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I felt like a real person tonight


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I went out and played some music at the night I go to now and brought along this cute guy I met at the singles night.

 

AND I HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME.

 

I literally have not done as good a show as that, I had the audience eating out of my hand it was sooooo good. I also had this guy who'd come along to see me and people were telling me he was cute and there was an "atmosphere" between us....I barely thought of my ex. And I mean BARELY.

 

It was like I was in the driving seat of my life...it felt a bit unusual and scary but I was important to people!

 

I just thought I'd share this as we all know how many sad messages I post and so it's nice to hear something good I think.

 

I have not touched or kissed this guy in anyway or led him on but he is a genuinely nice person and he thinks I'm great so it's just nice to have spent time with him. I'm not so much crazy about him right now as just crazy about the fact that I felt on top of the world tonight. So many smiling faces and compliments and all from me just having a positive attitude...

 

I didn't feel pathetic, I didn't feel distinguished by my ex...I felt like a real person with real feelings and respect from others. I wish I could have that night last forever.

 

 

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I would like to have more awesome days yes! That is a good way to look at it

 

I think everything just sort of came together, I sort of know everyone in that place now, I have fans, the music went really well and this guy was there and for some reason he makes me feel like I can be myself. I guess guys who like you always make you feel like that in the beginning? Don't want to get all "codependent" though...My ex didn't even do that though! He was telling me how he didn't like stuff I liked right from the get go! Haha.

 

I'm not sure about this guy who came with me though, he's really very sweet, not bad looking either and just a friendly guy. But I get this feeling that I'm too "worldly" for him. He is younger than me and asks things like "So what TV shows do you watch?" this isn't something I am used to being asked as I am around arty people all the time and we generally don't watch tv. So he's probably a bit too "normal" for me. But you know I haven't implied anything, we've just been hanging out so there's no pressure I just get the feeling he likes me, he is shy about it but I know.

 

I don't want to end up "teaching" a guy about things. Although I don't want to be "taught" either...I don't know if that makes any sense? I just want to be in an equal situation. I guess this guy's sort of got an excuse, he's just moved to the country for the first time and it's only been a month so everything is new to him.

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