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Why does the depression come in waves?


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I'm 42 days post breakup with my ex-fiancé and on my 40th day of self-imposed no-contact. He broke up with me unexpectedly.

 

Yesterday I felt wonderful. I was almost feeling giddy about my future. I felt like I was finally starting to accept the fact that we will never get back together.

 

And then this morning after I got to work...BAM...I feel weepy and depressed. I want to call him and try to talk some sense into him. How could he throw away our two year relationship?

 

I just want this healing process to be over with so I can go on with my life.

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Hi

 

Because it was a LTR, you two were together a good while, now with the BU, you now feel the 'loss' and loss is NEVER easy.

So you will feel the heartache, sadness, lonliness, confusion etc.. and it will come in waves.

I'm still dealing with the loss of a 5 yr relation and am on month 9. Has NOT been easy at all! I've felt so rough for so long.. and still do struggle to keep myself grounded, daily.

 

It'll be like this.. a rollercoaster or emotions as we deal with the memories (constant) and of what we no longer have.. which is sad, yes I understand...

 

All we have is time. Time to work on accepting and time to work on healing from our loss.

I know.. it is not easy at all.

 

One day at a time, I say. All we can do.. If you need to cry it out, let it go. It's a release.

Take care of YOU now, though. As until the end, YOU is all you have, always.

 

Take it easy...you're not alone.

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I can relate to you completely. I have been in NC after BU for a month and a half know and it is funny how my mood swings. Some days (or even hours) I am fine, the next I am all in pain. For me it's not really all that hard to keep NC since I know it's for the best... but it's still a loss. Even if the relationship was not perfect you still get used to all the little things like doing things together, falling asleep together, all the text messages, sharing your stuff with him... It is normal to feel like this. YOu can't rush the healing provess, you can only try to think about yourself as much as you can and do things you like doing and see your friends/family. And just whenever you have the urge to contact him, come here and talk to us.

I also started writing a journal in here and I found it helps, plus you will be able to see your progress in the following weeks/months.

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I can relate. Sh*t sometimes I feel great one hour and terrible the next. Every morning I still wake up - though I try not to & expect a message. .Now its goteen to the point that I dream about the heartbreak. . .I'll visualize our times together - and hear a song (in my dream) playing on the radio or whatever memory it is and feel sad. . Can't even escape it when I'm asleep. I am learning that you can't force yourself to feel better in any specific time frame - like any other wound or bruise or pain, it just has to run its course.

Lexy83, I tried to journal but found myself crying even more & wanting to message him -- UGH!! =)

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I can relate. Sh*t sometimes I feel great one hour and terrible the next. Every morning I still wake up - though I try not to & expect a message. .Now its goteen to the point that I dream about the heartbreak. . .I'll visualize our times together - and hear a song (in my dream) playing on the radio or whatever memory it is and feel sad. . Can't even escape it when I'm asleep. I am learning that you can't force yourself to feel better in any specific time frame - like any other wound or bruise or pain, it just has to run its course.

Lexy83, I tried to journal but found myself crying even more & wanting to message him -- UGH!! =)

 

HOw long have you been in NC JSB? YOu just need to know that it is normal to feel like crying sometimes and you shouldn't feel bad about it. If you feel like crying, just let it all out. Sometimes it is hard to keep all the emotions inside and I also think it's not good if you do. When I feel like crying I just cry... and I don't feel bad about it because it's normal. It just means we are human beings who have true feelings and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

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Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone. I think I was just holding in my emotions. I have been determined not to cry over him. I was tired of crying.

 

A few minutes ago I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was sitting at my desk and the tears started flowing. I have to say that I do feel much better. It's like releasing toxic energy I guess.

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HOw long have you been in NC JSB? YOu just need to know that it is normal to feel like crying sometimes and you shouldn't feel bad about it. If you feel like crying, just let it all out. Sometimes it is hard to keep all the emotions inside and I also think it's not good if you do. When I feel like crying I just cry... and I don't feel bad about it because it's normal. It just means we are human beings who have true feelings and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Lexy83 - I honestly haven't gone 1 week without contacting him!! Its been just over 2 months since we broke up... we were still in that phase of missing each other for about a month or so.. tried to be friends . .but I didn't deal with it well . .I think I pushed him away bc I kept trying to get him back . . I wrote a letter to him on Sunday night expressing how I felt & I haven't contacted him since then. . True that we need to get it out. I pretended to be ok with it with my family/friends until Sunday I just broke down to my father and was honest about how I felt about my break up. The hard part is trying not to let it out while at work!

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A few minutes ago I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was sitting at my desk and the tears started flowing. I have to say that I do feel much better. It's like releasing toxic energy I guess.
I know what you mean! I have tried so hard not to cry at work!! OMG then a song comes on my radio or ipod reminding me of him & I have to instantly turn it off and then all the memories come back & I feel like crying!
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I feel exactly the same 2 months post BU. I was fine yesterday...almost accepting the situation. Even though it was not a LTR I still find it hard to accept it is over. Today I am feeling a bit low and teary. I guess it is because I miss him. Also, I keep havign thoughts about him moving on or already seeing someone that make me feel worse. I know I cannot ask him as it is his life. i have learnt to just cry and not feel bad

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I feel exactly the same 2 months post BU. I was fine yesterday...almost accepting the situation. Even though it was not a LTR I still find it hard to accept it is over. Today I am feeling a bit low and teary. I guess it is because I miss him. Also, I keep havign thoughts about him moving on or already seeing someone that make me feel worse. I know I cannot ask him as it is his life. i have learnt to just cry and not feel bad

 

I felt great yesterday and a little down today myself. If I need to cry, then I just cry and do not try to hold it back. It is healing and part of the process. Trust the process, do not rush it. Little by little the healing comes. Just keep telling yourself, "I am healing in a healthy way mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually". "I am getting stronger every day", "I am accepting this", "I am letting go and embracing the change".

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