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Hey y'all, just wanted to introduce myself first as a 20 year old male. Me and my girlfriend of about two years broke up about 3 1/2 months ago. I loved this girl to death, and I know some people will call bull because of young love, but I truly do believe that she was the perfect girl for me. She was beautiful and our personalities matched perfectly. The first year and a half were amazing, with only a few minor fights and mess ups that really had no affect on the relationship. As we started getting older and busier with college extracurriculars and school, it was harder and harder for us to get to see each other as much as before. The months would pass and we would have more serious fights about our time management and priorities. We were both unhappy because I believe there was just a a lot of stress involved, and eventually i guess she just reached a breaking point. She came over one night and technically I guess broke it off with me, but it was more of a mutual decision by both of us.

 

Anyways, the beginning was very tough, as I'm sure everyone else's is too. As time went on, it began to get a little easier and I was enjoying the single life. I've hooked up with several girls since then, gone on dates with others (with no intentions of actually dating in the future). I was able to go out more, and I thought that this was good for me. However, as even more time went on, I began to get even worse and worse. I tried to do everything it could to get her off my mind including hooking up with girls, dating other girls, going out and hanging out with my boys more, watching videos, reading articles, anything you can think of that could possibly help, but none of it helps. Recently, she has added several pictures of her with guys and it still really stabs me in the heart to see that, although I can't get mad at her cause I've done the same thing.

 

Basically, I just want her back. I'd do anything to have her back. Everytime I go out, or to the library, or even grocery store, there's something in the back of my mind hoping to run into her there. We had lunch a little bit over a month ago to talk for the first time since the break. It went well, but it was really hard for both us because it was evident that we both still had feelings for each other. We both agreed that the lunch wasn't closure and both said that if it's meant to be, then it'll happen again. It's been over a month since then, and it's just been harder and harder every day, instead of easier. I just want to send her a text saying that I miss her, but I just don't know if that's the right time or right thing to do. We have spring break coming up soon in which I'm going on a cruise with a few of my friends, in which if I'm still single then ill probably meet a few girls on the boat. But I'd much rather be with her and in a relationship while I'm on the cruise, than to be single hitting on other girls. I guess what I'm asking y'all is when the best time to text her saying that I miss her. Should I send it before spring break to let her know that i'd rather be with her than hooking up with other girls on the cruise? Or should I send it after spring break so that we have more time away from each other to see if our feelings are still there, and not to look weak? Or should I just not send anything at all? I'm really confused about everything and I don't know what to do. Any advice by anybody or even people that have been in similar situations would be greatly appreciated. Thank you guys.

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Hey man. you sound like me. I'm almost at month 4 of my breakup and so far after my emotions and fear have subsided quite a bit I have come to these realizations:

 

1)Learn to control your emotions and what triggers them.

2)Take time to become a better you....that mean's see why the relationship did not work out and what you can do to change YOUR attitude and way of thinking so you may never make those mistakes again.

3)Love her from a distance for a little bit. She also needs time to figure out who she is and what she wants. The old relationship is dead and over with. If something needs to happen, it needs to be on a clean slate.

4)Develop unconditional love. true love. Meaning that no matter what, you will always love her. Even if that means she starts dating other men. She's a person and doesn't belong to you anymore. Same goes for her.

 

It hurts. It sucks. You want so bad to have her by your side. To know that her heart belongs to you. Life is molding both you and I and removing the kinks from within. Meditate, be fun again and one thing someone posted on this forum that really helped was this:

 

"Life a life that she wants to be a part of"

 

Stay strong soldier. The wounded warrior will rise again. I promise.

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