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i just want to be happy with life


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so as some of you on here who know me and my situation, my ex and i talked on monday about us, pretty much a conversation we've had numerous, and it's pretty much made me give up...i just try so much with her and she just doesn't want to try anymore, despite how much i still mean to her, her missing me alot still, still caring alot about me, sometimes wanting to text me too but holding back, ect....

 

it's still hurting alot, pretty much knowing that this seems to be it, because i can't keep trying to go after her, convincing her, ect...i just can't anymore....i have no hope left with her anymore, as much as i love her and wish things were different...

 

it's made me realize even more how unhappy i am with my life currently....when i had her, life was so much happier for me, more fun, exciting, less lonely for sure....i'm not saying i have to only revolve my happiness around her, because i shouldn't, but she sure as hell played a major part on my happiness, and i know i did too with her...shes told me before i was the best thing to happen to her, how just my hug and holding her alone just made any problems of hers or any annoyances not matter, ect...it's one of the best feelings in the world meaning that much to someone....

 

 

i have no idea what i want to do with my life, career wise, i'll be 25 soon....yeah, i have my associates degree, but i still dont know what i want to do...i wish i did, i really do....i hate being stuck in the same, somewhat boring life, go to work at my part time job that though it pays decent, i just dont care for as much as i might've at a certain point...i have alot more credit card debt these days than when i was with her, gained more weight since ive been with her....don't do much on my days off except go to the gym for a little bit, hang out with my friends a few times a week which is nice but i feel like we don't do much new, exciting things....i basically just live day to day, thats it...

 

she made mention to me the other night when we talked that "she just wants to be happy already", so i guess it's safe to say shes not necessarily happy with her life currently either...

 

when i woke up in the morning when i still had her, i was happy, knowing my life was pretty decent and that i had someone in my life who loved with all my heart!

i just wake up these days without having her with nothing to look forward to anymore...i miss that happiness and contentment i had when i was with her....she we had some issues sometimes, but what couple doesn't? the fact that everything she loves about me and everything i did for and to her to make our relationship great wasn't enough for her to stick by me through any issue sucks and hurts more than she or anyone else knows, and i told her that too the other night...

 

i just want to be loved unconditionally....i just want that happiness back again that i had when i had her, even if it means its not with her anymore, because its obvious she doesn't want to give that to me anymore...

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oh man,

 

I read your post and I thought for sure I wrote it. Your words are my words!!

 

Yes, there is no better feeling in the world to wake up with the woman you love in your arms. For all the guys out there that have that every night, appreciate it and never take it for granted. I feel for you in your struggle.

 

I wont bore you with my story which is very similar to yours, other than to say time will help to heal and eventually you will be okay. You are a young guy and I know right now this may not help, but God put this woman in your life for a reason. Maybe better things are on the horizon for you.

 

I believe we must feel pain in order to really live again. I go to bed alone thinking this was the bed I used to hold my beautiful woman in. Those are just memories now as she no longer loves me. Until I get that house sold, those memories are with me every night.

 

It will get better my friend. Try to go back to the things that brought you enjoyment in your life before you met her. Stay busy as best you can. You are hurting and I can really identify with what you are going through.

 

John

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Very sure most of us on here have been in the exact situation, so you're not alone. Break-ups can be so painful, and really mess with our emotions and our outlook on life.. I know it certainly has for me in the past, when my ex boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, I was left so hurt/broken for up to 2 years afterwards. I constantly thought about him, wishing I had him back.. A year after breaking up I started talking to him again, stupid idea. We started seeing each other at night at least once a month.. We told each other how much we loved each other still etc, but he said we couldn't get back together.. So in the end I decided to stop seeing him and doing this to myself, I was only causing myself the pain because I was still holding onto something that could never be. Life just wasn't the same, I put on A LOT of weight, I became withdrawn from everyone, I didn't have an enjoyable life and it's such a horrible feeling all of that combined. Only now another year and a half has passed, and I'm starting to feel whole again.. I never really have the urge to text him anymore, I think about him from time to time.. I know that there is no point, that chapter of my life is over now and that's where it has to stay. Even though life quite often feels like a struggle, each day I wake up and try to be happy about something, I just let all those positive thoughts take over, I never want to dwell on the negatives anymore.. Otherwise, I get very depressed and I hate feeling like that.

