How can you know if you're "addicted to technology"?

[Unreasonable]

Sorry, there may be a better forum than this but I don't see one.

 

I have been accused of this by my wife, who has a track record of hating nearly EVERYTHING I enjoy, up to and including my taste in music.

 

First of all, I think she's full of crap. I am offended at being called an addict, and if you come at me with that, you better have some damn good empirical evidence that proves it.

 

When I protest, she uses the old "Denial is the first sign of addiction" crap, which is absolutely infuriating.

 

I had the pleasure of going to the bathroom to take a dump last night only to have her barge in to check to see if I had my phone. Which I did. It was reading material, much like a magazine would be in days of yore.

 

What I am a looking for is an ACCREDITED resource on "technology addiction". Not some crap by some airhead out of Cosmo.

 

I have already checked some "suspect" resources, and they say stuff like.

 

1. You think everything has a touchscreen. BZZZZT. Wrong.
   
2. You're obsessed with Facebook. Wrong. I check it once a day and I do it begrudgingly. She is on facebook way more than me. And I don't even have a twitter account.
   
3. You text more than you talk. Wrong. I detest texting. If someone wants to talk to me I much prefer to use my phone as, you know, my phone.
   
4. You can't stop using abbreviations. Wrong. You're lucky to get a lol out of me.
   
5. You get separation anxiety. Wrong. If I forget my phone, I might ask my wife if she has hers, simply because I want our kids to be able to get a hold of us.
   
6. You carry a charger everywhere. Uh, well, I have a charger at home, in my car, and at work. And I don't think that's terribly unusual.
   
7. You have phantom vibration syndrome. This has happened maybe twice in my life.
   

 

I can list off a bunch of other junk pseudo science, but it's tiring.

 

Also, I might add, that if I fire up a video game, she says, without even a minute passing, that it makes her feel like she in a deep hole and alone and like she thinks she could be replaced by a cardboard cutout. She says that if I play a video game with a female avatar that she doesn't look at me as a man, basically attacking my masculinity. She's a huge drama queen.

 

Sorry if I'm coming off as angry but, I've been living with her petty jealousy for about 20 years now (well before the invention of cell phones), in the beginning, it was about TV, then it morphed in to computers and basically encompasses everything that is NOT her. Now shes turning to junk science to justify her unreasonable behavior.

[Pisancho]

I think you become an addict when every 2 minutes you are on a gadjet and if your phone for example dies you dont bother getting a new one in the next hour. As for using your phone while taking a dump I do the same, cant sit there looking at the wall, it gets boring. As for your wife I think she is like my mom. Hates anything new in technology and talks crap about it. I recently gave her my old phone and now she barely spends an hour without reading something on some website. I think they are afraid of anything new, they like the old things they have. Btw dude when I play video games I use female avatars also, way better than male avatars and I dont think I grew a using female avatars lol.

[MisUnderstood9]

Sounds like your wife has a lot of insecureities or is jealous of the fact that you have hobbies and she doesnt.

 

My boyfriend (of 10 years) is the definition of a gaming and technology nerd. If its new and has to do with technology, he knows about it or we own it. His computer has two 27" screens attached to the damn thing and he built the whole thing himself. He only plays with girl avatars because he says he is going to play a game an stare at something, he'd rather it be a girl version or something then a guy" (flawed yes but Id do the same).

 

As for her barging in on you while going #2 to see if you have your phone - thats messed right up. I bring my phone to the bathroom with me, gives me something to do instead of just starring at the wall.

 

I used to get upset that he liked playing games a lot and I did used to b**** about it because sometimes yes it did feel like he wanted to play the games more then be around me, but I found the b****ing didnt do anything - these are his hobbies and if you cant beat them then join them so I did... I try and play some of the video games with him - if he's researching or reading about all the new gagets coming out, I try and seem interested and let him explain them to me (even tho it sounds like gibberish) and how it works and I can tell he is a little bit excited that I am trying to atleast learn the things he likes.

 

Have you ever tried to include your wife in participating in the video games with you? She definitely needs to chill out and if she is that extreme maybe she needs some councelling...

