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Still in love with him after he left me pregnant and has now come back


Poppybeans20

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Hi all, I will try to make this as short as possible, so your advices will deeply be appreciated.

 

I have found myself in a really sh*ty situation as I still have feelings for my ex bf and the father of my 2 months old.

 

We dated in early 2012 and broke up in late 2012 but we kept in touch and made the mistake of sleeping with him after we broke up. I got pregnant in early 2013 and gave birth not long ago. We were not together while i was pregnant but he came back after i gave birth.

 

Sadly I still have feelings for him and I can't really control myself in a really bad and possessive way. I am becoming so jealous, even though we are not dating. I am finding myself back where I was when we broke up & it's drama all over again. It's definitely pushing him away and soon I think he is not going to want anything to do with me or his child and it feels like 2013 all over again!

 

I became reattached to him after we recently had sex thinking that I wasn't going to have any feelings for him. Well I was completely wrong and I don't know what to do now.

 

I don't think i have ever stopped loving him nor have i ever stopped looking for ways to get him to be my bf again. So now I am confused and don't know what the hell to do! I was never over him but I was good when I didn't hear anything from him. However now that we have to raise a child together, I don't know what to do. I need time to move on but how do you do that when you have a child with someone?

 

Also, what's the best way to let go of any feelings of regret? I feel that I have ruined my chances of attracting him back now because I had sex with him. I feel like he's not going to want to be in a relationship with me ever again and I can't stop punishing myself for my stupid actions. Right now, I feel like disappearing and never talk to him again but I know that we have a kid together and I obviously want what's best for my kid.

 

I am unhappy co parenting with someone whom I still hold such deep feelings for. I definitely don't think I can be in a civil manner to co parent with him if we are not in a relationship.

 

I know I am only 20 and have plenty of time to find someone rightful for me one day but how do I let go of my idealising feelings for him? How do I stop myself from thinking that he is the love of my life and ill never find someone like him? He was my first sexual partner, so I don't think I'll ever get over him but I want to stop from thinking he is the one for me.

 

Please help, I don't want to deny my child his father, so what's the best thing to do in my situation?

 

Looking forwards to your replies!

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You slept with him last night and he told you that he didn't want to lead you on or make you think that meant you were getting back together.

 

To me, this means pretty clearly that he doesn't want to get back together.

 

It's to his credit that he's taking his role as co-parent seriously with you now. Helping you around the house and cooking for you and buying you things are all things he SHOULD be doing while you have a newborn baby together.

 

You have a new relationship now: you're co-parents. Unlike a romantic relationship which may last or fail, this one is for life. There's no cutting him out or keeping him from his son.

 

As for the romantic relationship between you, he's telling you NO very clearly. You need to believe him and respect what he's saying -- and DON'T have sex with him again! Having sex ISN'T going to change his mind about being in a relationship with you.

 

Your best course of action is give up this idea. Focus on your life as a single mom and your new son and moving on. There will be other loves for you. If your ex changes his mind, he'll let you know -- but for now, it's best to work on ACCEPTING what he's told you and moving on.

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