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I am feeling very down today.


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As the title says, I'm feeling very down today. I have blocked my ex gf about a month ago on FB, so that quite helped me moving on. However, this morning on FB I saw a picture posted by her bf, about the early Valentine gift to her. This gift is handmade, and it is very impressive that a guy can make such a thoughtful and nicely gift to a girl.

 

My ex's bf and I are not FB friends. I saw that picture because a few of the mutual friends were commenting on that picture.

 

I thought I was making some good progress in the healing, with two new hobbies, a new job, exercising, etc... But not today, today I'm falling behind. I really hope soon I can feel indifferent of my ex.

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Ohhhh I feel for you, that would be very hard to see. You'll always have those sort of days, when all you want to do is dwell and think about the past. I know you think it's pulled you down after seeing that, but try not to let it spoil your day and keep yourself distracted from thinking about it too much.. Maybe try and use it as motivation, to keep on moving forward and keep up your new hobbies!! The healing process takes quite a while, and it's different for everyone but I'm sure your going to come out of this stronger than ever. Just gotta have faith in yourself, and stay positive! Surround yourself with those who love you.

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I permanently deleted facebook.

Its a waste of time. And i dont have to see anything associated with HIM.

Wasnt there some study done that said facebook can make people depressed? I swear i read that somewhere... Haha

 

I wouldnt doubt it, people post stuff that's insignificant and make other people jealous even when its something as simple as "got myself starbucks". There's no need for me to know when someone bought starbucks all it does is make me sad i don't have coffee lol (this is a less extreme case). Then when youre freshly single and you see couples posting stuff it can get a lot more painful.

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I wouldnt doubt it, people post stuff that's insignificant and make other people jealous even when its something as simple as "got myself starbucks". There's no need for me to know when someone bought starbucks all it does is make me sad i don't have coffee lol (this is a less extreme case). Then when youre freshly single and you see couples posting stuff it can get a lot more painful.

 

Yea exactly. It made me annoyed more than anything. Im going to keep in contact with people the "old fashioned" way.

Theres also no way for HIM to know whats going on in my life. Hehe. And unless he kept my number, no way to contact me >

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I wouldnt doubt it, people post stuff that's insignificant and make other people jealous even when its something as simple as "got myself starbucks". There's no need for me to know when someone bought starbucks all it does is make me sad i don't have coffee lol (this is a less extreme case). Then when youre freshly single and you see couples posting stuff it can get a lot more painful.

 

Hahaha love the coffee remark

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Ohhhh I feel for you, that would be very hard to see. You'll always have those sort of days, when all you want to do is dwell and think about the past. I know you think it's pulled you down after seeing that, but try not to let it spoil your day and keep yourself distracted from thinking about it too much.. Maybe try and use it as motivation, to keep on moving forward and keep up your new hobbies!! The healing process takes quite a while, and it's different for everyone but I'm sure your going to come out of this stronger than ever. Just gotta have faith in yourself, and stay positive! Surround yourself with those who love you.

 

Thank you Tayla, I am glad to have supports in this forum during the difficult moments. I will try hard to use this chance to move forward, for a better me.

 

A friend of mine kept telling me that "everything happens for a reason, and things happen for the better". I am using this as a motivator.

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Yes there are studies that show that Facebook can help you stay depressed. I personally never update Facebook anymore. I will post photos occasionally but if people want to know about my life they know how to reach me. Try to not let that handmade gift thing bring you down. You never really know what's going on and ultimately who cares. I actually have about 200 mutual friends with my ex so I'll see stuff come up with his girlfriend. I blocked those updates from my newsfeed but whenever it gets me down I remember how my ex shared very similar, lovey dovey posts with me WHILE he was cheating on me, WHILE he was planning to break up with me AND during some bad arguments. Facebook is biased. It means nothing and there's no reason to assume the best case scenario.

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Yea exactly. It made me annoyed more than anything. Im going to keep in contact with people the "old fashioned" way.

Theres also no way for HIM to know whats going on in my life. Hehe. And unless he kept my number, no way to contact me >

 

haha yeah my thoughts exactly, i want communication with me to be made directly... i never check facebook anyway i got on there like once a month and by the time i read messages it was to late to respond to them.

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Thank you Tayla, I am glad to have supports in this forum during the difficult moments. I will try hard to use this chance to move forward, for a better me.

 

A friend of mine kept telling me that "everything happens for a reason, and things happen for the better". I am using this as a motivator.

 

It's ok! I'm glad I found this forum too, I actually have felt better in myself the last week because I've gotten things off my chest and everyone has given me their opinions.. Sometimes it helps more rather than speaking to family or friends about it. Yes your friend is very correct in saying that, and that is what I live by too. You'll see it soon enough too.

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Thank you Tayla, I am glad to have supports in this forum during the difficult moments. I will try hard to use this chance to move forward, for a better me.

 

A friend of mine kept telling me that "everything happens for a reason, and things happen for the better". I am using this as a motivator.

 

Every situation you ever experience can have something good come of it... use this as a learning experience and know what you need to do not to hurt yourself so much

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Studies do show that facebook affects you negatively because a lot of people end up stalking exes, frenemies, people they're envious of, etc. Even when you're not stalking because of the news feed you see more positives (cumulatively from all the friends on your network) than your own life so it distorts your perception to that of "other people's lives are better than mine".

 

The other syndrome associated with facebook and what makes it difficult to leave is the FOBLO (fear of being left out), your friends may plan something and forget to tell you about it, or they'll be talking about something interesting, or sharing pictures and videos and you'll be left out if the conversation in person ever arises.

 

It ain't easy, I went without FB for 6 months was probably the best thing I did.... though I still kept thinking "oh I wish I could post this" or "share this photo" or "share this link"... then I reactivated it... I don't ever post anything anymore because I lost the habbit, guess i wanted what i couldn't have and now that i do i don't care I should probably get rid of it again but I like looking at my own wall a lot (according to other studies it increases your self esteem, who knew?) lol

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If you're stuck with facebook like me, as in your friends only use facebook to communicate, try to do this. Block EVERY, SINGLE, PERSON who can update you on her. I have a crazy load of people blocked. Anyone who could give me ANY kind of update on her is blocked. I left absolutely no chance of her name coming up on my page. I talked to a few mutual friends, explained the situation, and blocked them as well.

 

Facebook is a poison. I hate it. Always have from the day it was created. But my friends refuse to use another way to communicate so I'm stuck with it whether I like it or not. My closest friends also blocked her. So maybe try to do that.

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If you're stuck with facebook like me, as in your friends only use facebook to communicate, try to do this. Block EVERY, SINGLE, PERSON who can update you on her. I have a crazy load of people blocked. Anyone who could give me ANY kind of update on her is blocked. I left absolutely no chance of her name coming up on my page. I talked to a few mutual friends, explained the situation, and blocked them as well.

 

Facebook is a poison. I hate it. Always have from the day it was created. But my friends refuse to use another way to communicate so I'm stuck with it whether I like it or not. My closest friends also blocked her. So maybe try to do that.

 

I did the same. Updates on her life kept reaching me through mutual friends and I thought well what is the point of blocking HER if I keep seeing this?? So I blocked all of them.

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