[Pisancho]

Oh and one more thing I noticed from.my moms friends is that the older they get(most are approaching late 40"s) the more threatened they get by anything which their husbands do, be it talking to female friends or hanging out with their guy friends they think they will get replaced or something. Your wifes case is pretty extreme being afraid of being replaced by technology. Eish my Dad really gets in trouble a lot, I cant help but laugh when my mom starts with him

[Unreasonable]

Have you ever tried to include your wife in participating in the video games with you?

Yes. In fact, we played MMO's together from 1998 all the way to a couple years ago. As far as gaming goes, she was, very much, the "cool wife." She stopped though, because, well, you play one MMO you've played them all, they are becoming quite generic and boring.

 

At one point, I would even say that I could not enjoy gaming without her. Now, after she quit, I've learned to be able to enjoy time alone, playing FPS's right now. I sneak in some me time, but feel compelled to shut the computer down whenever she's around so as not to offend her.

 

She has ALWAYS been jealous of ANY activity that did not directly involve her.

 

I feel very much controlled right now. And I feel this addict thing is insult to injury.

[MisUnderstood9]

I definitely wouldn't say you are an addict what so ever. She probably has no idea how to do something like a hobbie on her own to get her "me time".

Also, if she feels offended that she isnt constantly included in things, thats an issue she needs to get help for. That's not healthy what so ever.

But from what I am reading - you arent doing anything wrong and I wouldnt classify you as a addict

[Liraele]

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[Liraele]

I have dated gaming/tech addicts. I was classified as one myself, at one point.

 

You don't sound like one.

[bulletproof]

She stopped though, because, well, you play one MMO you've played them all, they are becoming quite generic and boring.

 

Maybe she quit because now you guys have kids, jobs, etc. and that isn't really a priority for her? And maybe she's resentful that you aren't doing the same?

 

How often do you play video games?

[Unreasonable]

How often do you play video games?

I play them when she's not home probably 3-4 times a week depending on her work schedule (she works nights usually 7pm or 11pm part time 3-4 times a week). If I try to play them when she's home she storms off in a huff. Like, literally, on sight. Not worth it.

 

On those times, I leave enough time to make dinner and do homework with the kids. They are not being neglected.

 

1 day a week (usually Wednesdays) we have a date night and I don't use the computer, at all, on that day.

[Isandra]

Those "tests" are nonsense in my opinion. An addiction is when you can't live a day without a smartphone/computer/laptop/game console/those things.

I love my smartphone, iPad and computer but I have no problem at all to turn my phone off when I'm with friends, when I'm on vacation I'm not going to visit an internet café.

 

So you like technology? Nothing wrong with that! So many people do.

 

Do you jump up and run to your phone when you get a message? Do you live behind your computer and do you replace real life contact with chat and facebook? Yes, then you are addicted.

[Unreasonable]

No, I do none of those things. In fact, she's WAY more into FB than I am. At most I check work emails as they come in, which is not too much after hours.

 

I think she just wants to label me as abnormal as a way of control.

[Longview01]

Hey OP i'm literally sitting on the toilet now replying to this thread on my laptop....once i'm done here i'm going to get my daughter to sleep then play some tomb raider till bed time....my wife doesn't have a problem with that its crazy for yours to have a problem either.

 

She sounds very very controlling...getting angry about female avatars...seriously now

[MsNadia]

I can understand what your wife feels; but that is because my boyfriend is a tech addict. I mean, he wakes up in the morning to get on the computer and is not off the chair until after I go to bed... he doesn't clean, he doesn't spend time with me.. I am in a relationship with the back of my boyfriend's head. You sound like a sweet man.. I would just sit her down and ask her, what bothers you about my tech time? Is there something I am not doing for you? Apparently you cook, take care of the kids and do your duty as a working man -- maybe just bring her home some flowers or something nice or go on a walk with her when the kids are sleeping to separate yourself from the house. In the house, things can get ugly, but walking outdoors is more of a common ground.

 

I hope you figure a way around it!