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Keeping things in perspective when dating multiple people..


JA0371

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This question is not necessarily for me, just something Ive always had an issue with in dating...and that is how does one keep an emotional balance when dating more than one person? I've always been the type to want to date one person at a time, so I am perplexed when I hear someone say they have three different dates a week...lol.

 

Relationship 'experts' say you should keep playing the field until you decide to commit to one person...but if you're dating three or four people...when do you decide that? I know it would bother ME to know the person I was into was dating all these other women, so my natural response would be to stop dating them lol. Anyone else feel this way? Or am I just crazy?

 

Bottom line: how do you manage your emotions in these situations?

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It's always been easy for me because I rarely meet someone that I'm attracted to, who's also attracted to me and we want the same things. I'm not sure how I would react if I happened to meet 2 or 3 people at the same time and everything seemed to be going well with all of them. It's like science fiction

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This question is not necessarily for me, just something Ive always had an issue with in dating...and that is how does one keep an emotional balance when dating more than one person? I've always been the type to want to date one person at a time, so I am perplexed when I hear someone say they have three different dates a week...lol.

 

Relationship 'experts' say you should keep playing the field until you decide to commit to one person...but if you're dating three or four people...when do you decide that? I know it would bother ME to know the person I was into was dating all these other women, so my natural response would be to stop dating them lol. Anyone else feel this way? Or am I just crazy?

 

Bottom line: how do you manage your emotions in these situations?

 

I am exactly the same as you, and find it baffling how people juggle dates. I think maybe because I am pretty intoverted, having multiple dates a week with several different people would exhaust me so much, the thought of trying to do that makes me cringe. Not that I am judging anyone that does..to each his own. Just not for me. I like to get to know one person at a time. I think I would feel pretty un-special too if a guy I was dating were to tell me that he is seeing multiple people.

 

So I am curious to see what some people will write here.

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It's always been easy for me because I rarely meet someone that I'm attracted to, who's also attracted to me and we want the same things. I'm not sure how I would react if I happened to meet 2 or 3 people at the same time and everything seemed to be going well with all of them. It's like science fiction

 

Oh my god, Can you imagine meeting two or three men that were all amazing and you had to try to choose? I think my head would explode.

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I am exactly the same as you, and find it baffling how people juggle dates. I think maybe because I am pretty intoverted, having multiple dates a week with several different people would exhaust me so much, the thought of trying to do that makes me cringe. Not that I am judging anyone that does..to each his own. Just not for me. I like to get to know one person at a time. I think I would feel pretty un-special too if a guy I was dating were to tell me that he is seeing multiple people.

 

So I am curious to see what some people will write here.

 

introverts for the win! haha but i don't get it either, itd feel bad if someone was not exclusively dating me after our second date

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I'm the same as you OP. Many a time, when i was hell bent to meet someone, I would see one guy on Sat. and another guy on Sunday. They either liked me, and i not them....or just wasn't a match at all! (usually this!)

 

Then i'd give up for awhile.

 

If i actually ever met someone i LIKED.....i would NEVER look any further. usually things petered out emailing after 10 days without ever meeting...so i never had to worry about 'multiples'.

 

Sweetie...if it isn't your cup of tea...don't do it. There are many people out there that only like to date one at a time! Good Luck. you are beautiful, so you should have no problem!!

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Oh my god, Can you imagine meeting two or three men that were all amazing and you had to try to choose? I think my head would explode.

 

DAMMMM GIRL....I would think i was dreaming and never want to wake up!!!

 

I remember when i was married (ugh) and dreaming i met the man of my dreams! I'd wake up and be so disappointed that it was only a dream!!!

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Multiple dates? I'm lucky if I get one date a year. Ok, kidding aside, I know exactly what you mean. From a guy's point of view, I'd feel both ridiculous and somewhat guilty asking another woman on a date before/after seeing a girl for a date the night before (especially if I had a good time and said I'd see her again). I mean, obviously, if you go on a date and make it clear to the other person that you're not "feeling it", then it's that much easier to re-invest emotionally with someone else, but I'd hate for my dating life to turn into some kind of reality show with 4-6 contestants and varying benefits for all of them.

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I'm exactly the same!! The most I've seen is two guys in one week, but even then it just feels weird. I think I'd get pretty jealous to know that a guy I'm seeing and starting to be interested in is seeing multiple girls a week.. Then again I guess the more options it might make it easier to choose the right one. When I started seeing a guy that I had an instant click with, I didn't take up any other offers for dates even though it wasn't serious or anything at the time but it just didn't feel right to me.

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This is exactly why the TV "The Bachelor" is such a train wreck!

 

I think most people are not good at this but everyone seems to say this is what you should do. I think I could on initial dates with 2-3 guys (as if that would ever really happen) but once I had feelings for one I'd probably have to narrow down the field...for me though it takes 2-4 dates to know if I feel it. So if everything lined up correctly it could happen but I couldn't date even 2 guys for months.

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I'm exactly like you too, I would never be able to date a few guys at the same time. I have no interest in dating for the sake of dating, or to kill some time. For me to want to go on a date with a guy, I have to really, really like him, and that happens once in a blue moon. There has never been a situation where I really, really liked 2 or more guys at the same time, so I never had to choose or put things into perspective. I can't even imagine how that would feel. All I know is that I'm not able to divide my attention between different men, it's either I like one and I focus on him, or if I find myself wanting to get to know another guy, it means I'm not interested in the first one, so I stop seeing him and start focusing on the other one.

 

Also I would not like it if I knew the guy I was dating was also dating other women, that would turn me off and I would not want to see him again.

I don't know the answer to your question because it's never been the case for me, but I just wanted to say there are many people out there who feel the same way you do.

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