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Not able to have children again


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I have been with my husband for about 7 years this year and 5 years married. I knew he can't confront confrontation but when I needed an answer he would give it straight to the point. We'll i have children from a previous marriage. He has none and this is his first marriage. Well i had tired my tubes after my last child because it was just the right thing to do at the time. I thought with the new tech. Since he didn't have kids it would be nice to be able to give him at least one. So we did the IVF twice and both unsuccessful. I ended up UN-tying my tubes because at this point I was desperate for another child. I got pg but the baby grow in the tube. My tube ended up exploding in me and I had an emergency surgery and they took it all out even the ovary I don't know why that too. Well now he wants to leave me because he wants a baby. But he says he wants me and a baby. I told him if he desperately wants a baby he can do IVF and try through someone else. I am willing to help raise as my own. He says no, no way. So now he has me feeling insecure and unhappy. Because he is there but stop being loving towards me. Can't even talk to me. I told him that he needs to make a choice. If he wants out of this marriage because he wants a baby more then he loves me to let me know. I am willing to do whatever to make things work. But he is not even communicating with me. If he really wants and loves the idea of a child more then me. I am finally willing to let him go. But i need him to tell me. I don't want to walk out with no words or settlement made. And I am getting nothing. There is days he acts like nothing is wrong and days it seems as this marriage don't exit. He says he still cry's about losing those two babies. It hurts me too deeply. It was my body that went through the changes. I had to get the surgery. I feel just as bad as he does. When my tube exploded the doctor said I cold of died if I didn't go in when I did. But yet its my fault as he thinks. That is why I am willing to let him go so he can get what he wants. Yes it hurt me so much because if anything I lost so much in this just to loose him too. I just need him to tell me already.

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I'm so sorry to hear all that you have gone through and the loss and pain you have suffered. Unfortunately, sometimes in life we just can't get what we need from another person. The choices and decisions have to come from us. If he is refusing any attempts at communication and repair, then all you can do is basically be the one who pulls the trigger and tells him that you won't live like this or be treated like this and that you are letting him go so he can find his happiness and you can find yours.

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