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it hurts alot, but i guess i give up...


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maybe i tried to hard with her...i talked to my ex yesterday (for those of you on here who know me and my situatuon), was nice and friendly...i texted her, she did respond, chatting for a while, and we ended up talking about us...got what i usually get from her when we have this conversation...how amazing i am, how much she misses me, how sorry she is and how she wished it really did work and how she wished it were different, but gave me the whole "moving on" thing like she has most of the times we've been talking these past 9 or 10 months since this latest break up....wished i could've been holding her last night to just forget about all this hard stuff, but that "we know we shouldn't go ahead and do that"....i guess up finally....i guess i'm also disappointed and let down in myself...trying to hard to get back someone i still love and care about so much, and shes just too afraid that we'll end up back where we are now, yet again...

 

it hurts alot, thinking this seems to be it now...though we've had this convo and this situation happen probably 5 times now in the past 6 months or so....guess i should've stopped trying a long time ago, i figured if i kept trying, things would turn around and hell, was even in the process of beginning a new approach with her in December, but the changed a few days into it....how stupid was i to think she'd keep following through with that?

 

i don't expect anything anymore....honestly wanted to start crying laying in bed last night right after we stopped talking...we didn't end on a bad note really...her basically saying how sorry she is for all this, that she hopes i don't think shes indifferent to any of this...how she'll always look back on us and what we had with love, and doesn't want that to be ruined....how if she saw me on the street, she wouldn't stop herself from running up and hugging me but that that wouldn't mean we were trying, i wanted to respond after that last text, but i didn't...i just left it at the last one from her

 

i've been ok for the most part today...we talked up until 1am this morning, where i just left it at the last text from her and i went to bed, almost wanting to cry, from the frustration, from the heartache,sadness, from me just wanting to hold her at the moment like she wished i could, because of any ounce of hope i had just plummiting even further...i just felt weak and defeated...

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As hard as it is, it's time to move on with your life. She's told you how she feels, and that she's ready to move on with her life. It's not doing you any good holding on to false hope, because that's what it is really.

 

You'll get over her one day, trust me on that one.

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So, your last straw of hope is destroyed. I have had this conversation last week. Felt devastated afterwards. But realized I had already lost her, so this new feeling of loss is really not accurate. You didnt lose anything. Has she been there for you these last months? Were you getting what you want from her? Probably not. See, there is no real loss at least not any more than there was. Go no contact .. And try to heal. I know it is hard .. But she is gone. The person that loved you is gone. I'm sorry.. Hugs

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I'm sorry. I know how much it hurts.

 

Please let this be the end of contact between you. You've sacrificed your own well-being for months to keep yourself available to her in case she changes her mind... now it's time to put YOURSELF first so you can start to heal.

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