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Am i in LOVE or LONELY or CONFUSED? Plz help :'(

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I've been friends with this guy for more than a year now. We have a connection and I have emotional connection + sexual tension with him! But sometimes i flirt with other hot boys and try to get to know them more. I only have sexual tension with those other guys rather than emotional connection. Those boys also make me happy alot of time..but by the end of the day, its still him. I always think about him every time. No matter if he was there or not. This is an obvious indicator of how i truly feel about him. But the problem is that right now im doubting and questioning myself. Does that mean that i was never in love and just lonely OR am i just confused?!?! What does this mean?!?? How can i fix this? T.T

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The fact that you say you have an emotional connection with him (and not with the other boys you're flirting with) definitely says he's special to you. So why are you "doubting and questioning" yourself? What is there to "doubt" and "question"?


I'm guessing because i'm afraid he doesn't love me back Any good advice please. Btw i appreciate it ^^

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Does he know you're gay? Is HE gay?


I gave hints so i dont know if he knows. And he didn't admit that he is but ppl around suspect that he is...




-He let me use his FB account & know the password before even asking why I need to borrow it.

-We took nap together at his house. We do keep little distance lol...not hugging and stuff like that of course. One time I open my eyes and I caught him looking at me, then he closed his eyes fast.

-Every time we about the sleep he kicked his little cousin out. They sleep together every night...I think if his cousin sleep w/ us it would be less awkward since 2 guys sleeping together seems kinda gay.

-He also puts his legs on mine when we're watching movies.

-Both of us used to have the same picture of us as our FB profile pic.

-My nickname in the group is zebra and he got a bird yesterday, he also named it zebra...I think b'cause the bird is black & white so...maybe that's his real reason?

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jojonguyen, your threads are repetitive and surface the same problems over and over again. We can't tell you how he feels, or how you feel, or what to do anymore than we have done already. You are still hooked on the same guy, from what I've read you still haven't come out to him yet, and you're still in the same place as you were months ago.

It doesn't matter what people "suspect", it has absolutely nothing to do with them.


Love is putting your heart on the line and accepting that there is a risk to it being broken.


If you want to know how he feels about you then you have to say something. You do not have a friendship with this guy, you have a crush on him and right now he only thinks you are his friend but you have a hidden agenda. Telling him how you feel could go either way - the road you fear, and the road you hope for. But either way you are going no where fast in this limbo. Please read your other threads and take the others advice - returning over and over again with the same concerns but taking nothing on board when people respond is just unproductive. If you want to stay in this limbo, then stay. But there is no other magical answer for you other than buck up, get some courage, and just tell him how you feel.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am not 100% convinced that he is gay besides him putting his legs on yours during movies.


Nonetheless, there is no sense in giving up if you feel a connection. But please take it lightly.


First off, if he is gay, he is not "out." I've spent enough time with gay people to know that there is a reason why people over the age of 20 are negatively referred to as "closet cases." I'm not saying it's hopeless or that there is anything wrong, but if he's gay, why is he hiding it? It's 2014 - I'm getting invitations to same-sex weddings. Your iphone has apps for meeting gay people in the palm of your hand. And overall, we live in this great day and age where being who you are is embraced, not suppressed. So why is he in the closet?


Next, I strongly recommend holding back on dropping the "L" word. If that's how you feel, wonderful! Being in love is one of the greatest feelings in life. But he is hesitant about being gay as it is - telling him you feel strongly for him could scare him before you can even give romance a chance. Try to bite your tongue for now.


The feeling of doubt is natural - we all doubt yourselves when we develop feelings for another person. But don't be discouraged


My final piece of advise would be to avoid telling him about your encounters with other men. If he feels the same way about you, he may hold back if he fears that he could be just "another one of those guys" that you fool around with. He is special, so let him feel that way

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