He is going thru so much that he probably is not seeing clearly. He may deserve her love, or he may not, that's for HER to decide. In my opinion I'm not going to wait around and wait for him to realize that. You can be there as a friend or even a shoulder to cry on, but all the love you give should be reserved for someone who can give it back.