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Heartbroken over my ex girlfriend. Dont know how to carry on :(


Michael 93

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Firstly I would like to say thank you to all of the contributors and stories on this site they have made things a little easier for me over the past couple of weeks.

 

I am going to try and keep this as brief as possible but include essentials so people can relate and give me advice.

 

I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of a year and 3 months. We split up exactly a month and half ago. I am now in the process of no contact and have been for a just over a week. She meant the world to me as i did to her. We had everything we ever needed at one point and when I had her nothing else mattered. Things happened during the relationships and we had arguments and ups and downs. There was a point where she moved out of her home and she actually come to live with me for 6 months of our relationship due to falling out with family. She got along with my family and we would regularily discuss our future and how much she cared about me and she would tell me that she never felt love until she met me. I felt like a king. However at the latter end of the relationship I received messages from an ex which I openly admitted to her as I am not good at hiding things. It got to a point where I could tell things were getting strained and she eventually moved out. This was Not long after the incident with the other woman texting me. A couple of weeks beforr she moved out I actually questioned whether I loved her or not. As I did werent quite sure at the time and could tell we were drifting. The day she moved out I openly admitted this to her. We talked and she was upset but we decided to stay together. Aftrr she moved out things got more and more strainrd. We would argue and bicker but still we would delcare our love for each other and I thought we were strong enough from the core to sustain things like that. Turned out we werent and she eventually broke up with me. Citing that she wasnt happy and I didnt appreciate her enough.

 

I was heartbroken and cried my eyes out to her.the day after she came to see me and explained her reasons she ended up staying the night we slept together and she even said herself this still feels right. I checked on social networking and saw that she had been on there for 3 months. Not uploading statuses but regularily changing pictures and things like that. I recognised that this must be around the same time she moved out that she got this back. I was hurt and we both said things that were hurtful and wrong. She still explained that she wantrd me to go away and reflect on what had happened and that she would come back and make her own judgement. This was not easy for me and I found it extremeley difficult not to text and call her. So I did. It eventually got tothe point where she was nasty and broke my hesrt every time i tried to contact her. She would tell me she didnt miss me and she wasnt heartbroken. She was enjoying her life now and that she didnt want me back. I still persisted and sent her flowers to work which she gave away. I called her that day to ask if she received them she laughed at me and said yes but I got rid of them. I am over you and never want you back. I still didnt give up and it got to the point where I could not sleep. She explained she would keep in contact and see me from time to time. At this point she informed me she was seeing someone else from my gym. I raged and spoke to the guy he explained that they spoke a long time ago as she messaged him on social networking my brain started to click and I realised this again was at the same point of her getting the network back. I felt so hurt and my heart was broken. I knew where they had gone and what they had done and it killed me. She spoke to me and said I deserve to know the truth. She came to see me and explained everything. I still do not believe her as I have friends who back up what he is saying that she has spoken to him before. (He is a doorman) she has told me he isnt her type and that its nothing like that but if that is the case it would nt of got this far would it. I can not get it out of my head!!

 

we work together not in the same office or the same part of town but it is still so difficult. I have done nothing but try and get her back since we split and she has to know how much I cared now. She ended up reporting me at work a day after seeing me and telling me she was there for me and she still cares about me. She explained she wanted me to sort myself out and she would remain in contact. Yet she goes and reports me the day after. I called her and asked why and she explained that she thought I needed help and her manager was asking questions so she had to say something. I felt deceived as I thought she come to see me because she cared. I mean she literally hugged me for ten minutes without letting me go. I even asked her if she loved me and she said I dont want to say something that will get your hopes up! When we ended the conversation I asked her if that was it and are we never going to be together again. She said no and wished me to take care. That was the last time I spoke to her and I wish if I knew that now I would never of let her go the last time she came to see me . We havent spoke since and thats been just over a week.

 

I love her so so much and I feel so empty without her. My home dosent feel the same my life dosent feel the same. When we were happy therr was nothing in the world that could break us. I know she will probably be still seeing him and it hurts me so bad I wish she would think about me and care about me. I would love so much for her to text me. But I know she will never do it. I miss her like mad and deep down I am hoping if I give her time away she will miss what we had. There is nothing more I would like than to text her but I know it will not help.

 

Any advice would be so appreciated. I cannot stop thinking about her and being happy with someone new. I would give anything to hold her again

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Hi Michael,

 

I know you are feeling alot of pain at the moment and it is really hard and intense at first.

 

From your post it seems like she has already moved on but is keeping you there "just in case". She could still be hurt and resentful over what occurred earlier in your relo with this other woman and you questioning your love for her, so in turn doesn't see any issue with stringing you along.

 

Keep to no contact. I know its hard. No contact is a way for YOU to heal not to get her back. She will end up contacting you sooner or later but ignore it. If her response to your efforts is to report you and play mind games with you denying her involvement with this other guy. Do you really need this? Isn't this drama causing havoc on your life and emotions?

 

This intense pain will fade, but the manipulation of an ex won't. As long as you keep holding on the longer she will keep stringing you along, never treating you as a choice but an option. You DESERVE better.

 

Please respect yourself and respect that you need time to heal. To move on, to be strong enough to let the pain fade. And it will fade. I never thought it would but it will slowly yet surely. You can do this.

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Firstly thank you very much for replying I appreciate it so much. The pain is the worst I have ever experienced. I have been through break ups before but this one makes me feel like I cannot focus.

 

I have never loved someone so much before and I can honestly explain the majority of our relationship was magical. The way we met, the routine we had, all of the little things. I mean yes we had our ups and downs but we would always work things out and she would always be sweet with me. I cant go into detail because I could be here for hours but just know that we had a bond I didnt think could ever be broken.

 

I agree I hate to admit I think she has. Hence why she has been so heartless since we split and has not shown any emotion apart from the odd time. I just thought I did so much for her I mean we even lived together is it possible to forget about someone so quickly?? Since the break up she has made effort to show she does care and wont forget me when ive been hurting. But as for reporting me that just blew any hopes I had.

 

I hate she is seeing someone else so soon and I have a strong feeling its because she emotionally detached from me a long time ago and that hurts me so bad. I know where he has took her and hate she will be having a good time withhim. She didnt have to do that!!

 

I want to speak to her more than anything. I hate that she does not care she has dropped me as if it was a week relationship. I agree with the manipulation and agree that I have to move forward. I am trying so hard and as I say have lasted nearly 2 weeks without contact. I just wonder will she ever come back

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Hi Michael,

 

It's gonna hurt, a lot. For a long time. But it gets marginally better with time and one day you won't feel it at all. I know that's not you want to hear right now, but please don't break No Contact and hang in there. You will be stopping your progress to move on and feel better if you do anything other than staying away from her.

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