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Feeling like I have no real friends


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Hello! This may be a bit long, so I appreciate any responses. I'm trying to give you a wider aspect of my problem, so I need to touch base on some of my issues.


I've never been a very sociable person. I mean, I have friends (not very many, but I've built some long-lasting friendships). However, lately, I feel like I'm starting to drift away from them. The one I consider my all-time best friend is still by my side (we've had our ups and downs), but we're in a good place and we talk almost everyday.


My main issue is with a guy I've known since elementary school. He's a cool guy, but he has some issues and they're starting to take their toll on me. Last year, I think he tried to make a move on me, which I rejected, because I was in love with someone else. Now, he's recently broken up with his gf of 6 months and he's trying to hit on every girl he sees online. Normally, I wouldn't be extremely opposed to this, but he's added a colleague of mine on FB and started chatting with her. I feel very ashamed about this. Not that he chatted her up, but he doesn't even know her and I didn't warn her (because I didn't think he would do this).


Also, I was supposed to meet him today, but he cancelled, because it was "too early" in the morning for him. I sometimes get the feeling he disrespects me: he says I never truly loved anyone, that he could do the work I do, but he's not the kind to study this much and generally, gives off the vibe that he feels better than me.


My final issue is with my colleagues. I love the work I do and really, I go to work feeling refreshed, but my colleagues do not. They only want to skip work and they try to get me to come with them. We used to be very close last year, but now, there's only one friend I've got there. The rest of them only want to take advantage of me.


I'm really in a crisis. Do you think I'm overreacting or are my worries legit? Am I really better off with no friends?

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he is single and free and chasing girls are the norm, however you rejected him and you look into his business - do you like him to be closer to you?


No, it's not that. It's ok that he chases girls, but what I don't like is the fact that he wants to hit on girls who are my colleagues, whom I don't even have a close connection to. Also, yes, I'm a bit worried about him because he sleeps around, but that's his business.


I have no romantic feelings for him.

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Am I really better off with no friends?


This is an unproductive way to characterize yourself when you just told us that you have some long time friends and one good one in particular.


That's not "no friends".


Having dumb colleagues at work who want to bail on their responsibilities is also not the same as "no friends," and you'll meet people like this wherever you work. So don't try to be friends with them. Be kind when you do business with them, then put your eyes on your own paper and do your work. Be kind every day to someone else who seems lonelier than you, and you'll notice that you're in better company than you realized.


Seek new friendships outside of work, it's a large world.

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