How to say you don't want to go out with a guy to them

[cryingalways]

So I've been getting over the end of an emotionally abusive ex who sort of messed my head and my life up. It's been about 4 months now and I'm pretty up and down but I have had some happy times lately so that's nice. He actually left me in the end too, although I'm pretty sure now that it was because I had left his house during one of his rants at me in the middle of the night and then said several times I would leave if he did this again, which he didn't like, so I think he sort of knew his number was up and so he thought he'd dump me in a really nasty way to get the control back in his corner...so I've been pretty emotional and confused for the last few months.

 

Anyway....

 

I have been meeting up with this guy I met at a singles night I went to and he told me he "liked me" the other day.

 

He is a nice guy, friendly, nice looking but I just don't feel I have that strong a connection with him to go out with him and I know I need to say something to him now because he has said the above to me and is asking to meet up again.

 

Any clues on what to say? I know I just need to bite the bullet and say something but it's hard as I've enjoyed spending time with him. Just not....enough. You know.

 

I imagine after my last relationship it doesn't even begin to compare to the intensity of it. The highs were very very high but the lows were also as such. This guy I've been seeing is quite boring anyway really so it's just never gonna work. I dunno....I'm just not feeling it. I wish I did. I want to meet someone who treats me right and I like them soooooooo damn bad but it's just not working. I still seem to have terrible taste in men. I really want to change this.

 

I had counseling recently and it helped me see the pattern in the men I go for, so I am aware of things a lot more now, but it doesn't change how I feel.

 

Anyway. Any advice is welcome

 

P.s. I'm starting a short workshop tonight. wooo! I'm doing something!

[missmarple]

'It's not you, it's me, I'm just at a point in my life when I need to focus on myself...but good luck!'

[silversoul]

Just tell the truth, that you are just out of the relationship and can't be with anyone at this point.

[Thorshammer]

"Its not working out, i am not reading to date and see someone."

 

You ever thought your high with your ex was so strong because it came from a low? Usually the back and forth push and pull creates a strong high that is enforced with drama and high tension. if thats the case, then i would hold off from dating.

[cryingalways]

Alright. I've done it. I don't know why that was so hard for me but it was quite difficult to do for some reason.

 

I just worried I was making a mistake I guess.

 

I hope I'm not making a mistake

[Bunney]

So how did he react?

[cryingalways]

Oh he's just said he could see that and he's said he'd like it if we could forget the conversation and start over as friends. That's nice