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is my boyfriend bi or gay I need answers ?


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So I know someone already posted a question on here like this but I typed the question in on google and this sight came up.....long story short I have a bf we have known each other for almost 10 years and we have 2 kids together.....We have been together on and off throught these 9 + years and we recently got back together 7 months ago...since he moved out of state for 1 year to ” help cancer patients” in some holistic type of environment...he got back 7 months ago and we have been together ever since he's gotten back...ok so he's very religious we had our kids out of wedlock I met him when he was out of the church....so here's the tea on why I suspect him of being on the dl..we dont live together because now that he's back in church he's a ”Christian” he thinks we.shouldn't shack up together....so he lives with 3 guys from his church in a roomate situation..now he says we cant live together because the Bible doesnt want us to ”shack up” but that didn't stop him from coming over my house the past 6 out of 7 months he's been back to have sex with me or to.get some head from me....so in December 2013 he told me he met a homeless couple (man and a woman)and they needed a place to stay so he paid for them a hotel...I didnt think nothing of it until..one day his phone rang he answered it while I was sitting watching TV in my room I pretended to act like I wasnt listening....so you know how someone can be on.the phone and you can tell what the other person on the other end of the phone is saying just by how the person on the receiving end responds to the conversation.....so I guess the ”guy” on the phone asked him ”whats that noise when are you coming” so my boyfriend responded in a irritated voice ”that's the TV !!!I'll be there in a lil bit” so then he hung up..and I was like who is that and where are you going in a lil bit ...and he was like tgat was ”the homeless guy I told you I met” ..mind you it's like 1:30 am and ..I just left it alone....soooooo... Like a few days later my boyfriend comes to visit me by this time he had stopped having sex with me in any type of way no kisses no compliments etc this is December 2013...so the next SUSPECT thing was he came over around 11 he stayed til like 12 he still never touched me or anything ...his phone started ringing towards almost 12 midnight he said out loud,”oh that must be ”him” in my mind I'm like this sounds so suspect...so.my bf answered and said in a real suspect ” I'll be there in a minute I lost track of time I'm sorry Shane please.forgive me” ..so I was like who is Shane ? And he was like the homeless guy I met ”I told him I would bring him money.so him and his wife can wash their clothes.....so then like for that period of about 2 Weeks my boyfriend was acting really weird towards me..I would walk around in shorts and a tank with my boobies pressed up and he'd frown and tell me to put sone clothes on.he invited me to church with him and he begs me to.go I think.its just a ”cover up” because at church he trys to act like were a couple....but soon as we leave he acts all uninterested ..so since I cant telll every single detail I will fast forward to now..just the other day he said that he spent a lot of money last month because he paid $800 in motel fees for the ”homeless couple” .....really ?????.. And he said the homeless guy said he would pay.him back on pay day and when pay day came the guy never paif him and doesnt answer his phone callls..I just looked at him.dumb.

 

 

reasons I think.he's gay

 

 

1) around the time I first met him some guys that knew him said I heard he was gay. (I told him.and he denied it and said they were just haters.

2)the mystert homelsss couple might.have just been a homelss.man who.he probably was.having relationships with since he paid a motel room uo.for ”them” worth $800

3)it seedms like hes using me as a cover for church

4) he acts uninterested in me we havent had sex since December b4 he met the homeless couple

5) he was away for 1 year and when he came back he wanted to have anal sex with me which he never did b4 he said ”u never been done in the butt b4?” As if he did

6) he hangs out with.his friends late at night

7) he's a,salesman so.now he dresses like a gay mam

8) he used to act really homophobic and cringing at gay people.

9) we just got into a argument the other day and I got mad and called him.the F word and told him.he was gay and he just said ”watch your mouth” he didn't deny it and that same day mumbled the fword outloud and he said ” what did you say” ?

