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Which is worse ?


JSB

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Going through this break up, it has been the worst experience ! I really messed this up.. I'm over thinking.. I have been through a few break ups and been over them fairly quickly. I don't know if it's worse to realize you've been with a douche bag and wasted your time or someone breaking up with you on good terms ?

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All breakups are painful unless you both simultaneously come to the conclusion that you don't want to be together and are better off single, which rarely happens.

 

What helps you get over break ups quicker is realizing that regardless of why it didn't work, it didn't work, and it is to your advantage to try to heal and get over it as soon as possible.

 

Let's say someone decides to swing on a rope swing, and suddently the swing breaks and the person falls and breaks their leg. the person can spend eons going over 'why oh why did i get on that swing? I should have known better' or 'if only the rope was made of metal cable rather than rope this wouldn't have happened' or 'if the branch wasn't so high, I might have only bruised myself rather than broken my leg.' When the reality is, once the leg is broken, it is a waste of time to ruminate over that kind of thing because the reality is the leg is broken, and you can't change the circumstances of why it happened or what went wrong, so the goal needs to shift to doing what it takes to get it healed as quickly as possible.

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Depends on the level of douchebag. I definitely feel the first is worst. Before I had an ex cheat and be physically abusive, I would have said the latter. After that, I'd rather not have went through the emotional damage and pain that a jerk put me through which now gives me doubt that great, wonderful guys exist.

 

I've had breakups where the person was a good guy and the relationship wasn't toxic and I was fine. Certainly didn't hurt as much. Ultimately it depends on the individual scenario and how much you love/care about someone when the relationship ends.

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For me the later is harder. It is what I am going through at the moment and makes me miss him more. If he was a jerk then I wouldn't have cared. This has been the worst break up for me as I can't even hate him!

 

Kam I agree! I am trying so hard to force myself not think about him but knowing he was a good guy makes me feel so bad about this!

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