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Leaving the country for good. should I contact recent ex?


BrokenHearted8

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So he broke up with me 2 months ago because he needed space to work on himself, can't focus on a relationship, etc... We're both going through some intense personal problems at the same time, and things just fell apart. I have been breaking NC regularly and we talked about being friends. Then, I realized that I can't be friends with him, I told him that I can't be his friend, and I started NC again (it's been 15 days). I am leaving the country for good in two weeks because of visa issues, losing job etc, and my ex asked me several times to let him know before I leave so that we can say our goodbyes in person. Should I let him know that I booked my flight and that I'm leaving soon? should I break NC to meet up with him one last time before I leave for good?

 

I miss him so much and I don't want to regret not seeing him one last time before I leave. I know I'm clinging to false hope but that's just the way I feel right now. I know it would feel so good to see him and hug him and say goodbye in person. But at the same time I know that I'm probably not thinking clearly and that I shouldn't break NC. Please advice me. I don't want to make any more mistakes to push him away even more.

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This is one of those where you need to do for yourself what feels right. If seeing him one last time will give you closure, then do it. If you think it will tear you apart then don't. Ultimately, only you know how you feel and what you can and cannot handle. Personally, I try to avoid regrets.

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This is one of those where you need to do for yourself what feels right. If seeing him one last time will give you closure, then do it. If you think it will tear you apart then don't. Ultimately, only you know how you feel and what you can and cannot handle. Personally, I try to avoid regrets.

 

I would tell him as soon as possible. Any time you get with a loved one is limited. Even if you end up together, it will always be limited. So thinking that way, I think it's better to spend that time together while you can, because eventually you won't be able to.

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I would contact and honor the request. When you leave, there is no looking back. If ever you feel like telling him everything you want to tell him, then go ahead. You will never get this time back. However be ready if he chooses not to see you before you go, as it might be a possibility.

 

I wish you all the best in this new endeavor. Face it as a door being opened to you. And that includes our love life.

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I'm torn My ego tells me to stay in No Contact because he knows I'm leaving and he didn't contact me at all to find out when I will be leaving. So if he's not making any effort to reach out to me, why should I?! On the other hand, I miss him and wants to say goodbye in person (and I honestly still have some hope to reconcile some day in the future so I want to leave on good terms). It's a hard decision. I still have two weeks to figure it out. Telling him today will definitely be a mistake as it's around Valentine's day!

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Just get on the plane.

 

He wants to be "friends?" That is the most selfish thing that a dumper could say or want.

 

Look at it this way... If he loves you, he'd be willing to fly anywhere in the world to be with you. Man, our relatives would spend weeks on a boat to join their loves and start a new life oceans away in a totally foreign country!

 

Have some dignity and take control of this situation. Just get on the plane. Trust me... You'll thank me later.

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Have some dignity and take control of this situation. Just get on the plane. Trust me... You'll thank me later.

 

Thanks realist. He has my phone number and Facebook, he knows how to reach me if he wanted to. Also, he knows that I'll be leaving soon and he did not reach out to me in any way at all. He asked me to tell him when I'll be leaving before NC. But the moment I told him we can't be friends, he disappeared completely. I think it would be best to have some dignity and self-respect and back off; he obviously doesn't care enough. But at the same time, I still miss him like crazy and want to see him one last time. I don't want to have regrets months and months later. I still have 2 weeks left, and I'm hoping that he'll reach out. If not, then I'll just leave the country and leave the past behind!

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I'm sort of in the same situation, but I'm leaving at the end of summer. I think it is the best that you don't contact him. You are not going to a different planet or disappearing forever. If he cares, he will get in touch.

 

Exactly. Let's keep our heads high and our dignities intact. If they care, they'll reach out eventually. If not, then it was never meant to be!

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