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When ex love becomes a rival in same industry. Hurting, What to do?


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Well as it is I had a nasty break up with this person last year in June. After that I had gathered back whatever little dignity I had left of myself to move on in life.

Though I was shattered inside this time I decided I my heart won't be trampled upon and I will not be used. My ex-girlfriend was on my same team and I had taught a lot of the tricks of the trade. Now it happens that after the break up she has carefully selected some people who have the same or better profile and is doing great in her field. This is an open challenge to what I am doing now and she is also using the people whom she knows I hate and now I have been very down. Its really tough to work in the same industry knowing that my resources and help have been used by the lady and she is now totally moved on and using another man. I feel like a failure in my work and my heart hurts. Can you guys give any suggestions how to deal with this situation more professionally keeping my emotions aside. Btw, we are in the same music industry and while I am a music producer she is a singer. She will be soon touring with this group and I feel like right now. I was warned before by my mates that she was using me, but thought it was love. Now she has found a new producer and what she is doing is so hurting me I cannot take it. Its getting difficult for me day by day to carry on.. I am just holding on to God.!

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Don't let her or her career bring you down.

 

There's an unlimited supply of success to be had in entertainment -- there's room for everyone to succeed. She can go on and be a huge succcess -- or a total failure -- and it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with what's going to happen for you. It might be depressing to hear that she's doing well -- or injure your ego that you're not the one to help her to succeed anymore.... but honestly it has nothing to do with you or your work. You can still thrive as a producer and have a wonderful career ahead, regardless of what happens to her.

 

You already know you need a tough skin to make it in entertainment and this is just another example of that, unfortunately. There's creative pitfalls and personal ones as well. You need to suck it up and carry on. She's not the only aspiring singer who's going to want to *use you* to further her own career.... now you know what NOT to do next time.

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Different industry, but another creative one. I have the same situation with an ex partner with whom I had a nasty breakup over two years ago. In fact, when I was still reeling from the financial fallout from moving in with him/moving out again, I needed to go round to his to pick up my stuff. He was standing there, bragging about how well he was doing - well, he would have done if I'd let him get a word in edgeways. It's sickening to the core when someone who's abused you financially and emotionally treads on your fingers while they climb the ladder and leave you behind, but don't let it turn you into a victim.

 

I've coped with it as follows... firstly, recognise that whether or not the ex is doing well is NOTHING to do with you. Even if she learned a lot from you. It will not impact one jot on how well or otherwise you are doing; you owe it to yourself to pick up your pieces and SHINE. It sounds as though the people she's using are not those you'd have chosen, so no conflict of professional interest there, either.

 

Conversely, if you feel like a failure in your work... banish these thoughts immediately. In fact, if they start to creep into consciousness, tell them to **** *** and use your energy to do something constructive, no matter how small. Ironically, if she's doing well now, it's BECAUSE you're good at your job and she fastened onto it. However, this is not going to have depleted your ability at all, or your potential audience.

 

She's using someone else now. She isn't going to treat anyone else any differently to the way she treated you. If you can, try and blot out any reports of what/how she's doing, though I appreciate this may not be easy. If people try to talk to you about her, just let them know that you don't want anything to do with her, and you'd rather not know. Politely, of course.

 

If you find yourself tempted to see how she's doing, stop. Put the energy into improving how YOU'RE doing instead. She's an irrelevance to you now.

 

Good luck!

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I just want God to be fair with me this time. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I hope she gets her due But thanks for trying to cheer me up. It means a lot!

 

Trust me, itll come around. I didnt think it would for my person, but it did...and pretty badly too.

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I just want God to be fair with me this time.
Life isn't fair. That's just the way it is. You may be hurting now, but you're not seeing all the things you've got going for you. You have an education, you have a job. You have a place to live, a way to pay your bills. That's more than a lot of people have. And... you did it all without using anyone.

 

If your ex is a user, then she is going to what she did to you to who she is with now, and the next one and the next one. She will only be able to skate for so long on her looks or talent, eventually it's going to get around that she is not someone trustworthy or professional that can be worked with. Hopefully by that day, you'll be so far away from where you are now, you won't even hear it to have a spare moment to even feel sorry for her.

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