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Help dealing with coworker


baker843

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Hello

 

I work in higher education, as an academic advisor. It is a small private school and there is only 1 other full time advisor.

 

This other advisor is young(27ish), very loud, very obnoxious, unprofessional. I want to add, without being rude, that she is a very large woman. I'm not stating that to be rude or immature. I say it because I suspect it fits into the equation of the issue. She mentions her size frequently, defensively.

 

She is very quick to claim to be bullied and go to our superiors to claim other folks in the office are mistreating her. She even comes to me on a semi frequent basis in tears claiming she is being bullied. In our small office, I can tell you she is not being mistreated.

 

When I ask why, she basically tells me it's because she's so incredible, that the people who are seasoned employees are jealous of her because she's young and great at her job. She possesses no respect for the people who have been there a long time.

 

What i don't get is that the higher ups seem to love her. They have given her additional projects and responsibilities.

 

She snorts. She belches. She yells. She "tattles". She has ZERO boundaries with students. She throws others under the bus. She runs to the higher ups crying that someone is mistreating her and they call that person into a meeting. Granted I don't know what was said in those meetings.

 

I found out recently that she was also talking nonsense about me behind my back to our superiors.

I'm not shocked but irritated.

 

I want to stay out of this crap as much as possible. Being such a small department, it's hard and I could use advice.

 

Further, why does it appear the higher ups cater to her? They give her additional projects to work on instead of me which doesn't mean more pay but it is frustrating when I am professional and work very hard and she is so immature, fuels gossip and is inexperienced. They listen to her when she throws others under the bus and self proclaims how incredible she is at her job.

 

In meetings she interrupts me, cuts me off, and utterly disrespects me. I am more quiet by nature but not shy. I never get into gossip and politics at work but I feel like our managers almost want folks. Like her: loud. I'm feeling ignored and overlooked over some belching unprofessional.

 

She has made it clear to met that she wants to be in charge of the department...soon. It's interesting considering she has no experience, that she wants to start begging for the top spot.

 

Advice on how to cope with the situation and my feelings?

 

Feeling ignored and overlooked for someone rude and inexperienced...

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Ignore her, i work with back stabbing people who talk behind my back, i could care less I'm at work to make money not be buddies with everyone. As long as the guy that signs my pay check is happy that's all i care about.

 

Even so i still just laugh and talk with every one, it's all you can really do, work is work, people are obnoxious, you can't let them interfere with your head.

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You keep your distance, you tell her to take up any complaints she has with the higher ups and you sit back and wait for her to mess up something royally. The higher ups won't like her quite so much when they see she can't really do her job. And above all you don't help her out in any way, not even if the boss asks you to to help her. Or she'll end up dumping everything on your plate and taking credit for it. This is one scenario where you can play the "Gee, I'd love to, but it is your project and you've already said you're good at it, so there's nothing I can really do to add to it. I'm slammed, so if I get a moment free maybe I can help later." (Say that last only if the bosses are around." She is, after all the expert, so let her be an expert all on her own. Maybe when you and the rest of the office let her go be grand by herself and do all that extra work by herself she'll start to think about alienating coworkers. Or the bosses will get fed up with her crying and messing up and they'll show her to the door.

 

Grit your teeth for now, avoid her as best you can, band together with your other office mates who are likely just as fed up and let her do herself in. It doesn't usually take long with someone like that to sink their own ship provided none of you let her bully you into doing her work for her. If that happens, yeah she'll be there forever masking who's doing the work and taking the credit for it.

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