Jump to content

Need help


Recommended Posts

My girlfriend and I have been off and on for several years now, we now have a 2 month old together and we both have a child separate. We dont live together.


Things have been rocky lately and I have no idea what to do. She has progessively gotten more frustrated with anything I do, or dont do.


Now its gotten to the point where shects like I dont exist. I havent spoken to her in 3 days now, and sorry doesnt work anymore even though I shouldnt be apologizing, she wont even though shes wrong too. I asked her 3 days ago if i could come over, she keeps making excuses, she doesnt work. She even said it herself that our relationship isnt her priority, the kids are. I agree, the kids are most important but shes emotionally detatched.


I last asked her whats going on, she said nothing, shes busy. So I have held back call ng or texting for 3 days, she hasnt attempted any contact.


I dont know what to do. We have a child now, if not this would be easy. She is acting so distant, do i be distant back? This anxiety is killing me.


Im starting to get mad that shes posting all over Facebook, but has n time for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's important that you don't keep the NC going or lose contact with the children. With her child from a previous relationship, I'm sure that child sees you as a father figure and has feelings for you. Make sure you show that you don't consider the children as 'disposable'.


This is the first thing that she will throw up at you is you not communicating or being with the children.


Regardless of what she does, make it a priority to make time for the children.


Don't think that you have to dish back to her what she is dishing out to you. Once you start acting like her, then that will be used against you and she may even start not allowing you to come over to see the children.


It's not clear with whom the children are living. I assume your child (not of this relationship) is with the birth mother? I will also assume that your 2 month old and her child are in your GF's custody?


She may have a situation that you are unaware of that she is not disclosing to you. Is it possible that she has interest in someone else? Possibly had an affair?


Have you done anything that you haven't disclosed to her that she may have found out about?


Whatever it is, it is important to get it out on the table and either work to resolve it before it gets to the point of no return. Once it goes on for a long enough period, there will be no fixing it - if it is even possible at this point.


No ' for tat' here is my strongest recommendation. That is childish and only throws more fuel on the fire.


Make time for her and get this out in the open.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the advice.


I do know the kids are most important, and always will be.


I've tryed asking her whats wrong and trying to get things out in the open but she just goes cold and doesnt want to discuss it and gets mad that i ask then and hangs up.


The somebody else or affair has never been the case when we have split before.


Whats mindboggling me is she has never done this. Shes been "frustrated" or "annoyed" with me before, lashed out, we fixed it or went our separate ways.


Im usually overapologetic and doing whatever it takes to keep the relaonship, but now it doesnt work. Like shes keeping me in limbo as a punishment .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like she is gearing up to break up. I would prepare yourself for that mentally. Talk to a lawyer about visitation rights.


Also, I would get better birth control. No offense, but having a child in such a short/non-marriage relationship isn't the right way to go once (let alone twice). And it's a burden to the relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...