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Indicators


Meld

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Sorry if I am posting this in the wrong section and also sorry for what may seem like a completely pointless and over analysed perspective from me on something so small.

 

Had quite a bit of rejection, don't honestly mind rejection but usually it can bugger up friendships so generally if I find myself crushing I like to get an early indicator so I can just crush it there and then and just keep a good friendship, no harm done.

 

Friends with this girl at UNI, we normally hang out in class and lunch, we were assigned a project just before the start of a reading week and I asked for her number so we could sort the project out and she gave me her number.

I sent her a text later just saying Heya, this is my number, Dave. This was two days ago, now don't get me wrong she has nothing to text back too but purely the fact she did not text back seems like a indicator to me that's shes not into me.

At least from my way of thinking, if I gave a girl my number and she text the same thing I would reply and possibly just try and get some form of conversation going, even if it was just a "hey when do you want to sort the project out".

The absence of text just seems logical to me, that she is not into me.

 

Normally I would not care to much and just play it by ear and if doesn't work out then fair enough but I am pretty sure my friend might be into her and if that is the case I would like to just know she's not into me so I could possibly help set them up as he is not in any of her classes, I could set up study sessions and things like that and make sure to invite them both to give him an in.

 

I know this thread may seem retarded but my logic like stated is that if she was into me she would have replied to kick off a conversation and I just wanted others opinions to back me up so I can be like ok shes not into me thats cool, lets see if I can help my friend out.

 

Cheers and sorry.

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Your logic is ridiculously flawed. She is not you and women at large tend to be passive, i.e. they are taught since cradle never to chase a guy. So no, it doesn't mean anything at all that she didn't reply. Also, there was absolutely nothing to reply to. You are basically expecting her to initiate a conversation out of the blue and sorry, but generally girls won't do that.

 

The only way to know for sure if a girl is interested in you romantically is to ask for a date - directly and actually using the word "date" and none of the let's hang out or get together for dinner. Speaking for myself, I'm dense that way. If we are just friends or classmates and you ask if I want to go to eat, I'm taking you at face value. We are going out to eat as friends, unless you tell me there is something more on your mind and don't beat around the bush about it. Don't try to divine out signs. You are setting yourself for failure.

 

Honestly, you seem so scared of rejection that you are just rejecting yourself as quickly as possible. Stop it.

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Honestly, you seem so scared of rejection that you are just rejecting yourself as quickly as possible. Stop it.

You are probably correct, the fact that I even needed to make a thread about this, kind of just made me realize this myself.

I wanted someone to reply confirming what I thought so I could drop it no questions asked because I am a giant jessy.

 

Thank you for the insightful reply though.

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You are definitely reading WAY into this.

 

Have you made any hints that you like this girl TO this girl? If not, she probably has no clue. Most of us girls don't know a guy likes us unless they drop the hints that they like us or directly come out and ask for the date.

 

There wasnt anything in the text for her to reply to, she probably did what we all do and was like okay and saved your number. Now, if you would of said "Hey its Dave, when did you want to get together to discuss the project?" - thats something to reply to.

 

Personally, if I were you - I'd keep your mind on the project and just that atm to be honest. Get to know the girl more while working on the project together. If you still feel that way after the project is completed, I'd ask her on a date and be upfront about the fact that IT IS a date and not just you two hanging out and grabing a bite to eat.

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Yeah that is a much better plan MisUnderstood9 and have Easter break coming up which would be a good opportunity to ask her out.

 

Just sort of fell into the routine of it not going well to a point where I will use any excuse to reject myself and think well she's a cool friend you could have messed that up if you had done anything good job.

 

Thank you.

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You're making a mountain out of a molehill. If she was into you to start with, you would have some 'indicators' long before getting into this project with her. So, you texted her your phone number. That does not obligate her to respond in any way.

 

Try staying with the program. Do your project as assigned, work with your project partner to get the job done and then move on.

 

Why are you trying to involve yourself in 'match making' for your friend? Your friend is more than capable of fending for themselves. You are inserting yourself where it does not belong. You have more than enough to worry about in your own life rather than poking your nose into someone else's lives.

 

Make the most out of your UNI years by taking care of YOUR business. You are there to work on your education for your future. If you find a relationship while there, that is a bonus. Why spend so much energy on something that doesn't exist and doesn't have any benefit to your future?

 

If you are really interested in her, then ask her for a date, BUT, be aware, if you are still working on the project, this could impact your ability to work with her. If she rejects your date request, you may not be able to face her or concentrate on the job at hand.

 

Proceed cautiously.

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DjohnM, you are completely correct.

 

As for the project this would have no impact guaranteed. As for my friend, he is more than capable and it seems quite derogatory of her just to look at her as someone to set someone up with, you are correct.

 

If I was rejected it probably would have no affect, my work is what I live for but the downside to this as been my complete inability to function rationally sometimes in situations like this.

 

But honestly thank you for your feedback

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DjohnM, you are completely correct.

 

As for the project this would have no impact guaranteed. As for my friend, he is more than capable and it seems quite derogatory of her just to look at her as someone to set someone up with, you are correct.

 

If I was rejected it probably would have no affect, my work is what I live for but the downside to this as been my complete inability to function rationally sometimes in situations like this.

 

But honestly thank you for your feedback

 

You are most welcome. I'm happy I could contribute something that was of value to you.

 

Best wishes.

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