10) I'm attractive I have a nice face,big boobs butt, etc and he seems uninterested..but the other day he picked me up for church and told me you look nice (I was wearing stockings and heels and a skirt)

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I think your BF uses an act to hide his real activities and no, I don't care how he justifies it if he's coming over to get sex from you he's still violating the tenants of his church. (Snorts) And you need to kick this silly guy to the curb, because seriously if he's sleeping around then he can bring you a very unwanted parting gift of the kind that can even kill you in the future--i.e. AIDS. My advice is to tell him to go talk to his minister about how to stop using "good Christian boy" as a cover to make himself and others think better of him AND you go to a women's clinic to get tested for STDs.

 

In all fairness you did let him come over and have sex with you and you didn't have to. And yes, he is definitely cheating on you whether Shane is indeed a guy or actually a woman and he's just pretending otherwise. Either way he's a lying hypocrite. And those should always be given the heave-ho once you know what they are. I say tell him it's over again and you go back to court to make him pay child support for his kids instead of spending it on "a homeless couple" and no I don't really believe his story about that. Do you?

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Typo I mean we haven't had sex since the time he met the supposedly homeless couple.and he never comes over anymore unless the kids need something or when he picks me up.for church..I guess we're almost done.....because when we got into that argument the other night 2/8/14 he told me he was sorry and he loves me and I'm his ”best friend” ...any other time its im his wife .now im his bestfriend ..and he gives me a kiss on the forehead only....and to add when we were arguing I said maybe u have a new girlfriend thats why ur treating me bad..and he said ” I d...on't have a girlfriend” I digress

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Everything you said was on point....my intuition is strong and I feel as if it's a front and I'm used as the ”cover” for him in Church...something isn't clean in the milk at all !!!!! I really believe he is on the dl I'm glad he isn't sleeping with me if he is but I do kind of feel betrayed just.for the simple fact I don't know because he hasn't said anythung about being gay or bi and I been dealing with.him.for 9 + years I know when something isn't right....and yes in December he only gave me $600 for the two kids but he spent $800 for a motel for two homeless peole who both had jobs ? But needed money to wash clothes but never paid for their motel..ok ??

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yes in December he only gave me $600 for the two kids but he spent $800 for a motel for two homeless peole who both had jobs ?

 

This is why you document that if you can then take him to court and get a court order for him to pay child support. Consult an attorney and if you can't afford one search out legal assistance for low-income families, which can sometimes be found.

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For a homeless man whose home was being paid for for a month, he seems awfully agitated on the phone at your boyfriends lateness, so much that he has to ask for forgiveness for it. I absolutely do not buy that story at all. Cheating on you with a man is only the legal explanation in all of this, things could be much more sinister in the grand scheme of things if he has to fob you off with such an unlikely story but who knows what that could be.

Either way from the beginning, blaming the fact that he won't take responsibility for his past "sins" - and the outcomes of that (your kids) by not stepping up and becoming a family unit (or even asking you to marry him so he can guiltlessly come and live with you and the kids) on the fact that "God doesn't want him to" is already a sign that he does not want to take you or a relationship seriously so you should have walked there and then.

Whatever relationship is left needs to end and become borderline "acquaintances" so he can see the kids still, but anything else needs to be over. Like I said, cheating on you with another man/woman is the legal explanation but I sense there's something much stranger going on that might end up being a danger to you and the kids. Keep your eyes and ears open and not just to look for signs that there's someone else in the picture.

All you need to know right now though is he is spending a massive amount of cash on someone/something that isn't your children, whether he is bi or gay now you should walk away from wondering, and just focus on the fact that his priority is not his kids.

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Thank you for responding.....I'm most definitely cutting things down to being acquaintances ....he's going to wonder why....but maybe he'll tell his truth because something isn't clean in the milk.....he uses religion for what he wants picking and chosing what fits his lifestyle I'm sure he has some inner demons he's dealing with....but I will not hang around wondering anymore and feeling unattractive because he clearly isn't interested in me anymore...and something strange just might be going on but everything in the dark will come to light.

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