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Kim1985

By Kim1985
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Kim1985 Newbie

Kim1985

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Yep it's the boss... I give in. I don't want to like him because I don't think he's ever gonna like me back. And that's what baffles me, I just don't understand why he doesn't like me. Perhaps I have the biggest ego in the world... That's the only explanation I think! I am far younger than him, I am very hot, I am out of his league, I am smart, fun, sweet, lovable, we're good friends, close, share all sorts, have the same back ground, brought up similar, I could go on. I could swear blind to you I know he wants me by the way I perceive him - I affect his mood/behaviour,he tries to impress me, if I walk into the room or am near him he will groom himself, he cares about me, loves to see me happy and see me laugh, does things for me, jealous of other men, always touching me, following me, holds eye contact especially when I laugh, I could go on! Then, he does things purposely that are just strange - if I drink a fizzy drink and burp, he will burp and burp louder and fart! If I say 'Daniel Craig is hot', he will say some actress is hot, If I call him mate once, he will call me mate repeatedly for the rest of the day, he normally says he loves me to bits (as part of a relevant convo) and recently he said I like you to bits. Why say that?!?!?! What the hell goes on in his head. Then he does mean things like throw my cardigan on the floor when he thinks no ones looking. He gets angry at me. Then he calls me mean, cold, and sweet n'sour! Seriously, help, he's the hardest person to read I have ever met! Here's a low down on him, he's intelligent, sweet, kind, very insecure both personally and professionally, had his heart broken a few times, is 41, single, no kids, longest relationship is 3 years, doesn't have many friends, is shy, lonely and reclusive, but in work is extroverted. He has been internet dating a girl for nearly a year, but told me recently whilst he cares for her, doesn't like her as much as she likes him and is not sure what to do because he doesn't want to hurt his feelings. I'm 31, girl next door, funny, smart, don't suffer fools, loveable, hot, slim, had a bf for 7 years, got engaged then dumped him because I fell outta love. Started seeing boss man a week later, on and off for around 9months. That's came to an end when I told him I had some feelings for him. He said he had some too but we should just be friends. I left the company. Some time later I called him, he asked me to go back back to work for him. His boss didn't think it was a good idea because he knew my boss liked me, it was quite common knowledge. Somehow my boss's persuaded him to let me go back. And then all over the above behaviour carried on since going back, so 6 months...

Thanks for taking the time reading my 'book'! Intrigued to hear your opinions. If anyone bangs on about being unprofessional, I should leave my job, this is a hr issue etc then don't bother replying. Life is too short to take it seriously.

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blackgnat Contributor

blackgnat

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I think he's playing with you. He knows you fancy him and he's enjoying the ego stroke. Sounds like an high school level attraction to me-what grown man throws your cardigan on the floor and tries to go one better in the burp-and-fart stakes? The Daniel Craig stakes? Stoopid.

 

He also sounds like a commitment phobe-he's been dating someone online for a YEAR and hasn't done anything more about it? (or so he tells you) When you told him you had feelings for him he said you should just be friends? That says it all.

 

Just "be friends" with him, whatever that means. Tone down your expectations of a romance with him to zero. He's not looking to be got-he just likes the attention. Apply for a job somewhere else where you won't be in danger of all these bosses knowing each other and spreading gossip about each other.

 

Also, I'm amazed that you're 31. I thought you were going to say you were about 23 (no offense to the 23 year olds out there! I realize I'm age stereotyping here) because to me you sound like you have a very immature viewpoint of this man. Do you want to sleep with him? Is that your aim? Because you might get him in a weak moment and then the would REALLY hit the fan... Do you want to date him? Not a good idea with you two working together.

 

Think you're just gonna have to explode.

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blackgnat Contributor

blackgnat

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OMG I just read your previous post about the "mess "you created with your boss. ( I should have done that before I replied to this!)

 

You REALLY don't understand why he's never gonna "like you back" ?

 

You need to STOP THIS. The way you are thinking and acting is completely skewed.

 

Look for another job and get your mind back on your work-you are both enjoying the head games and it's neither professional nor healthy.

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Kim1985 Newbie

Kim1985

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To be honest I don't know what I want from him. I'm always hot and cold with him. He knows I'm enjoying the freedom of being single. I will probably move back to my home town one day, and he knows that. I've had a few short lived relationships since he and I put things to an end. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know I have feelings anymore, from the way I act, what I say and how I treat him. The balls in my court but I don't know what to do with the ball. I say jump, he says how high. He's risked his job and reputation several times for me. He pays for everything for me, hangs around after work like a bad smell, waiting to spend time with me. His mood depends on what mood I'm in. He thinks I'm complicated.

I don't know what I want with him. He doesn't know what he wants out of life.everyone knows he holds a candle for me. He's a workaholic. He's notorious for being 'an odd character', he's like the black sheep. He keeps his cards close to his chest. I think he thinks I would hurt him if we were in a proper relationship; I dumped my fiancé of 7 years, he was a rebound for a girl who did the same with her ex and them went back to him; his friend also had this done to him. He thinks I'll move home someday soon. He thinks I'll cheat on him as there are always other men involved in my life and I like the attention. He was jealous of a hot client so he got a colleague to meet the client out of the office so I couldn't see him. He's made a male colleague swap desks so that he can't talk to me. The guys got issues and a lot of emotional baggage.

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Kim1985 Newbie

Kim1985

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I told him I got bored when I was with him, that I like the thrill of the chase. I only want something when I don't have it. That I regretted what we did, and that I didn't want to hurt him.

He said when his dad was his age he was married and had 4 kids, so he feels like he should want the same but he doesn't. He doesn't believe in marriage because everyone's marriages around him are falling apart.

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Rosti87 Contributor

Rosti87

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I did not read the previous thread because I did not care for the title. As I read this I don't care for this either. The dude is a lothario and you think too highly of yourself and your level of attraction. You both lack integrity and maturity.

 

I can't believe that at the age of 33 you are behaving this way. I can't believe you are jeopardizing you job for this silly whim. I can't believe I am responding to this thread.

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