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Duncey question... when do you bother with Valentine's day?


nyxy

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I know. Bear with me lol. How early / late do you start doing things for Valentine's day? Prior to dating? During dating? Only once in a relationship? I'm curious as to opinions on this one.

 

As a scenario, imagine you're a girl, who has been casually dating a guy for the past 6wks. You talk everyday, you see each other a couple of times a week, however nothing is "official" and you're not 100% where intentions lay just yet. Do you do anything for V day?

 

Thanks

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My first thoughts are, of course you two should!!! Let's hope he asks you first though.. Maybe he'll surprise you on Friday doesn't matter if it's not official yet, at least you two aren't just jumping into a relationship. If he's speaking to you everyday and you see him that often, I wouldn't see why not!

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If I was hoping for things to develop further (i.e. making it official), I would definitely send a card. Depending on whether there were plans to see each other on Valentines Day I would think about a small gift … something chocolatey most probably.

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It has been daily contact since new year, but there are no labels on "us" at all just yet. Its a case of enjoying for what it is... hence being torn over whether to bother?

 

Would it be harsh to sit back and see what (if anything) he does?

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It has been daily contact since new year, but there are no labels on "us" at all just yet. Its a case of enjoying for what it is... hence being torn over whether to bother?

 

Would it be harsh to sit back and see what (if anything) he does?

 

But what if he is thinking the same?

 

At the end of the day you are dating so there must be a level of attraction there. I don't see why you can't send a card. You could leave it anonymous to add a light, fun feel to it.

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The whole point isn't to establish some deep thing here. What you have going will show itself in time.

It's a holiday, for fun. If you want to get or give him a small token of your appreciation of him, do so. If you don't or you have a bunch of heavy expectations tied up in it, don't.

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I wouldn't do anything if I wasn't in a relationship with him. Casually dating means he could be dating 10 more women at the same time.

 

Miss Marple...you're such a kill joy...

She's talking to him every day for 6 weeks...i doubt he's dating anyone else.

 

Gol dang i hate today's dating 'rules'....

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I second this post, especially when you don't know where "the intentions lay". But then again, I'm old school, lol.

 

But isn't the whole point behind Valentine's Day letting a particular someone know you are crushing on them? If she really likes this guy and wants him to know it surely it can't do any harm.

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This is the second time I'm not single for Valentine's and my plan is to hide a few cute notes in my girlfriend's purse so she can find them on the 14th.

So honestly, apart from writing them and a little collaboration with her sister in hiding the notes, it's not a lot of effort.

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Miss Marple...you're such a kill joy...

She's talking to him every day for 6 weeks...i doubt he's dating anyone else.

 

Gol dang i hate today's dating 'rules'....

 

Me too. lol. I honestly don't know whether he's seeing anyone else, I kinda assumed he was / that we were nothing serious for a long time, now I'm not so sure.

 

This actually highlights what I don't like about Valentines Day. It is now all so serious when it is really meant to be a bit of light-hearted fun.

 

Yep. Hit the nail on the head. I'm thinking stashing a box of choccies somewhere... back-up just in case, but I'd be baffled on what to put in a card anyway.

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Miss Marple...you're such a kill joy...

She's talking to him every day for 6 weeks...i doubt he's dating anyone else.

 

Gol dang i hate today's dating 'rules'....

 

It has nothing to do with today's dating rules.

Back when I was 25 or 35, and went out with this or that guy, if I didn't feel comfortable enough to introduce him as my boyfriend, it meant we weren't 'together'.

So what if she's been talking to him every day for 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years? The OP herself said they're 'casually dating', you know, and that she's not sure where 'intentions lay'.

So, yeah, when I 'casually date' someone, I don't get them anything for Valentine's Day...for me, it's a day associated with love...that's why I only feel comfortable to celebrate it with someone I love.

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Valentine's Day...for me, it's a day associated with love...that's why I only feel comfortable to celebrate it with someone I love.

 

Valentine's Day isn't exclusive to those in relationships or those in love. As I have said before it is also traditional to send an anonymous card to someone you admire. It doesn't have to be anonymous, of course. It depends how light-hearted or serious you want to make it.

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I don't disagree..that's why I had said for me

 

Well I guess I should confess that I have never actually sent a card to someone I admire - just someone I love!

 

As has been mentioned before on eNA … the whole dating game is different in the UK. It isn't quite so common to casually date more than one person, especially when it gets to the point where you are texting each other day and seeing each other regularly. That doesn't mean it is necessarily serious but you do assume that there is an exclusivity to it, unless otherwise discussed. That's why it seems a given that you would give that person a card and/or gift.

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