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Gf behaviour


calledm

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Hi,

 

I have been with my gf for 6 months. From the beginning she has acted very odd. We have only seen each other once every 10 days, due our schedules. She told me she was very scared because her last boyfriend made her suffer too much. But I was patient and she started to feel comfortable. In new years eve she was so into me, she told me she wanted to marry me promptly because she wants children and I agreed.

 

But then she had to move to my place because she lost her place and started to behave weirdly from the start. She was always angry at me, even at little things or things she made up. She told me she was stressing with a lot of things but she moved in with me because she loved me, but even living together she didn’t pay attention to me. Then she had to move abroad because she found a better job. She told me she wanted things to work out with me because if not she will not be in a relationship being in distance. She moved 3 weeks ago and we have spoken only 5 times. Every time I tell her I miss her or I love her she says she doesn’t believe me, and is complaining I act in a strange way. She is in the beginning of her new job and is stressed but very happy. I try to be supportive, but I don’t know if I should back off a little bit because I feel she is taking me for granted.

 

By the way, she is 30 and I am 33 years old.

 

Thank you.

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Before you mentioned your age, I thought you were 20. I know you want us to focus on your gf's behavior but I won't. I'll focus on yours.

 

She made it very clear to you from the beginning that she was not ready for a healthy relationship with you. And then rushed with the "let's get married soon" and "let's move in together."

 

Where are your boundaries? Healthy people have boundaries. You should have said no on living together so soon and marrying quickly. Instead, you are sounding like a doormat. Being a doormat is not supportive. It's co-dependent and begging for love from someone who obviously is not actually that into you.

 

My advice is to let her go. And think about why you feel so emotionally dependent on this relationship.

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Sorry if I have not explained myself very well, but I wanted to keep it short.

 

She didn't tell me she was not prepared from the beggining, she told me she was scared of being hurt again a couple of times.

 

The marriage were being the both drunk, we knew we weren't going to do it.

 

She came to live with me for one month only, because she was homeless.

 

I don't know if I should break up the relationship because I'm losing interest, that's the reason I want your opinions.

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