Bad day

[Allipie]

Maybe its the lack of sleep but today has been the worst emotionally.

I left a meeting because I started to randomly cry. I seriously get extra weepy now around 'that time of the month' since the miscarriage.

But my thoughts....how can he walk away and knowingly ignore me? Does he even feel bad? I lost a pregnancy...how do you treat a woman so horribly during what is an already difficult time?

 

Just my thoughts.

Support please

[Lucha]

He is a selfcentric jerk. His world revolves around him only. The only thing preoccuyping his thoughts are HIS feelings and HIS needs. He doesn't care about you and can't even bring up the respect that you deserve after carrying his child !

 

Sorry if I'm being harsh. I'm having a tough day as well.. It's my bday and it was a truly ty day.

[Allipie]

Thanks girl. I need to hear it...like its not all in my head...that his behavior is totally not justifiable etc

 

Happy birthday! Im sorry you are feeling horrible too

[toby4]

hugs to you both, youll always have a listening ear here and happy b-day lucha! you're much appreciated here!

[Lucha]

Thanks to the both of you, that's really sweet. One year ago I had the time of my life. She and I first kissed and slept together a day before my bday and I had never been so happy in my life. Little did I know that the exact same person would turn icecold on me and one year later we're not talking.

 

Life can change alot over the course of one year..

[clueless11]

Hey girl. I don't even know your story, but I hear you today. It's been a bad day. Emotions are running high and today, they're almost all negative.

 

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Be strong. I believe in you!

[Allipie]

Lucha...i hear ya. He was all sweet and caring before i lost it but once i lost it, he turned ice cold. I had told him a few weeks ago that i disnt ask for this to happen and that i just needed some support from the other person involved. I guess his pain ismore important...again...everything goes back to being on his terms.

[Allipie]

And if it is affecting him like he said it was when it first happened...why cant he recognize that what im feeling is so much worse. Grrr

I feel so sad and dont want to be!

[No1]

Allipie..if you dont want to be sad then dont be sad.

I know its hard after a break up, and I know not being said is far easier said than done. But who cares what you X thinks now? Who cares if they miss you or think about you? Some people do bad things just because and there is no rhyme or reason for it.

Youll never get the answers that will satisfy your needs. For every question that you have answered you will have just another question to take its place and thinking like that is not healthy for you.

Im sorry that you are in pain, I have been there and asked the same thing as you did and I learned to let go of the need to know and accepted what the current situation was and that was that I was single.

Learn to let go and learn to accept the now. Dont think back to what was said or promised because none of that matters anymore. You are on your own path he is on his. Let go..

[Allipie]

I know i need to accept it. and i know ill never get answers...sometimes, like now, it hits me and its SO painful.

[No1]

you will eventually get your answers, you just wont get them today.

its happened to me before that a GF cheated or broke up with me and years later I get the answer as to why. It didnt change anything but I did get answers and with some X GFs I never talked to them again and in both cases I had to move forward with or without my answers.

Its hard to let go.. I know my fear was that if I let the pain go my X goes away with it or if I let go I close the door for any hope. I learned to think simple and letting go just means letting go.

Have you read anytihng on relaxing? how to do some self hypnosis? Look, once the thought of an X enters your mind you have approx 18 seconds before it affects you emotionally if you let it dwell...so learn how to relax.. Stop what you are doing (unless you are driving) and take a deep breath, hold it for 3 seconds and slowly let it out thru the nose for a count of 5. Everytime you exhale, you imagine the thought of your X floating away. Continue to do this until the thought is gone..then you move on with life. It takes practice but it does help

[Allipie]

I do need to relax. And go back to my therapist asap. I cant let this affect me any longer

[beans]

You deserve the best man in your life. I dont think he is the best person for you.

[Allipie]

You deserve the best man in your life. I dont think he is the best person for you.

 

i know i deserve so much more. i just feel like i have this huge hole in my heart now. I don't know if it's from losing the baby or losing him or both.

[No1]

Are you comfortable being single?

[Allipie]

Are you comfortable being single?

 

I am...100%.

Over the summer...one day i pulled up to his place and he was standing outside and i had this feeling like he was IT. The One. I cant describe it.

Maybe thats why this is so extra hard?

[No1]

I know its not easy especially when you think they are the one. Oh I was a terrible mess and I was all philisophical and asked tons of questions and did a lot of things that I regretted during the break up process. So this is what I learned..

If this guy was meant to be your absolute mate in life, then one day it will happen. Perhaps its a case that you are ready and you see it and he is at a point in his life that he is not ready or sees it as you do. Or it can be that he is just simply not the one for you. Also have you looked at it thru the other side of the glass and realized that maybe life removed him because there is someone better out there for you?

If its meant to be then it will be, if its meant to be with someone else, then remain open to that. Point is, you must move on with your life and if your path crosses his again, you can be in a position to want him in your life or not. Healing after a break up is mental and how we view the current situation. Some people simply look away at the ovious and only want to look at the past. Some people look at it straight in the eye and say 'Okay, what is next" and some people just spin around in circles until someone tells them where to go. Be the person that stands up after falling down. Falling down is not failure, getting your heart broken is not the end of the world. Not standing back up and giving up and letting our X win is failure. Cry if you must, mourn if you have to but do not let anyone beat you. Stand up, dust yourself off and look forward, smile and say "What's next for me" and you go and do it. Otherwise life will move right by you.

[Allipie]

see, i don't even know if id want him back at all. ever. he left me to deal with losing our child alone. i don't know if that's something i can ever forgive.

[No1]

Right now, he is not in your life and just for now, keep it that way. All your feelings are still pretty raw and if you just take a few steps back and keep him from your life that will give you time to reflect. Im not saying remove him from your life for good, just for now. Once you have organized your feelings and know what directions you want to go, then you can decide to have him in your life or not. But thats in the future. Today, move forward. You can always forgive, but never forget what he did. And just remember that he left you when you needed him most next time you thik about having him in your life. Chances are, when the going gets tough he will leave rather than fight. If you want a man like that in your life, hey, more power to you.

Decide what you want to do because standing still holding a grude against your X will get you no where fast.

[Allipie]

i know. I'm nightmares again. and all i heard over and over was 'he left. he left. he left'. It's so traumatizing.

 

I don't want someone who runs away every time there is a problem.

I just have to move forward. I will never understand why/how he could walk away like that.

but it's still so very painful.

[No1]

Some people run from a problem, some ignore problems, some tackle problems. There is no rhyme or reason why this is, it just is. Quit trying to think what he was thinking or why he did what he did. Some guys are just big Douche bags.