I thought id feel better but I don't

[Ani87]

I sent an email to my ex today after he hadn't sent back the remainder of my things...

 

After I sent the email I tracked the package and realized it was delivered... and my friend has my things so I get them over the weekend...

 

I thought I would feel happy but I don't. I just feel incredibly sad. It's like this final thing... did you ever feel this way after you got the last of your things? Was it this finality that it was officially over now. Nothing was there holding on...

 

How did you deal with it. I just feel upset and alone.

 

I sent an email back saying sorry I did get it and said happy V day and hoped he was spending it with someone special. I don't know why I wrote that. I am conflicted just sad.. just incredibly sad. Im scared to see my ring it always meant to much to "US".

 

Ill hide it way until im ready to look at it again.

 

How do you deal with everything especially getting things back you shared together?

[sharky988]

Yeah, don't look at the stuff for a few more months -- just leave it all in the box. Don't open it.

 

I think the sadness you're feeling is normal. It's the death of hope. You're running out of believable reasons to contact him. It hurts that he's not using this "allowable" contact as an excuse to reach out or say he's changed his mind. That's disappointing and it hurts.

 

Just let yourself feel how you feel. It's normal to have an emotional backlash after contact with an ex. It feels good in the moment.... bu then a day or two later you hit with a wave of sadness that the contact hasn't changed the situation and you're still broken up.

 

It WILL get better! Just stick to NC from now on.

[jonyyy]

Yes put all the things in a box and store it away from sight. I went through that too. I put "our" stuff in a box, read one last time all the cards and letters, remembered the events connected to all the items, cried all that I could, closed the box and never looked back again. You can review all that stuff to say a proper goodbye if you feel like it but it will hurt you real bad. I did it because I needed to feel that it was really over and to properly mourn my R/S. This way I didn't feel the urge to go check that stuff again later.

[aphrodite13]

When I broke up with my ex and I asked him what are things he wants back from me. He didn't what to take back anything, though I know some of his DVD collections and best story book are with me. He wants me to keep all those things. I would be very hurt if he will give me back the things I gave him too.

 

I promised myself to wear the necklace he gave me forever but when I decided to let go I took it off 10 days after BU. Few days after, I am tired getting hurt so I took 1 day off from my work to cleared all the things he gave me. It's painful to remember the past while I packed those things especially I when I realized that he spent a lot on those things. Now that I am telling this story I feel happiness more than sadness because I knew somehow he did had loved me. I still love him and miss him so much but if I will dwell on the sadness I can never move on.

 

You cry as much as you want, feel hurt as much as you want ... Someday you'll get tired of it. Start loving yourself ... Go NC.

[Kendahke]

When I broke up with my ex, I gave him back all the cards he ever sent me. I saved nothing from him in that respect... only some pieces of jewelry that I never wear and they're put away for a future project to melt down the gold and turn it into something else.

[mbee]

What you are going through is normal. Don't be too hard on yourself. I would avoid looking at your stuff and keep it wrapped up until you are ready to handle it. you'll know when you are ready but it will probably take a few months or longer.

 

I did look at things my ex sent me and cried over it for a few days and like a prior poster said, I stored it away. I'm currently relocating overseas and am packing up things, storing things, selling things. It's been 10 months since the breakup. I found things my ex gave me, even stuff that were "lost" and found once I packed up all my things and there was no sadness looking at it. It just what it was, a memory of an old time. I even got up the courage and threw out things that I had been holding on to... like an old jacket he gave me so that I could stay warm on a long airplane flight after a month of dating. After the breakup I could not have thrown it away. Yesterday when I saw it, I thought for a minute about keeping it, and then realized I didn't want more "junk" in my life and threw it away.