Best reaction to him not "arriving"?

[upsndowns]

So I recently started having sex with this guy, and sometimes, he doesn't cum. He said that it just happens sometimes where he can't cum, but when it happens, he seems kind of annoyed by it. At first he was worried about going too long, but I told him (not it bed) that there is very little chance of him wearing me out, and to just go as long as he needs to. I always offer another position or to go down on him or something when it happens, but other than that, I don't really know what to say. If I say "it's okay" (because he seems embarrassed about it) then it sounds like I don't care if he cums, and if I try to express sympathy, it seems like I'm disappointed that he didn't cum.

 

Help!

[CeeLambrini]

He is probably putting too much pressure on himself to cum, and therefore it is giving him a mental block. There can be other things such as the condom being used - if it is a "longer lasting" one - that will numb the sensations, or even if it's "extra safe" he might not be able to feel any stimulation. I've been told to put a little bit of lube in the condom if this is the case but have never tried it with my partner.

There could be other factors - I know that alcohol (even just the one drink) can affect the process or any other substances.

 

If it gets frustrating for him that he can't orgasm with you, try going down on him once in a while with no "strings attached". Also, constantly asking "are you going to cum?" can also put a man off (the same way it would for a woman)

The reason I suggest this, instead of at the end of sex, is that he will know he can relax and enjoy something you are doing for him instead of it being a task to solely make him cum. Your guy definitely needs to relax more as I think if it was none of the suggestions above, it is pressure to cum and end the sex instead of him working up to an enjoyable orgasm.

 

If he is used to orgasm when he is by himself, but not with you - ask him to teach you how to touch him so you can "mimic" the way he likes it as well.

[Gimpyrks]

Maybe also you can try to explain to him that sex is not an "all or nothing" ordeal. If he doesn't cum, you are still going to enjoy yourself. That might help take off that pressure a little.

[tmtex]

Drinking can easily do it, I know. Also lets say your doing it and he starts to feel like it may happen and then you say something to change the thought, it can go away

[laschenova]

ehh let's not blame this on OP. if there is an issue with something she says during sex her partner should be mature enough to communicate it with her. Putting thoughts like that in her head will only put more pressure on the both of them and be counterproductive.

[PaintWithLight]

As a guy, all I can say is that it happens sometimes. You drive the train all night long but you never get to the station. It does not mean that you did not have a good time. Cranking up the urgency that he must arrive will definitely not help the situation. Just relax and stay in the moment. It will solve itself with time and practice.