 

It will get better for you, just believe that there was a reason you two broke up, and sometimes getting back together after that it's never truly the same.. It's time for you to move on, but you don't have to try and erase the memories, it's a part of you and always will be. Do what you think is right for you.. Be happy, there's always something to smile about. You can get your life back on track, the same way each other person has. It will take time, and it's not easy.. But you'll get there.

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"I just want peace".

 

This is something I've been repeating to myself for 4 months now... Other people have been through much worse than us and survived. I guess we have to believe it does get better at some point. Hang in there. The fight is not lost.

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i feel like i'll never find anyone i bonded with as much as i did with her...i was her first everything too (serious, actual boyfriend, love, serious relationship, person she lost her virginity to, ect)...i never stop thinking of the memories we had, and i know she doesn't either, she tells me everywhere she goes and everything she does reminds her of me, and that she'll always look back on this/us with love...shes compared me left and right to guys shes liked before me and guys of potential interest since we're been apart since April and she said no one compares to me...i just wish i got more out of that, more from that

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i feel like i'll never find anyone i bonded with as much as i did with her...i was her first everything too (serious, actual boyfriend, love, serious relationship, person she lost her virginity to, ect)...i never stop thinking of the memories we had, and i know she doesn't either, she tells me everywhere she goes and everything she does reminds her of me, and that she'll always look back on this/us with love...shes compared me left and right to guys shes liked before me and guys of potential interest since we're been apart since April and she said no one compares to me...i just wish i got more out of that, more from that

 

Of course you feel this way, it's only natural. You need to overcome this fear, because it's not true at all. I had this exact same fear, and it's a horrible feeling.. If you both are meant to be, then you'll find a way.. Love conquers all in the end remember. However, if you can see that it's just dragging on now and there seems to be no inkling of you two getting back together, you need to distance yourself because having contact with her still is bringing back all those emotions and memories.. Your not letting go, maybe your not ready too.. Just try not to think this way though, because there's always going to be 'the one' for everyone out there.. It may not happen straight away, and when it does come along don't rush things.. Live life to the fullest right now, and stay positive because that's really the only thing that's going to help you at the moment. This is all a learning experience for you, and after all this you'll come out stronger and wiser from it.

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i just feel like i tried and tried with her, broken up 4 times, got back together 3, and she just let one negative outweigh the million positives and things she loves about me, and all the things i did for and to her, and just failed, because i'm pretty much just forced to give up now, because i can't keep going after her, convincing her this, convincing her that....like in the end, i just wasn't good enough

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i just feel like i tried and tried with her, broken up 4 times, got back together 3, and she just let one negative outweigh the million positives and things she loves about me, and all the things i did for and to her, and just failed, because i'm pretty much just forced to give up now, because i can't keep going after her, convincing her this, convincing her that....like in the end, i just wasn't good enough

 

Nooooo! Of course your good enough, don't ever tell yourself that. You just said it yourself, she was only focusing on the negatives which outweighed the positives of your relationship.. How are you meant to compete with all that, I'm sure you tried to reassure her or talk through it with her, but if she's not willing to see it then that's her fault not yours. In saying that, in a few of my relationships, I was like that and my god do I regret it now.. Maybe she will too. I've said this before in another post, but when I was with my first boyfriend, we broke up at least 4 times too.. I mean I was young, but it's just not right. The relationship was never the same after that and I was the one that ended it for good and I'm glad I did. I am far better off now, and you will be too. You know what, maybe in a few years you two might reconnect when you both know exactly what you want in life and in a partner, and it could be amazing.. For now though, keep the distance because it's messing with both your head and your emotions. At least you can say you tried..

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Dude, she doesn't want to be with you anymore.

 

You're going to have just as strong a connection with your next serious girlfriend and you're going to love her every bit as much. But this girl has kept you in limbo long enough. It's time to let it go. Stop waiting for someone who's used you as a Plan B for months now.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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