shygirl1986 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 This weekend is Valentine's Day weekend and my boyfriend's birthday weekend. We had plans for me to take him out to the Ripley's Aquarium downtown and then go out for a nice dinner together. Now he's saying his friends are tagging along and we're staying at a hotel and we're going to a strip club. He's mentioned that he wants to do this on his birthday before but I thought it wasn't actually going to happen and now with the whole Valentine's Day thing I'm even more mad. I was so mad at him last night that I was almost ready to call it quits and then I said I was tired and I'd sleep on it. What do you think about this? Link to comment
CeeLambrini Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Your boyfriend is taking you to a strip club on his birthday/valentines day? I think I would personally call it quits. Link to comment
Ani87 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I believe there is a time and a place for certain events. Valentines day is not one of them to be going out with his mates and going to a strip club... There is an appropriate time and place. Can I ask how old your bf is? It just seems an immature option. I would not go, have a girls night out instead or go to a movie. Make a stand that you will not be disrepected like this. if he wants to act like this he can spend V day by himself and his mates. At the end of the day your best mate isnt going to be there, your GF is or your wife is. He should be placing you FIRST in his mind and not his mates. It seems very selfish to be dismissing a day meant for couples to be with his mates and stare at a bunch of naked women... Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 strip club valentines day or close to it..smh Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Your boyfriend is taking you to a strip club on his birthday/valentines day? I think I would personally call it quits. Same here. This guy is either very immature or just a jerk. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 That would be the last birthday or valentines day I'd spend with him. Link to comment
Minilogue Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I think it's his friends that are the problem, not him. I wouldn't dump him just for a boys night out, you know friends can be powerful influences and I'm sure it's just harmless fun in their eyes. Like they just want to take him out to a strip club for a bit of fun for his birthday, that's probably their view. But I'd talk to him about your plans and that you would prefer him to go with you instead of his friends, be polite and not demanding but just ask that he would put you first and say this is important to you and you've put a lot of effort into this occasion. I'm sure he will pick you instead of a boys night out if you word it correctly, maybe say to him you will get a personal lap dance and other naughty stuff that will blow his mind If he doesn't and want's to go out with his friends I still wouldn't dump him if he's a good guy and the relationship is good. If your happy then you have to expect him to have a boy's night out with the friends every once in awhile. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I think it's his friends that are the problem, not him. Your responsible for your own actions... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 It's not about his friends but about him, his values and priorities. I'd stop seeing him, too. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Another vote for breaking up.... Link to comment
shygirl1986 Posted February 13, 2014 Author Share Posted February 13, 2014 Okay thanks for the input guys. He agreed that Friday and Saturday were our days and Sunday he's going to the strip club with his friends which I'm not too thrilled about but I probably wont over-react. Maybe I'll take pole dancing classes and go to a Chip N Dales for my birthday and see what he thinks about that. He's turning 28 btw. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Okay thanks for the input guys. He agreed that Friday and Saturday were our days and Sunday he's going to the strip club with his friends which I'm not too thrilled about but I probably wont over-react. Maybe I'll take pole dancing classes and go to a Chip N Dales for my birthday and see what he thinks about that. He's turning 28 btw. How often does he go to strip clubs? How will you feel Saturday night when you know the next day he'll be at a strip club? Link to comment
MisUnderstood9 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Is his birthday right on V-day or is it like the next day? Maybe try a compromise. V-day you guys go do the things you wants to do like the Aquarium and dinner and say Saturday night for his birthday he goes out and does the whole birthday thing with his friends and (this is just me), tag along... make it a hilarious event instead of being prudy about it just because its a stripe club. Ive gone out to quite a few stripe clubs with my boyfriend and his friends, but thats me, going there doesnt bother me, to me its just another club. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 This weekend is Valentine's Day weekend and my boyfriend's birthday weekend. We had plans for me to take him out to the Ripley's Aquarium downtown and then go out for a nice dinner together. Now he's saying his friends are tagging along and we're staying at a hotel and we're going to a strip club. He's mentioned that he wants to do this on his birthday before but I thought it wasn't actually going to happen and now with the whole Valentine's Day thing I'm even more mad. I was so mad at him last night that I was almost ready to call it quits and then I said I was tired and I'd sleep on it. What do you think about this? I take it he's still doing the Friday night activities with you, but he's changing your plans to do something more exciting for his birthday with his boys? Well, you did get a heads up on this possibly happening, it wasn't sprung on you today; I supposed you didn't think that your boyfriend would opt for a night of "fun" with his boys over whatever it was you planned on his birthday. I think that when he first brought this up you should have stopped any plans for Valentines day and told him that if he followed through with the plans that it would send a definite message to you where your relationship stood. You dismissed that and your own peril, which you're facing now. If you think that this is a monumental breach that you will never in the rest of your life be able to cross, then I think you should call it quits, quite frankly. His friends aren't the problem. That's a convenient target for you to aim at when the target for this should be your boyfriend. He's got a mouth and every human understands the meaning of the word "no" by the age of 15 months. He wants to divide up his time. I don't think getting into a competition to make him jealous is a sound strategy. Unless you're already predisposed to get on the pole, I'd leave that base behavior alone. Who you are and what you are is more than enough--stop lowering yourself to compete with what is beneath you. If you can't summon your grace and dignity and take a course of action that befits said grace and dignity, then I foresee nothing but drama and tears ahead for you. This weekend needs to begin for you a watch and see period with him. Video ex taceo should be your motto for the foreseeable future (I see, but say nothing). Observe, take note and then at a determined time, make a decision to either stick with him or leave him. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Okay thanks for the input guys. He agreed that Friday and Saturday were our days and Sunday he's going to the strip club with his friends which I'm not too thrilled about but I probably wont over-react. Maybe I'll take pole dancing classes and go to a Chip N Dales for my birthday and see what he thinks about that. He's turning 28 btw. Sounds like a fair split to me in terms of accommodating v-day and his b-day plans with friends. As for the strip club, is this something that he does often? Either you can accept that this is something he is into or you need to find a new bf. Make a decision, because you won't change anyone and it's not a battle worth fighting...... ever. The last part about pole dancing, etc. - that's just childish. Make up your mind about who you are and what is and isn't acceptable to you and find a guy who fits. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Tell him you think that's a fabulous idea and while he and the boys are out having their fun you and your best girls are going to go to Chippendale's to see the hot dancer you've been eyeing. Then smile sweetly, wish him a happy Valentine's Day and disappear from his life forever. He'll get the message loud and clear that going to a strip club with the boys if he's in a committed monogamous relationship is NOT the way to hold on to a gal. Just kidding, actually tell him since you now see where his priorities lie it's over. Then go out and have a great time anyways with your friends on Valentine's Day and when you're healed from the breakup find someone who's not such a loser that they think it's okay to let their friends tag along and all go to a strip club together during what is supposed to be a romantic holiday. Ugh. Seriously, is this guy like what 12? Link to comment
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