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Addicted to an Online Game and it's ruining my life.


mendelpalace

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For the past few years I've been addicted to an online video game and it's steadily gotten worse. I can't stop playing it. I live eat and breathe the game, I barely work, just enough to survive and then it's playing the game 10 hours a day. I've been getting so incredibly angry at the game lately that i've started to lash out at the world, punching holes in walls, self-harm, from all the negatively stored inside, it's a very competitive game and even when things happen that I have no control over, I find myself getting so mad in my effort to be the best my stomach hurts. I feel like a ticking time bomb, all it's gonna take is some random jerk in the real world to set me off and I'm gonna go nuts, I have homocidial thoughts very often now and I know I need to stop but I just can't, I've put so much of my life and energy into this stupid game, I just want to be recognized and good at something and I feel I will be worthless if I just give it up, which I can't do anyways. It feels like crack. I need help.

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Only way for me was to stop cold turkey.

 

Think about just tossing the computer out and refrain from buying yourself a new one.

You life might will be very boring, and you will miss 'the game'. But if you can keep yourself from starting up the computer you will stop playing the game.

 

It's just very hard to do if you don't have a new hobby.

 

Go see a counsellor about this by the way if you can just start talking about it to someone it might help. It is even more serious because of the homocidal thoughts or do you mean suicidal thoughts?

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I actually used to play an mmo game online for over 2 years. I didn't play enough to be a top player, but I was addicted to it. There were other players who spent real money, sometimes hundreds of dollars of their income just to pay for the in-game money to afford avatars, special event items, etc. One day the game company hosting it decided to shut it down. They gave a warning of 30 days and said after that everything would be deleted. For me, hearing that meant all my hard work and effort went down the drain and the same went for every other player. For those 30 days I barely logged in and eventually I stopped completely because I knew there was no point anymore. It took awhile to adjust to life without the game, but once you get used to living without it you find yourself with so much more free time. You're not tempted to log in for a special event that may get in the way of work or other parts of your life and your life no longer revolves around the game.

 

For one second imagine what it would feel like if the game was shut down, and you lost everything. How would you feel? What I'm trying to get at isn't that your game could be shut down any day now, but you need to look at your online game for what it is: a virtual world. You are essentially spending your time (and money maybe) on something that doesn't exist and doesn't benefit you very much. You could be spending them improving your relationships with friends, family, or with a girlfriend. You could be working on hobbies or things that interest you. You could learn a practical skill. You don't have to pursue these things if you don't want to, but imo playing videogames is a huge time sink with no real-life returns.

 

What you can do is figure out a reasonable number of hours to play the game and work down to that number. Let's say playing 7 hours a week, one hour a day is reasonable. Set a timer or alarm, play for one hour, then log off. Or take days off where you aren't playing the game so you get used to not being on there every day. Instead go out and hang out with friends, or visit parts of the city, go for a run, anything that doesn't involve playing the game. Baby steps can help you get there.

 

P.S. Alot of online games and tablet/phone apps are designed to be addicting. You have to learn some self-control when playing them.

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I feel like a ticking time bomb, all it's gonna take is some random jerk in the real world to set me off and I'm gonna go nuts, I have homocidial thoughts very often now

When you get to this point you know it's time to seek professional counseling/therapy. There's not much anyone here can do for you. You need professional help.

 

It seems this has been ongoing for several years (according to all your other threads). You have some serious issues and over the years everyone has advised you seek professional counseling, but yet you never do. WHY is that?

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You have some serious issues and over the years everyone has advised you seek professional counseling, but yet you never do. WHY is that?

 

A therapist won't take the game away from you, so you don't need to be ready to give up the game before you can pursue therapy.

 

The idea is to get an assessment so you can be given options from which you can choose treatment.

 

Some methods of therapy can teach you small ways to modify your behaviors, which can lead to small successes that may motivate you to take on larger challenges. It's all voluntary--and it needs to be, because nobody else can change anything for you.

 

Consider this, it's your decision.

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Try finding a hobby. Once I played so much that I was skipping school. Just try to find a hobby that you will like. Just try different random things, from sports to music, try cooking, chess, drawing, playing instrument, singing, acting. Anything you will find interesting for you. Try finding some friends.

 

Also, you already thinking you need to stop, that's great! Yeah, you spent a lot of time and energy, but it's still not late to quit that. You want to spend there more? No. Stand up and go live your life, mate! Best of luck!

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When you get to this point you know it's time to seek professional counseling/therapy. There's not much anyone here can do for you. You need professional help.

 

It seems this has been ongoing for several years (according to all your other threads). You have some serious issues and over the years everyone has advised you seek professional counseling, but yet you never do. WHY is that?

 

Because I'm poor, I can barely pay rent let alone seek any professional help, so I come here.

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